Women lose interest in sex after a year, unless they keep talking...

IT takes just one year for couples to lose passion in their relationship - but you can talk your way out of it.

A study of more than 10,000 people­ found women's interest in sex tends to die down after a year living with the same partner when sexual apathy among women quadruples.

The British National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles reveal 34 percent of women and 15 percent of men lack interest in sex.

And while desire among women declines significantly with age, male sex drive fell far more gradually - men tend to stay interested well into their 70s.

University of Glasgow senior ­research fellow Dr Kirstin Mitchell said her research showed both men and women who found it easy to talk about sex with their partner tended to have a better sex life.

"The findings ... emphasise the importance of providing a broad sexual and relationships education rather than limiting attention only to adverse consequences of sex and how to prevent them," Dr Mitchell said.

Sydney-based sex and relationship therapist Cyndi Darnell said desire can evaporate if a relationship is only based on lust but the long-term sexual­ desire was more complicated.

"Lust is only one reason people have sex … the reasons people have sex is because they feel obliged to because it's the glue for the relationship, the partner wants it and occasionally it's because they're horny," she said.

Zanna and Casey Facts, 26 and 27, have been together for nearly seven years and married for two years next month.

Both have always been very attracted to one other and say passion is all about confidence.

"When you're feeling confident and good about yourself, then the relationship and your love life stay exciting," Mrs Faets said.

"And you make sex a priority, especially on your date nights. Or spice up the relationship with nice lingerie. When you're not doing things for each other, you lose the spark."

Having maintained their relationship well beyond one year, they have no concern about the "seven-year itch" because they are also best friends.

"We have a lot in common in terms of goals, businesses and outlook on life. We still have so much fun together," Mrs Faets said.

 

Or maybe its just about hormones, and they have absolutely no idea if its about confidence, absolutely no idea if they have more or less confidence than other couples

 

Ops web site vanilla... Go see lol

 

I dont see any link

 

Whenever I read ''make sex a priority'' ...I think to myself that these are marriages that I don't want mine to become. I don't want sex to be on a calendar, or we have to talk it over to make sure we're doing it, or it's scheduled, etc. I get what that article is trying to say, but I always want it to be spontaneous, and fun...passionate...sexy. Not some task that's on the to do list because we've been married for 'x' number of years, someday. If you have to schedule sex or ''make time for it,'' then you've lost something with your partner...chemistry, or something. What is interesting to note, are people who have affairs tend to ''make time'' for the affair partner, but they weren't making time for their spouse, which leads me to think that it has to do with a loss of chemistry, and not a ''time management'' issue. Once chemistry is lost, I don't think you can really do much to make up for that gap. That's just how I see it.

 

As a senior couple, we understand each other's moods very well. I am 5 years older than my wife and my sex drive is still very high. Hers lags a little. We enhance that with testosterone therapy for her and I also take testosterone shots. What we do is not for everybody but, we put intercourse very high in our relationship. We use passion, lust, love and the desire to use sex for our individual health. So we use sex equally for our health and relationship. She knows when I need to cum and I know when she needs an orgasm. Sex is healthy.

 

One other thing. It does take committed work between two people to keep your sexual relationship strong to endure the years. As I said, what we do is not for everyone but it has worked for us for nearly 18 years.

 

It's on their profile page

 

....or...its the testosterone shots

 

For me the sex got better after year one. :sifone:

 

I have to take the testosterone shots because of a cancer scare many years ago. This is something that my wife understands about my sex drive and mood. It is prescribed and closely monitored. She knows when I need to get some relief. We compliment each other's sex drive. We give each other pleasure by oral, hand and intercourse. She also like the keep the blood flowing to her vigina for her health.

 

i didn't read the OP, but the title is confusing. i will agree that most women older than one year have no interest in sex, but they never stop talking...

 

Drmminmama, talking about sex "is"a priority between my wife and I.

 

I find sex gets better as a relationship goes on. Takes at least a year to get wired in to what you and your partner want sexually.

First year is like pre-season. Doesn't even count.

 

We were discussing marriage briefly in my Cultural Anthropology class and the topic of love came up. The professor says that the emotions that people consider "love" are temporary. Those feelings, such as wanting to see the person when you are away from them and several other examples, go away after about 8 months. After that, all that remains is compatibility and the ability to work together in a relationship.

I haven't found myself in "love" in many years, something I'm not thrilled about, but that's life. I think that you and she are talking about the same sort of thing.

 

Actually no, because what your professor said breaks my heart. I'm old fashioned and a sucker for romance. I mean, I understand her argument, her stance, but I that doesn't rule out that some couples are in love. There's stories of people married 75 years. One day, one of them dies, and then, shortly thereafter, the other one goes. Maybe it's coincidence, but I have to believe there is more to life and love than coincidence and compatibility.

 

I'm male but love aside, I think it's fine to lose interest in sex. I have pretty much given up on it. It's too much and over the top to be asking females to go to dinner and entertain them and establish relations all with the hopes of getting in their pants. I don't know... Did I grow out of it? I suppose I miss the wild throes of passion, but I am too old for the dating pool now.

 

Both talking and anything that you know will get your partner in the mood, however small it may seem. Jane tends to leave my clothes on the bed for when I change after work and when I get home and find my leather shorts left out, I know exactly what she has in mind after dinner. LOL.

 

we rarely talk about sex but have had sex everyday for the first 25 years of marriage.