Wondering If I Should Keep It Alive Or Move On

So I’m a 26 year old male and I'm dating a 26 year old female.

We've been dating for exactly 5 years. I've been having trouble with not being happy with where my life is with her.

So a little about myself, I own a small repair shop, I'm currently still paying on a house that my brother and dad live in near my shop. She lives exactly 20 miles from my shop.

The reason being is because she has horses and so she's got to be out in the country. I'm a highly active person and usually after work I want to go ride mtn bikes, dirt bikes, go snowboarding, or just go have beers with friends.

She calls me every day right when I get off work to see what I’m doing. Every time I get a call she makes me feel bad that I want to go do those things that I did before I met her.
She kind of hints that she wants me home by sighing.

Now this might sound selfish? Like why can’t she come with you and enjoy it too?

I'll take you back to when we met, for the 1st two years I'd tried everything to get her to come with me or come watch. She would only come watch races and take pictures which was great.
That started to fade as time went on though. It was to the point where she didn’t come to any events.

We've broke up over this temporally 3 times over 5 years. Every time she tells me that she'll change and she'll be more outgoing.
Well every time it lasts for like 2 to 4 months then right back to the same routine.
It's so bad that she won't even try new food places with me that are out of her comfort zone.

So now you got me, a highly active social guy and it's like she's trying to tame me into being a house body. I drive a half hour there after work and a half hour to work every day because she refuses to stay in my house.
My house being close to all my friends, to all the recreationally activity’s that I love doing. I'm finding my "me" time getting smaller by the day and it's like she doesn't listen to me.

I do love this girl but I can't keep living this way especially since this is not new news to her.
Three months ago even the sex started to go from every other day to once every 2 weeks. I have even gave her the benefit of the doubt thinking maybe her work is stressing her out and making her to tired.

This whole situation has made me start drinking every night on my way home to zone out how I feel.
But last week it hit me like a brick that I just want to be done with it to get out from being so unhappy with my life. So I moved all my things out and back into my house when she was at work. She called me balling her eyes out saying that she didn't know that I was so unhappy. I asked her how is that possible? We've broke up 3 times over the same thing, it's not new news.

Now she's begging me to give her another chance and I really don't want to hurt her.
To go back a little she's amazing when it comes to getting things done for me. She's a great cook, great at keeping a house clean, clothes wash ext. I know she has worked really hard for me over the past 5 years. I just don't think she'll change to be more outgoing. It's really not right for me to ask her to change.
Just wondering if anyone else has had a similar situation or if I could get some outside perspective on what I should do. Thanks!

(Mod team added breaks for reading clarity)

 

Kind of. In the beginning with Stan, he wanted me to go to all of his baseball games. For me, that was worse than watching grass grow , as I do not enjoy watching sports....but I went and video'd him playing and was a good sport about it.....and now, he goes by himself......many times a week, and i am happy he has that and can do that without me there...
I go for the tournament to Cape Cod every year, still,though....as i like doing other things there and will go to the big game, too.

She should not begrudge you doing what you love to do...you cannot keep someone locked up in a cage.

 

You can love someone and also recognize that they arent right for you.

The drinking to numb how miserable you are is a red flag, you should really run not walk out of that relationship because it won't get better

 

Things that are bad usually do get worse in the long run....Weigh the positives against the negatives to anything....negatives won....yes, run away!
If something does not make you happy, it probably never will.

 

You're in a very similar situation that me and my recent ex were in. I mean very similar.
When we first started seeing each other it was amazing. We had so much in common. But then I figured out that she either changed, or just lied about certain things in the beginning.
At any rate, I will tell you what I learned. If you really love her then stick it out and communicate clearly. Sacrifice is just part of being committed to a serious relationship. And I had to learn that the hard way. Wish I'd have made the little sacrifices to make her happy. It's just the reality of being in a good relationship. Pay attention to the little things that make a difference. It's very rare to find a partner who you have tons in common with. So make the best of what you have. At least you'll have each orher. And in the long run, it makes your love stronger. I just wish I would have figured this stuff out before it was too late. But like I said, I had to figure it out the hard way. Just talk to her. Try to work it out. Because the old saying is true. You don't know what you have until it's gone.
But If she still puts you down for doing the things you love doing, and is not willing to make the sacrifice, then you know it probably will never work out. It works two ways. Sound like you've been patient and understanding. Just have a long conversation with her. I'd say give it one more go. Explain to her that you are who you are and she needs to accept that. Hope all works out for you man.

 

Or.....the drinking has nothing to do with her, and he's just making excuses so he can rationalize actually being alone, not with his friends,and getting drunk

She's 26, no babies, he hasnt put a ring on it yet - whats to work out?

 

Thanks Man! I needed that! I kind of have a feeling that it's going to be the same as last time. She'll promise to work on it and will be really good about it for 4 months and it will go right back to the same. I really don't need her to be at my events I just want to feel supported in doing them. She promises to change but for some reason I don't believe her. I'll just take it day by day, my main fear is wasting more time.

 

It isn't really fair to expect someone to change though

 

I agree...if someone is not extroverted and wants to be housebound.....accept that, too...just like you want her to accept and support the things that you want to do.....You have to talk seriously with her....and don't sneak out when she is not looking...Kind of a low shaky move that would have hurt me, as well.

 

Not to change one another, but to work with each other. Nobody has to change. Just support each other. Which takes small sacrifices and understandings. And that's a necessity for a good relationship. For those interested in a committed relationship of course.

 

To be clear, Stan is fun to watch play ball....He is good at it....I appreciate his passion for what he likes to do....Is probably why he manages two teams....I am busy here with a million animals...and keeping things running smoothly, usually....as that is what I like to do....and like I said....I am always interested in how any game went....ect....I don't want to get up at 7 am to go, either, after staying up until at least 4 am always, , anyway....