Feudalism You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. Pure Socialism You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you all the milk you need. Bureaucratic Socialism Your cows are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the regulations say you should need. Fascism You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk. Pure Communism You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. Real World Communism You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need". Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation. Russian Communism You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the black market. Perestroika You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the Mafia takes all the milk. You steal back as much milk as you can and sell it on the "free" market. Cambodian Communism You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you. Militarianism You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you. Totalitarianism You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned. Pure Democracy You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk. Representative Democracy You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk. British Democracy You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything. Bureaucracy You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows. Pure Anarchy You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you. Pure Capitalism You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Capitalism You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral. Enviromentalism You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.
They don't, what would a vegan do with a cow? Hmmm okay I shall try... Vegan You have two cows, which you liberated from evil meat producing bastards. They are given names and live happily ever after, which you pontificate about their emotions/intelligence to the point where everyone sees the light or dismisses you as a 'PETA nut job'. (for the record I am vegetarian and have nothing against cows, vegans or anything else)
Ohh, I have one. Probably I'm going to get into trouble for this but oh well. American Democracy (under the current administration) You have two cows. A government subsidized megafarm takes both. You ask the government for aid. The government tells you that you still have both cows, are milking them everyday and are happier now than ever before.
REAL LIFE A person pays you to take care of their cows and you give the money back for some beef and a place to stay while they charge twice as much for your labor as they pay you. If you are really good at convincing people to take care of cows for less than the labor is worth, you can do the same thing.
