Women think (and act) with their penis alot more than men actually.

No it's not the end of the story. Most communication is nonverbal, not verbal.

And almost everybody understands the purpose of sarcasm. Most use sarcasm as a joke, but women from my observations use sarcasm defensively especially to get away from what they perceive is a red flag or dangerous situation.
(Nice guys are sometimes too clingy and turn up the seriousness of a relationship too soon)
And the great escape might be from a first impression, a good starting relationship she was into that went south.

And women disappear sometimes simply because its upsetting emotionally for them to end a relationship for logical reasons because her irrational feelings tell her to stay and work it out.

Now I'm not saying women can't be nefarious cause they certainly can but in those cases they're shallow or sociopaths.

---
Now from a bad boy's perspective barring looks and wealth which can be significant factors in getting laid or in a serious relationship, they watch and seek opportunities and have success because they notice patterns of behavior and are great at improvising...which is a resourceful skill and comes across as appealing.

And contrary to popular belief smooth players aren't always successful they just appear that way because they know when to fold and know how to invest emotional chips that might payout years later.

The upside is it works for getting laid, the downside is that it can work against you if the girl doesn't like your little black book for a long term relationship.

Of course the other guys on the outside don't see the subtle more intimate problems players face when looking for serious relationships, they just see the surface of a guy with women around him.

 

Well yeah, I was suprised at that too but monkjr pointed it out well. Let me just emphasize on that then

Everything is communication, even when you are not saying a word or looking the other way you are still communicating! Nonverbal communication is at least as important in a first impression as what you say.
(I can also see that perhaps being shallow or judging on looks at first impression is confused with these nonverbal forms of communication, especially of course if you yourself are not aware what you are subconsciously communicating).

 

I also want to make a connection for the guys out there about how women tend to think intuitively which appears illogical to us men. But men do it too, when you anticipate someone faking you out in game of basketball, there's not too much logic to make that conclusion but you attempt to compensate and sometimes you're wrong.

And honestly I will say I think its unhealthy for a relationship to subscribe to the motto " the women is always right" I think men should raise a red flag on any girl who doesn't sincerely apologize in a relationship.

But women are always on guard with that radar on so they can compensate for 1. The best mate 2. The best split second decision a mom would have to make for her family's safety.

It just how their brain is wired differently. But it's not irrational, there's a method to the perceived madness. And if a man is wise he'll know how to compensate aka: "pick your battles"

And here lies the fine line of being a whipped man, or an = partner.

 

Great...that was the other point I was about to make.

Intuition vs. Logic. Sometimes either way can steer you wrong too, but women are by nature more adept at using their intuition. This is a way in which I would say there is a legitimate difference between men and women.

And I agree with a woman who doesn't apologize is feeding into a flawed gender standard that women are either the victim or entitled to special treatment and acknowledgement in the relationship...aka spoiled. No offense to anyone, but I've seen a good many threads in this forum in which the woman was on top for no other reason other than that both partners were feeding into this idea. Of course I've seen it the other way around as well, but people are quicker to assume the man is in the wrong and to side with the woman in these situations.

 

Woman don't always want to be right or alpha. We want to engage men. It helps to measure they care, they think, they want, they need. Submission is men's reaction. They set a precedent. What we want is strong and confident and articulate and caring.

 

I'm tempted to start a thread about asshole men, about how the whole gender sucks simply because I had the bad taste to date a few assholes in my day. About how men only care about sex. How men most definitely play games because the one time I've been dumped in my life it was the one time I was upfront about how I felt and didn't try to hold back my feelings. I'll be sure to point out that I see men perpetually whining in here because they want a woman to pursue them for a change, yet anytime a woman actually chases a man it scares him off.

I could start a thread like this except I realize these things are based on my particular life experiences and even then I understand that the men I've dated are not only men but humans subject to the human experience. Those assholes I've dated? They aren't assholes because they have dicks. They're assholes because at some point life hurt them and they're defensive. The guy that went screaming the other way when I didn't waste time on games? Simply didn't want a relationship.

You guys would get a lot further with women if you could learn to view women as people with feelings and personality-shaping life experiences and natural defenses instead of bodies with holes and breasts, bodies that are always supposed to respond positively to your advances.

Generalizations make people sound thoughtless and ignorant.

 

I thought about doing that too and making it as tongue and cheek as possible, but I realized it'd be too much work and maybe we can actual make something worthwhile out of this thread...no disrespect to the OP, but there are some more accurate and balanced information being shared here.

 

Generalizations are often rooted in subjective observations. It's relatively easy to recognize that, and therefore it does not result in me being defensive when I read them. It's evident people are angry, or hurt, or bitter about an experience(s). What they are really doing is wanting someone to empathize and the best case scenario is that they get validated.

 

A long time ago, when I was active in church, the minister told me that I had Penis Envy.

That was the last thing I expected to hear a minister say to me. :rofl:

 

So if, for example, a person worked at a gas station and got robbed by a black man then started a thread about how all black people are thieves, it's best if we all validate that?

Gender bias is the last socially acceptable bias but that doesn't make it correct.

 

Back when the whole man-woman thing was important in my life and I was actually good looking and got attention from women--I spent too much time thinking women were special---OTHER,as it were-- and much differant from men. Physically-yes. Mentally-somewhat. Now I see that women are just people like me. Good,bad,stupid,smart,caring,uncaring,devious,open ,honest,dishonest----. The interactions between the sexes have been the same forever with the same complications,I'd wager. I,frankly have always liked women better than men,but I wish I had paid more attention to the "signs" of sexual attraction. (exept now I'm old and it doesn't matter). There's nothing new under the sun.

