Would you forgive a Cheater?

You come here just to post that? Do you have an opinion about anything else?

Look, your posts are mostly nothing other than silly jokes, smileys and judging people. If you think you are nicer and better than me, think twice.

 

Jesus, when did being against cheating become such an unpopular thing?
Some of you really are moral freaks.

 

..

 

That's okay.

 

It also takes a lot of love and a mature mind not to disrespect your partner by being with someone else behind their back. If a person cannot show that kind of love in a mature way then they don't deserve another chance, because there are just way better human beings to spend your time with out there.

 

First of all...just because people's answers to this question are not the same does not mean people need to get pissy about people having a different opinion or different things they would or would not put up with, tolerate or forgive/forget.

That said, well, first of all I will repeat that after almost 15 years my husband has not cheated on me and I doubt he ever will- he's not like that BUT... when I said that yes, for him and this specific relationship, that if he ever WOULD and would regret it.. I would assume the relationship had gotten so bad somehow...and I'd look back over the past 15 years at all the amazing ways he's been here for me, the fact that we have one (soon to be 2) kids together.....and I would forgive him and move on together and forget it as best as I can. I response to what enhancer just said (post #106)-I just wouldn't, in THIS relationship, judge how good of a human being he is based on one mistake after so much time together, etc.--- I can totally understand people who wouldn't--- I would not be NEARLY as forgiving in a new relationship or repeat offenses... but in any case, I think for some people, in some situations, is a situational thing. I would use it as a wake up call to try to determine if the marriage could be fixed and I would find him to be worth trying. To those who wouldn't, that is totally understandable too and I do not understand the hostility that SOME ppl here have on that either way...and luckily, this is very unlikely to be anything I'd ever have to really deal with...

 

I am sorry for "moral freaks" part of the comment, but not for anything else.
I might be the moral police lol, but people on the other side are just as bad, and as guilty of judging others.

 

I don't think cheating under any circumstances is the morally right thing to do, but I do think it should be treated on a case by case basis. Like, if you treat your partner like shit and stopped having sex with them 3 years ago you have to be able to accept at least some of the blame.

There is also a difference in forgiving a cheater when you've been together a year or forgiving a cheater when you have kids together and have built a life together.

I personally would not be able to forgive under most circumstances but I know if the relationship had soured a long time before he cheated AND we had reason to work it out, like kids or years of commitment behind us, I would be willing to work on the relationship if he was also willing.

There really isn't a right or wrong answer here.

 

It's only sex. I don't know why people make such a big deal out of it.

 

Sometimes it's more than sex.

 

Well, if there is more than sex involved the relation was probably at it's ending stage anyway.

 

No hostility to you are anyone else on the forgiving side of things! Just stating how I look at things. Others are free to do things however they want and that is their call.

I run on a system that works for me and am only really happy when I live by it. When I am with someone there are three important things needed for me to want to be with them. They are respect, communication and trust. Without those things there is no reason for me to be there. Someone who cheats on me blew it on all of those things.

I also live by what I believe in. I feel it is wrong to betray the person that has put their trust in me so I don't do it. Just like I don't feel it is right to beat the shit out of someone just, because I had a bad day, get behind the wheel when I have had to much to drink and put peoples lives on the line, steal from someone just, because they have more then me and so on. These are all things I guess people could say are mistakes, but I am the one in control of what I do and don't do so to me there are no excuses.

I give a lot to the ones I love and if they end up being a selfish me person then I am done giving. I don't think there is any act more selfish then cheating on your spouse.

 

Cheating is more then just sex! It is lies, deceit, disrespect, dishonour and selfishness. If you are okay with those things cool there is no shortage of people out there for you.

 

I try and be completely open and honest with my partner. Without the ability to trust one another, your relationship is lost. Depending on the circumstances, I might try and forgive them. On the other hand, cheating is sort of desperate act. What is the hole that needs to be filled in your relationship? And can it be filled at all?

 

I didn't mean you or anyone in particular. Just seems like ppl in general have been getting worked up with people not agreeing with them.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKZRp515SmY"]Patsy Cline - Your Cheatin' Heart - YouTube

 

So you are a saint?

 

I don't do anything to other people that I would not want done to me! If that is to complicated for you to understand then I am not sure you will ever get it. Yes some people practice what they preach. Not everyone in the world is all about themselves. Sorry to let you down.

 

Ok fine, keep on lying to yourself.