Would You Follow Jesus?

If he was standing right in front of you asking you to?

 

Today, no! People would probably think him a nut case!

 

Probably not. Maybe if he healed me from an incurable disease or something though...

 

Probably not literally. I kind of like it where I am. I think philosophically I follow him more often than not. I coined the phrase Secular Christian to kind of describe myself in regards to religious belief...that is, I was raised in a Christian family but as an adult I don't believe in the supernatural.

I'm kind of interested in those that call themselves Red-Letter Christians. They seem to have it together when it comes to Jesus' original message.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red-Letter_Christian

 

Too fucking right. That guy used to heal people using weed, and he used to give it away for free. He wouldn't need to ask.

Hey Jesus, can I please be one of your disciples in return for an unlimited supply of the dankest weed om either side of the Gaza stripe?

 

Would I follow Jesus Christ if he was standing right in front of me, personally inviting me to follow him?

Absolutely. I mean, it would kind of be stupid not to, don't you think? The man can turn water into wine, after all. And he was a fantastic carpenter. He could build me shit, yo! A book shelf, wine cellar, dream house. The possibilities are endless.

 

That's also a good point, always nice to have a glass of wine with a nice pipe.

 

I wonder if Jesus can turn hangovers into orgasms as well? Seems pretty likely, although I've not read much of the bible. That would be handy as fuck, unless you had to go to work in which case it would be both alleviating and embarassing.

 

Depends on where he's going....

 

Probably not, because it is a sin to have sex outside of marriage, and I think it is even a sin to pleasure yourself (although I am not 100% sure about that).

 

It's not easy to pleasure yourself when both your hands are nailed to a cross. Maybe that's all part of the fun, I don't know I've only ever tried auto-erotic asphyxiation.

 

maybe

but he'd have to make me some wine first..and maybe make a few people i hate die ...just for proofincy purposes

 

Jesus don't work like that. You might be better talking to Lucifer or Negan

 

If he's standing right in front of you that means he's not going anywhere...




Hard to follow someone that's not going anywhere... innit? You'd just be standing around 'n shit.

 

If Jesus showed up now he'd be in jail by next week.

 

You give him a week?

 

Lemmy did when he wrote it.

 

I'd go if we didn't have to go on foot.

 

I'd bet he would drive a Microbus.

 

Good, because my Jesus Sandals already have alot of miles on them.