 

A huge mix of this, and a mix of maybe I'm pegging people (women in this case) wrong and I need to give them a chance to show some value, even if they're shy, or can't be direct all the time. I do meet some that show interest now and then. Just, none that I felt spectacular about.
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To Melia,

If you're hypothetical thread said:

- all [young] men want is sex
- men are likely to cheat if presented with a hot chance
- men don't pick up on clues
- men are lazy
- men only care about looks
- most men aren't romantic and they're simple

etc. etc. I don't think a lot of us would argue with you. Notice I did NOT say varying personality traits like all women talk on the phone for 45 minutes, or all women bitch about things 24/7. I was very careful to pick attributes that are true to the core of femininity, at least in this modern world.

I even SAID a lot of this behavior only applies to attractive women who abuse the sytem. So Melia, no, I don't think you're completely right on this.

 

No, I'm not saying that. The OP complained about women in general think with their "penis". We don't validate the generalization. However, it's very valid that they be hurt. It's the feelings that needs to be recognized. Unfortunately, people are so quick to be defensive and insert themselves into the equation, that they can't even be gracious toward an OP.

 

If I said all those things, I would want to argue with myself. I don't think those attributes apply to all men or most men, but they do apply to shitty men.

Likewise I dont find the attributes of women you listed to be true of all women or even most women, but to women who are lost, confused, shallow, or just simply shitty people.

I'm sorry you haven't met enough good women to leave a positive impression on you

 

E

Yeah and like I said before it's a very fine line and guys don't always know when they've crossed the line and are whipped giving their gf or wife more control in the relationship.

Then I think this is where the resentment starts and you get the origins of women bashing.

I also want to add that power shifts too if the women is the one bringing in the $ and the man is out of a job.

Here is a genuine flaw that is valid but is circumstantial because the global economy sucks.

1. Men and women assign laziness to not having a job, which isn't always true.

2. Emotional problems from work kill the mood for some women, and this emotional spillover happens less with men in my experience. Affecting the sex life where it should be guarded as sacred. And men can resent this since in their head over the long term because they do the housework and don't see why they don't get the positive gf or wife...and if they find cheating happening they blow.
In this same situation the women can't understand why her man wants sex when she gets home from a bad day or trend at work and gets frustrated by him expecting her mood to be ready because to flip that emotional switch feels like WORK not recreation which is what sex is supposed to be.

The grain of truth here is that for women who work, don't let work stress affect the bedroom because it'll cause more stress personally) instead I recommend verbalizing how bad your day was and let the man listen, then foreplay>sex.
Not all couples do this balance well and partly because the stress won't end until a new job is found.

Also house wives who feel entitled to spend their husband's $ need to STOP and be aware of the financial rutt this entire country is. This will offend some but I feel $ primarily is about #'s and logic making the family budget a man's specialty.
I recommend men giving their wife $300 a month, and that wife should use $200 for a family expenses and needs and can save the remaining $100 for her leisure.

 

The term submit in the context of male female relationships probably originates from the bible and Christianity, which how they taught it meant slave in meaning back then. I think more modern Christianity has it right though saying wife is a helper and partner, not a slave.

And somehow men a century ago told women they "couldn't" do this and that. I think that was the catalyst that sparked the feminism movement. Also I should point out the bible never said "couldn't" but men and media of that era kept saying the faith did abstractly mean that. >.<
i Think what submit means, is more of a wife being humble to her husband's stress, but not a servant. There's a reason the bible makes clear distinctions between a slave and a wife in the Old Testament, and I think USA screwed it up in understanding for 2 centuries that unfortunately affected law.

 

I believe in gender roles in the sense that each gender tends to be specialized in certain tasks. But its by no means a set rule, and its now acknowledged that guys do cry hence its weakness to do so.

But science supports this to when they've analyzed the differences between male and female brain structure. Also proving why rigid gender roles as a way of thinking in society don't work. The left and right brains share information and thus a person of any gender is not biologically locked down to certain tasks...just specialized.

 

I do want to raise the notion that I think the rate of both genders who are lost and shallow, women especially given how pop culture defines their values seems to be increasing and tied to materials.
Reasons:
1. Bad parenting, MTV raising our kids
2. Increase of single parent homes
3. Youth having the internet over exposing themselves at impressionable ages (porn stereotypes for example, beauty standards in general among girls.

And I should say the marketing group "tweens" wasn't around a year ago.

So when I see men complaining about bad woman after bad woman until they get jaded, I think they only noticing half the problem...because you girls deal with the other half of jerk men from the same generation.

Each generation of kids are being raised more and more insecurity and its showing. And good stable people can't find good partners at sometimes no fault of their own.

 

a better comparison would be if a person got robbed by every black person they had ever met..

 

I find this interesting because in the cases I've seen when the women make the money...the men don't do housework and clean...they literally are lazy...doing nothing but playing video games in a lot of cases.

I know there are different situations all over the globe, but I wonder if you have seen this trend, because I've seen it so much it is disturbing.

As for the money situation... again I haven't seen a lot of situations where the men are responsible for money and have seen women doing a great job of caring for the money in a relationship...I think it probably depends on personality. As a Capricorn, I'm very good with money...being with a Leo man was not good to have him in control of the cash flow.

Also I don't know how anyone can spend $300 on family expenses per month...but I tried giving my ex $100 to spend for himself during our relationship and I took care of the rest.