Working up the courage to have an experience after 1 1/2 years

Approximately 1 1/2 years ago I had a somewhat traumatizing experience with a foolishly strong dosage of Hawaiian Baby Woodrose that convinced me I was going to die for a period afterwards. (This was my first dosage of any psychedelic substance.) Of course, I learned a lot about myself in those months, even now I still am, from that "bad trip" (which, in reality, was greatly introspective and more valuable than a "feel good" experience would have been); you truly learn what you value, what has meaning, and things of that nature when you think you have no time left. If you're interested, you can take a look at my posts about it from a while ago (http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=462355&f=116 etc.).

I've decided I want to take a dosage of 5-7 fresh grams (and I do recognize that this is a microdosage, I will not make the same mistake twice) of Psilocybe cubensis mushrooms. I just... I cannot bring myself to do it, and I may not be able to take any psychedelics for the rest of my life (or quite a while) because of this. I have a few questions for you guys, although it's up to me as to whether I should do it, if I'm comfortable, when, etc. How do you personally get over a horrifically bad trip? Do I have anything to worry about with this low dosage I'm planning, given my past?

Thank you, so much. I would just like to say that HipForums played a great part in my "recovery" back to regularity from that dark place.

 

Hi good to see you around MindCB! Hope you've been well...

I've never tried fresh psilocybe mushrooms so I can't really comment in regards to dosing there. I'd recommend a half eighth (1.75) grams if you were to try Psilocybe cubensis dried.

Having not had a bad initial trip, it's difficult to say if there are certain aspects that may surface for you in which I didn't really have to face, as I had those positive prior experiences to draw upon if I most recently had a bad trip. Low doses can prompt some difficult issues to arise, it's not likely going to prompt a heavy existential crisis but it can be sort of uncomfortable in bringing up certain aspects of insecurities you may have. The advice I'll lend you is that each trip is it's own unique experience and it can vary quite a bit with psychedelics, give into the trip and be open minded about what it may elicit in the mind. Some trepidation going into a trip is fairly common for some, even those who have really good prior trips. Taking care of the set/setting is the best way to prepare for a trip.

 

Baby wood rose is an awful way to take LSA.... Like eating morning glory seeds.... Both are full of other alkaloids that can cause nasty effects.


Fast... Take 2 dry grams of shrooms and relax. Have some good tunes handy.

 

I'd had numerous traumatizing experiences with psychedelics, and with mushrooms in particular, before I had an experience horrific enough to quell my ingesting them any further. This came after well over a hundred individual trips with mushrooms alone over the course of a decade, occurred about four years ago and I've not taken any since. My interest in psychedelics remains and I've taken other chemicals (primarily DMT) but I've since lost both the nerve and the desire to take mushrooms. And yet they remain my favorite, and have served as catalysts to the most profound insights and beatific visions. Peculiar?

The experience which uprooted me was an elaboration on an existential basis to a purely ontological hypostasis, from vivacious derangement to agonizing brutality. I do want to stress however that this was, again after many, many wondrous mystical experiences, and it also came with personal growth into foreign personal territories. I realize only now what a foolish epigone I'd been; the myth has since become dwindled down from an opaque obscurity into a diaphanous filament strung along the extremities of my consciousness as so much leftover holiday decor, a skeleton of faith in hope and the merits of human endeavor, as it were. I was not then so beaten down into a submissive melancholia, and my senses (especially of the interwoven fabrics of consciousness, of mind) were blunted, in part due to heavy overexposure to drugs coupled with the effervescent naivete of youth. That electrifying episode gave me pause to recuperate and analyse years of collected datum, which proved to yield a sobering accounting of my histrionics and redundant epilepsies.

However, there was a core 'some-thing' which continues to elude the felicity of my lexicon, and so I retain the (at times desperate) belief that psychedelics are beneficial to man, if for no other reason than to reveal the intrinsic fallacy of a reality grounded in linguistics, of unraveling the illusory psycho-social reactionary components which constitute our presumed personalities. Once you understand what it feels like to 'die', OP, your views are radically altered to the point where you can safely assume to have received the deepest teaching psychedelics offer, the rest appear to be flitting phantasms coming and going against a vacuous mirage by comparison. But they remain interesting, and to have your entire bearings and sense of reality tweaked in the raw involves a reprogramming that cannot be bought in a therapists office, or in a temple. I'd suggest weighing the balance internally, on point of value; are you decided you are willing to embrace fear in order to endure epiphany? In my opinion, it's well worth the expenditure.. for a while. Good luck to you, and may you find what you are looking for.

 

Maybe just go very slow. The active chemical (Psilocybin) can of course be taken in in varying amounts. So... go easy!

 

I think you shouldn't but thats just me. Atleast wait a few more months or even years until you know your ready.

 

Thank you all for the wonderful wisdom, I'm going to wait for some time until I feel I'm ready. There's no reason at all to rush

Absolutely, when I feel the time has come I'm not going to dive into it, I'll edge into it. Just for sake of knowledge & betterment of understanding (not to correct you at all, it's just nice to know if you don't already) psilocybin isn't an active constituent of the Psilocybe cubensis (or any other Psilocybe genus mushroom, and of course there are other active analogs, just not predominantly, such as baeocystin) but rather psilocybin is a prodrug that is dephosphorylated into the active psilocin.

If anybody else has advice, I would be thrilled to hear it

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No reason to rush is right. Take your time. When you feel your ready to have an experience again keep your dose low and build your way up to a more comfortable trip. Maybe have someone with you this time if you feel things are getting dark.
Either way enjoy the psilly cibin ! I'm sure you'll have a much more positive experience this time!

Also the way i get over bad trips is to take a break from the substance that caused me grief. Take a while to get into a positive head space, eat healthy, do positive things in life. Then when im ready I have a new psychedelic trip (low-medium dose) which almost always opens my eyes to everything and brings me out of the dark. Also maybe have some cannabis if that helps you relax.

Peace & Love MindCB

 

ye man, never take anything if you have doubts. just the fact that your questioning whether you should take it or not means your not fully ready. you dont want to go on a trip with any negative or fearful thoughts. Try meditation, it can really help. Maybe start meditating for a few months and then see how you feel.