Women...so Confusing!

Yes, imho, you need a game plan.


It would be helpful if you could describe how it is that you go after girls now.

 

hell, i don't really even know. i think it varies depending on who she is. basically just talk to them, try to make some jokes, maybe throw a little touching in there, find out they have a boyfriend or just aren't interested, and go home to masturbate.

 

Do you succeed in making them laugh? How do they indicate that they are not interested?

 

laugh: more often than not i guess.

interest: any number of ways. i guess top two are the transparent excuse, and the oh-by-the-way-this-is-my-boyfriend-that-i-didn't-mention-until-now.

 

You mean like, "Sorry, I'm actually completely permeable to light and therefor invisible. There's no way we could see each other".

And yes, girls sometimes pretend to have boyfriend's in order to brush off advances, though sometimes they actually do have boyfriends.

What kind of relationship are you looking for primarily? I'm guessing that LTR would be your top pick.

 

Yeah.... that sounds creepy as hell. It might not be in real life but don't throw any "touching" in anywhere dude.

 

i used to have a friend who reminds me of undies. He was smart, hilarious, always ready with a quick witted one liner but he was just always in that nice guy friend zone for most girls. Its hard to put my finger on why. He wasn't bad looking, just kind of nerdy and unassuming. I think he just lacked that masculine je ne sai quoi. It was something in the way he carried himself, he wasn't really timid but didn't have that sexy self assuredness some guys put off.

I dont really have a clue if that's the case with undies, just sharing some personal experience

 

Or.......its far more simpler, they think he doesnt have enough money yet. And he's too smart to hand over a bunch of money to a girl thats at least acting like him touching her is creepy. For if touching her arm is creepy, well she is never going to put out

 

i've always been told that physical contact is supposed to be part of flirting? not like you walk up and grab their vagina, but an occasional hand on the arm or something. and from what i've witnessed, some physical contact does seem to be the norm.

yeah, i always strike out with the invisible women. but seriously, i don't actually remember what examples i had in mind when i typed that, but there were a couple that i was thinking of. i'll post it if they come to me again.

it's usually pretty easy to find out if they actually have boyfriends. i've been living in small towns for a while now, so it's not like i'm out hitting on strangers at the club; these are girls that i probably already know to an extent, and will see again, and whose friends i may know. and they always actually do have boyfriends, or at least guys that they're also talking to who end up winning out over me.

yes, LTR would be ideal. hitting on women is hard; if i do it successfully i want to enjoy the results for as long as possible before having to start trying again.

 

This is one of the things I was going to mention. While touching certainly conveys interest, it's way to forward for most girls when you've just met them. Especially if by touching you mean putting your hand down her pants ( if she touches you during a conversation, or "accidentally" if you haven't met, that's a pretty clear sign of her interest)

Mastering basic flirting technique will likely give you better results.

You probably already know the basic flirting behaviors that females engage in, but it's worth mentioning just to make sure. Something hair related is the most common. Touching, brushing back, or tossing the hair is a sign of interest. Twisting a lock of hair or any persitent hair touching is a sign of stronger interest. Wetting or licking of the lips, or applying make-up, especially lip stick are also signs. There are a number of other common signs, but anything hair or lip related, or giving you opportunities to check her out are a few of the big ones.

The challenge for you in flirting is to communicate your interest while not being too aggressive. Men communicate interest primarily by looking, but a heavy stare is usually too aggressive and off-putting.

One techinique is to look near, rather than directly at, the female you are interested in. Try imaging a triangle with sides about 2 feet long, with the apex pointed down, about a couple feet from her head and within her field of vision. Try moving your eyes around that triangle, not too slow, not too fast. The general idea is that you are trying to convey that you are interested, but also giving her some spacing, letting her feel relaxed. You're sending her a polite invitation to flirt, and giving her room to decide if she wants to accept or not. You don't have to keep your eyes going around the triangle constantly, maybe just a couple times around and then break it off. Then go back to it again.

After two or three times doing this, you should get some sort of response. Crossed arms, a scowl, looking away, and your invitation has been refused. Hair touching, applying some lipstick, a few glances thrown your way, and your invitation has been accepted.

She may want to keep it at casual flirting, but if she is showing stronger flirting signs, she may be ready for you to approach her. The next step is to try to make eye contact, and if succeed, then smile. You can then try to start a conversation.

(pretty much all of this techinque I'm describing is coming from a book called "flirting 101", which you may want to refer to. and yes, the technique does work)

 

lol I was going to ask if it was from some kind of pick up manual. But I guess its not horrible advice

 

^ I guess pick-up artists rightly have a bad name, since the idea seems to be to manipulate and use females.

Techiniques to help connect with someone who wants to connect with you without manipulating or deceiving them are good though, imho.

 

agreed!

 

The hard or easy issue aside, is LTR what you really want?

The small town thing is probably what is killing you. Everyone knows each other in small towns, and very many of them talk some sort of shit about other people behind their backs.

You've got some kind of reputation now, whether you know it or not. And it's probably "The guy who tries to hit on girls but gets rejected. The guy who hasn't been laid for years and just jerks off". Maybe that's not all there is to your public image in the town, but it's probably part of it.

Females are generally very sensitive to their public image, especially to criticism about their choices in sexual partners. Even if there is a girl in the town who is really into you, if you've got a bad rap, there's a good chance that you'll never connect.

Unless you hear that some girl in town is really into you, or you feel like taking a swing even if you strike out, I strongly recommend that you search elsewhere.

 

yeah, i could really go either way at this point but ultimately i'm more interested in LTR.

 

I guess if it is a girl you already know and are friends with this could be alright. If a guy was talking to me in a bar though and he put his hand on my arm before I knew him well I think I would leave, as would a lot of my friends. The brushing your arm against theirs by accident move is alright I guess though.

 

Nudge nudge, wink wink

 

yeah, like i said in another post, small town here so it's not like i'm hitting on strangers in a bar or anything. even when i lived in the city i didn't hit on strangers in the bar, because i never really get interested in anyone until i've already talked to them at least a few times.

you wish...

 

Well that sounds acceptable then.

 

Then you'd be Iwokeupnotinmyundieshelp