...who have men that let you have sex with other men. How did you and your man start sharing you sexually? Who else do you sleep with and how often? And why does it turn you on? What advice do you have for other wives and gf's who have men who want to share you with others? There are a lot of forums on here where men are telling their stories but lets hear the womens point of view...after all it's all about the women:2thumbsup::devil:
It was my idea. I'm not sure that's the perspective you're looking for. But the marriage has been open for almost two years now which is 40% of the life of the marriage , but only about 28% of our time since we started dating. Probably about 20-22% of the time since we became friends. It's not what I wanted ideally, but we are poorly matched sexually. I don't want to get too far into the details because I promise that would turn into a thread-jacking. In simplest terms, our arrangement allows me to seek what I need when I want to, and tries to encourage him to experience what he should have when he was in university. But it's not working. It's not working because he's not experimenting, only I am. And it's not working because I'm starting to miss monogamy, and I can't be monogamous with him. I can't function properly on that little sex, on sex that undeveloped, or sex with such poor non-verbal communication. There are other, related issues, but I do t want to stray too far. I've loved some of my lovers as friends, and feel very close to some of them. I've loved some of my lovers the same way I love my husband, but not as much. Two lovers were real competition. One would make a terrible husband, but there was just something really special between us. I took comfort in the knowledge that it wasn't sustainable and would fade once we moved away. Now that we've moved, we've let go of all our plans to visit each other; they've become lip service. The other would make a very good husband, and he wants me to leave my husband for him. Of course, he'd have to divorce his wife, and as she has no idea about me, the concern is that he'd do the same to me he's done to her. Granted, it would be impossible to cheat on me because I wouldn't deny him having other partners if he wanted. But the emotional bond we forged without meaning to could happen with him and the next chick, and then where would I be? (Answer: stranded in a foreign country, thousands of miles from the rest of my world, possibly having relinquished my American citizenship.) Moreover, though what I've been offered by this man is very tempting, and I'm in love with him, I still love my husband. My husband is a good man, a beautiful, loving spirit, and I don't know that I could handle hurting him unnecessarily. For now, it is enough to rendezvous with my lover whenever we can manage. My husband and I read a book called 'Opening Up' when we were talking about having this arrangement. I read it first while trying to figure out how to ask for what I needed. It helped. One of the most useful questions I found therein was along the lines of asking the reader if it was fair to expect one person to meet all of one's needs. We decided it was not. For the record, married men have a very hard time meeting available women through avenues that are not specifically lifestyle venues or events. Women? Believe me I'm a girl-next-door type, nothing to write home about, but attractive. Probably between a 5 and a 7 on a scale of 1-10 depending upon whose scale we're using. But I never struggle. Ever. When I want to meet someone new, I meet someone. I swear it is that easy. The hard part is honestly the process of eliminating potential playmates, and getting those in the cipher to continue to get regular STD screenings. My husband never watches. He's not sharing me. How can he? He doesn't own me. It's more like I'm just off doing my own thing, and I always come home.
We often talk dirty before and during sex about different scenarios that involve her having sex with other men and then with me and she likes this, but after we have sex she doesn't mention it. She says it makes her horny but I feel like it is just my ideas and she is going along with it so we can get horny while we have sex, but then nothing. My fantasy is for her to have liasons with other men and for us to be open about it and have super horny sex together. I want to watch her, hear her, smell her, taste her, wave good-bye to her, welcome her home and have the ultimate pleasure with her. We do have young kids together so reality is never far from home and I guess I am not that fussed during weekdays, but on weekends I would love to give it a try. Would be good to hear from women who sleep with other men to please their husband and have honest relationships with them. Has doing this improved or damaged your relationship with each other?
It started, because I thought it was a pity my man wouldn't experience sex with other women besides myself. Supposing we stay married for the rest of our lives, I think it'd be a pity to only ever fuck the same person. I had previous experiences and I thought this was a good thing. I wanted him to have the same: other experiences. He has always known I like freedom for me and for everybody else, including him. I've exposed my view on the subject when we were dating and he agreed with me. When we were dating, I've told him he could fuck any woman he wanted. Having said that, though we had that freedom, we didn't use it at first. The first time I fucked another man, it was actually out of frustration. I wanted different sex than what I was getting home. We had already talked about it and he didn't have the inclination to do what I wanted, so, it was decided I'd look for it elsewhere. It was very easy to find. How often do I fuck other men? Not that often. Sometimes I go on a fucking spree, most times I just fuck my husband. We go to swingers clubs together and we also flirt on our own. When I'm on vacation alone, and that happens about 3-4 times/year, I sometimes go for a ONS fling and sex. For ONS, I'm very picky, so, even when I'm hunting for sex, if I don't find a man up to my standards, I prefer not to fuck at all. At clubs, I'm less picky, but that's because I'm very active and I easily gather a legion of fans every club we go. It isn't that I'm something special, which I'm not. It's just that the other women just sit drinking something. I dance, I tease, I strip, I masturbate for them, I grab cocks, butts, lap and pole dance... when it's time to actually get some action from their side, they're eager to please and that's what they'll do: please me. In general, I prefer other lovers to be different from my husband, to do things differently. If they're doing the same kind of fucking, I'd rather just do it home, since it is and it'll always be safer. A ONS has to be an outstanding lover, or I'll dress up and leave before we get started. My man isn't in it to see me with other men. He's in it for his own pleasure. When he goes hunting on his own he tells me how it went afterward and I give him comments, tips, on how to make it work better next time. It isn't as easy for a man to find women to fuck as it is for women to find men. He is my best friend. When we do things, we do it with peace of mind. Tips for other women? I have none to give. It's the kind of thing we have to find out for ourselves. I'd just advise people to play safe, at least, as safe as possible.
