Worst two days of my life... :(

you guys have helped me so much. i went to the doctor today and he told me i am the most healthy perosn hes seen in quite a long time, hich made me feel good. he also filled me in on things that the ER doctor failed to inform me of, like the fact that im RH positive and not RH negative which is good etc. he also told me that theres no reason i cant get pregnant again which made me happy. the only thing that bothers me is waiting 3 months. i hate the fact ive already waited over a year and now i have to wait even longer

 

thats good. i know everything will work out for you

 

I'm so glad that you got good news from the doctor! Focus on the posititve things that he told you, and remind yourself of your strong points every day. And don't look at these three months ahead of you as a time that you hate to wait... It's hard after such a loss, but really try to look at it as a time to boost your spiritual health, your physical health, and your strength in believeing in yourself. If you can surround yourself with positivity and confidence and love, and help your husband to do the same, then when the time comes for you guys to try again, you will have all of the good vibrations around you to help you along. I'm sure I speak for all here that we'll be sending positive, healthy, joyful thoughts your way to help you heal and grow during your time of rest. *hugs*

 

That's so great to hear that things went well for you at the doc's the other day
Some things that I have heard that help to concieve are acting like you're already pregnanct. So instead of spending the next 3 months waiting, act like you already are in the way you take care of yourself, like taking vitamins, etc. Just a thought

 

yeah i dont know why but ive pretty much given up the vitamins i figure whats the point..and in all honstly i havent been taking very good care of myself either

 

:O

 

yeah well at the moment my husband and i really regret not getting pregnant alot sooner

 

Didn't mean to make you feel bad, good luck to you.

 

sweet; your only 22 ... you've a long time to recover and than some . i'm sorry to hear about your loss . But never give up hope. Theres lots of support here so just remwmber if you ever need someone to talk to we're always here for ya.

 

i know
and i realize im only 22 but my husband is almost 28 and his mother passed away before she could be a grandmother...im afraid the same thing will happen with his father and my parents..this is my biggest fear, and i hate to think about it

 

just giving an update..im pretty sure im in even worse spirits now than i was when it first happened...i feel like a complete failure, i dont even leave my house and go into public anymore because i burst into tears and sob uncontrollably whenever i see a pregnant woman. my next door neighbor is almost 8 months pregnant and i cant even go outside if shes outside because i cant handle it.i keep trying to tell myself children are just a waste of time and money and hopefully i will convince myself of it eventually. i cant stand the pain all of this has caused me. all i do is sleep and cry in all of my spare time.....i hate my life...

 

well.. thats a positive attitude! Don't mean to sound all flippant, but I doubt all the moping around is really helping you conceive. Get beyond it... am not saying you shouldn't allow yourself to be upset, but I am saying that maybe you shouldn't let it control your life to the extent you are.

Instead of wallowing why not get out there and do something to inhance your fertility? Or how about doing some visualization exercises and meditation?

Or you can tell me to screw off... whatever makes you feel better.

 

I have been there! I remember shaking at my desk at work when yet another person announced their pregnancy, and I had tried to conceive for over 4 years with no luck, even taking fertility treatments. In the time I was trying to have a baby...my sister, my best friend and even my 17 year old niece got pregnant and all had their babies. All my friends were already pregnant and having number 2 and I still wasn't pregnant, but it does happen when it is right...and I know it's not what you want to hear, but someday you will understand and you will be holding a baby and you will know why it happened when it did.

I agree with icedteaprincess, moping is not going to help you conceive. You need to stay positive, get lots of exercise and fresh air and believe that your baby will come when it is the right time. I believe a baby feels what her mama feels immediate at conception, and if you were to get pregnant now, it would negatively affect your baby. You need to take care of your body and yourself spiritually before your body can take care of a growing human. Enjoy life and Good luck.

 

my poor mother went through the same things.
She couldnt have babys and all of her brothers and sisters had familys...
But she adopted me, and even though we arent blood we are soul mates.
Everything will happen just as its supposed to. A baby will come into your life when its the right time for both of you.

 

sweet your only 22... give your body time to heal.

 

Sweetdreadlover... What you went through was a very hard and emotionally tolling thing. But I think you need a good hard slap in the face. WAKE UP! Look at what you are doing to yourself! Everything happens for a reason dear, and you are ignoring the lesson that was given to you. You could be taking away all kinds of growth and strength from your experience, and yet you choose to wallow in despair. What are you looking for when you come here and tell everyone what a loser you think you are? Do you want us coddle you and tell you everything will be okay... That what happened to you was wrong? Yes, you deserve compassion and support, but this is silly.

I'm not trying to be harsh, and it isn't my intention to make you feel worse. But I honestly feel like you are being selfish and missing out on the bigger picture. You are sitting being sorry for yourself, and producing nothing but negativity in your world. Think instead about what you could be learning. I haven't been around in a while, but I remember the early days of your pregnancy. You were happy, but more than anything I felt fear from you. Fear that you would do something wrong... Fear that your cat, or your yogurt, or your diet, or whatever would hurt your baby. What were you really afraid of? Did you really feel like you were up to having baby, that you were strong enough emotionally? I would guess that even then, you felt guilty or unworthy about something or else you wouldn't have this terrible guilt now. Your baby came to you, and your baby chose to leave. Either because it felt you needed to learn something, or it knew that in your own heart you knew weren't ready.

Today, months later, you are just where you were in the days after your baby left this earth. You have taken nothing from your experience except for hurt and darkness. Why do you feel so guilty? What did you "do wrong"? What are you looking for in the loving comments of others that you can't find in yourself? If you can find the answers to these questions in your heart, and ask yourself the even harder questions that those answers will bring with them, and then begin to forgive yourself for whatever horrible thing you feel you have done, then you can let go of the burden you carry. But the way you are going now, you are just carrying too much darkness and sadness and hurt to carry another baby. You don't want a baby to feel what you are feeling now, do you? And I would hazard to guess that you didn't want a baby feeling what you were feeling then. Forgive and love yourself, girl. *hugs*

 

IvoryVision, I just want to tell you that although it might be hard for SweetDreadLover to read I believe what you said is very beautiful and thoughtfully written.

 

Advaya, I agree with you, too

hon, what do you want us to say? When we offer compassion, you seem to come back and give us trouble for what we say. It takes time to heal from something like this, but you have to try to make a conscious effort to get your life back on track. Misery loves company, and doing this to yourself is only going to bring you down further and futher and further. You're putting yourself into a dangerous state of depression. No one wants to see you hurt, but life has to go on. When you are meant to have a baby, you will. Life does not stop when tradgedy happens, we just have to learn to deal with it and move on.
*hugs* please feel better

 

so much easier for people with children to say...especailly those who have never been through such a thing...

 

Hey, I don't have kids. And I had a liver transplant, which would mean if I ever did get pregnant I would be considered high-risk, so I'll probably never have biological children.


Seriously, have you ever considered adoption? That's what I plan on doing. I'm certainly not saying it's easy, but it's better then deciding your life is over when you're only 23. There are so many kids already here who need loving homes--why not open your heart to them instead of being so insistant that the child have your DNA? At some point, you have to step back and look at your situation objectively--you are only 23, you have no idea what's going to happen in the future, and you've convinced yourself that if children can't come into your life the exact way you want them to, then you wouldn't want kids at all.

It's fine to wallow for a brief period of time, but there come's a point when it becomes self-pity.