Worst Date

LOL. Thanks for that story.

 

went the Pictures with a girl in Morocco ( more of a friend date ) it was a bollywood film with Arab subtitles the seats were like school benches about nine inches high and hard wood my arse was killing me after two hours , She seemed to enjoy it though and we went to dunkin doughnuts afterwards ! in hindsight it proby wasn't that bad

 

Impromptu man-dates the worst

Never had a bad date with a femme and some good impromptu ones

 

1994...my gf at the tie purposely brought me to a bar she knew her ex would be at....we had only bee seeing each other a month or so.....we were there with her brother,my cousin and some other people...the ex ended up getting hammered and became belligerent where upon my gf's brother punched him out....then another dude punched him out because he hadn't had enough yet

I really felt bad for the dude and should have never hung with that chick again....instead I had a kid with her and to this day she is a nutcase continually attempting to tell me what a douche I am via text messages and calls

 

Oh my goodness, a complete drama mama. Seen that before!

 

My worst date is was with my wife she did not stop talking we were at a dance. I did not give up because she was so sexy and had a fantastic figure.Our second date was so much better,I put my hands on her ass while dancing she told me that move was out of bounds at the moment. She was a great kisser she stuck her tongue down my throat,she was so horny

 

^wow she really lucked out, what a catch you are! I bet you're a terrific conversationalist

 

My worst date, hmm. Well, I would say it was with a guy like five years ago and we met at a Halloween party. I was dressed like witch, but with a sexy twist to the costume. Long black wig, pale make up, dramatic make up, black lipstick etc. Instant chemistry with a guy I met there and he asked me out. He was disappointed on the first date to see how different I looked. That was just a costume, I told him and he said would I consider dressing like that on occasion?

First and last date. How dare you.

 

And then you would share graphic details about your sex life on HF for years to come. Who would ever have thought that such a terrible date would benefit us all?

 

Should have met her daughter. The first time I went over to Belinda's house for dinner the little demon waited for her mom to go into the kitchen then purposely knocked the karaoke machine over. She looked straight at me when she did it. Then she pretended to start crying. Belinda runs in and picks her up, saying shit like 'it's ok, just a machine, blah blah blah.' The whole time her daughter is looking over her mom's shoulder smiling at me. It was actually kinda terrifying.

 

Yeah...red flags all over that one. I would have popped smoke and got the hell outta there at that point. Man, the shit we put up with. What's amazing is how many guys would actually stick around and cater to that shit.

 

When I was 16 my friend set me up with some guy. We went on a double date to dinner and bowling. He talked nonstop about all this shit his parents had just trying to impress me. Matching corvettes, snow mobiles, a vacation house in Colorado, etc. I spent most of the night rolling my eyes. 0 fucks were given on my part. I ended up bailing early because it was lame. He was stupid enough to ask for a 2nd date. I declined.

 

As far as the worst date. August 31, 1994.

 

Untold, never been heard before CC story:

I was about 17 at the time and had a new girlfriend. I wanted to take her out, but had no money because I was a devilish fiend. It was embarrassing because only a week before things weren't going bad financially (a lot of ups and downs in those days). Basically, I had to keep up the appearance that I wasn't totally broke at the time.

I planned a date at East Side Mario's (fuck, I want to die just thinking about this ... East Side fucking Mario's...) Anyway, I had to come up with about $100 for dinner + my usual amount for fun later that night.

I ended up ripping off a drug dealer and thought everything went without a hitch. We went to dinner and everything went well. Some fucking how, we didn't get ID'd and were able to order alcohol. Being the classy showman that I am, I decided to rack up an astonishingly large bill based off the beer alone. About 3 drinks in I realized I'd already surpassed the budget and had no way to pay for everything.

I started having a minor anxiety attack and only then understood how fucked I was. By the grace of our kind lord, this girl was a smoker. She went out for a cigarette, which was my cue to wait 3 minutes and pretend to pay the bill... Then jet the fuck out of there like my life depended on it.

All in all, I got to keep all of the money and spent it mostly on blow.

She never found out about any of this.

It was a nightmare come true. Fuck, the feeling of promising someone a good time, only to be a broke piece of shit and have to pull a stunt like that sure isn't good for the ego.

Looking back on it, it's hilarious...

Later that night she stood on an overpass and threatened to kill herself. I had to run back to my friends house and tell him to come help me calm her down. When I got into the basement (Jesus, I haven't mentally pictured that basement for years), nobody was there. There was a pile of blow on the table, so I quickly did a line, took a toke, then ran back to her.

I don't remember what happened after that... Sad.

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I'm almost certain I wrote about this night before, but didn't mention the dinner story... Hmm, maybe a dig into the ol' archives is necessary tomorrow.

 

My nuts are kind of heavy so I need a mate
So my homeboy's cousin set me up with a blind date
She said "Pick me up at three"
Can't bitch, the bus don't ride your street, ho
We gonna eat at Mexican Village
Take a cab and I'll pay the tab
And when she showed, well, I'll be damned
Left my wallet at home on the TV stand
Have her pay him and for dinner too
The knot in my sock, it done bit you
She's all prettied up for nothing
I'm smelling like shit and my chin is scruffing
And I'm chewing on my food like a pitbull
Cause I won't front for the ho
Stuck my face in a bowl of soup
And just sucked it all up threw my missin' tooth
The bitch jumped up with a boom
"I have to fix my hair" and broke to the bathroom
She's got the tab, so I go for mine
And order up some '52 vintage wine
Hey, Louie, bring a fuckin' steak with that
Motherfuckers like jail say fuck dat
She's back now and her hair ain't fixed
Probably took a long greasy-ass smelly shit
I ain't saying nothing though
I ain't saying nothing bout the funkin' ho
What's up bitch, I'm ready to break
How long can one fat bitch take?
Quite snacking and pay me saps
Cause we goin' home to meet her pops

 

is he still single?

or better yet, is his mom single now?

 

Fuck, I missed these scoldings.

 

I'm guessing he probably is. I don't even remember his name.

 

I was twelve. Give me a fucking break.

 

oh yeah, this one time there were these 3 hot drunk chicks i was driving back to my apartment suite. so when we got to my place i parked the rari and headed upstairs, but suddenly one of the chicks said she had to leave early cause her stupid boyfriend was on to her game. pffft.

we did the thing without her. it could have been a 4-some. :'(