Women and their games

This will be the third or fourth quote of yours I'm gonna steal for use in the real world.

 

I'm hopeless myself when it comes to women but even I know there is nice and then there is "nice".
You probably have a scarcity-mentality and make yourself too available like you said. There is no sense of urgency or excitement. She's thinking "oh I can see him whenever I want, he will do anything for me" so of course she never wants to see you. It's not attractive.
I'm not saying you should intentionally be a dick, but you shouldn't follow her around like a servant either. Just treat her like an average person and that's good enough.

Also, like other people are saying, if you are being nice just because you want something from her, she can tell. Women are not stupid, they know exactly what you are doing and they think it's creepy. (And it is).
Instead, if you are nice just because you are a fun, carefree guy, you'll have that vibe, people will naturally want to be around you, and this wouldn't be a problem.

 

the point I was trying to make.

what I think most : if you're thinking too much about something, just stop. roll with the punches, go with the flow. I promise you, there are tons of women out there for you. ones you probably have met, and ones you have yet to meet. just take life as it comes, don't be too nice, don't be too much of a dickhead, don't make yourself too available, and don't make yourself impossible to reach. find a good blend of it all, and most importantly, don't try to find a girl, try to find a girl that will make you happy.

you are a charming, smart, funny guy. a girl would be lucky to have you, you just haven't met the right girl yet. keep your head it. and remember, the grass is always greener. sometimes I would give anything to be single again.

 

No, they just get tired of being ugly

A short (US) ton is 2000 pounds, so you are saying there are thousands of pounds of woman out there for him?

 

I'm met some scummy people of either sex. Now some main are motivated purely by vanity. And some women too. If a guy behaves like a gimp towards a woman, he'll be treated like one... by some women. They will think "great, he is an idiot, a bitch, I can capitalise on this and milk it as much as I want".

Now if a guy isn't manipulatable, this woman *may* think "wow he is at the edge of what I can get, very likely above my league, maybe if appear charming, I can sneak above my league a bit and benefit". So the guy is rewarded for not being her bitch, and setting/redressing the rules for any balance of power.

However, things will get sour again, if she realises she truly has no chance of benefiting from him in any way. She may run away from him, or be uneasy because of the feeling that he "lowers her perceived status in society". So this may result in hostile exchanges eg she will say that he "loves himself" or is a "pretty boy" etc etc.

Ofcourse men attempt insincerity/impropriety with women too. But the dynamic is usually of a different format.

Personally, I think I can detect insincere people pretty quickly, but I have som etimes given them a chance. But anyone u need to play these bizarre "competition games" with really isn't worth the time of day. A girl with values is worth a billion times a slippery, attention seeking and duplicitous one.

The concept of karma is quite illustrative in it all, I think. Not nec very short term, but more likely over time.

 

This seems a valid comparison and it may be right for the topic discussed but as a chess player I have to point that in chess you never win by quitting a game :bobby:

 

As a chess player I have to say that chess is much more complicated than women.

 

Depends on the opponent

 

Pressed_Rat

You have not articulated the particular circumstances of the relationship you have had with woman A, B or C - that helps anybody determine what games, if any, are being played. That would help.

It seems to me, based on what you do say, is that you seem to be attracted to a woman, and then expect that women to be attracted to you.
You seem to be physically attracted to a woman, rather than trying to find out what that woman is like first - then determining if that woman is suited to you, and if that woman is attracted to you.
A woman can't play games with you if you know what type of woman she is first.
I do appreciate that is difficult to determine.
It is also difficult to turn off emotions if you are attracted to a woman before you know what type of woman she is.

This isn't a totally impossible mission, because, obviously, men and women find each other on a daily basis, and live loving and rewarding lives.

This seems to be an issue with you, as much as it is with women in general.

I think the advice to travel is a good one, because it might alter the thought patterns you have.
It may also alter who you are as a person.
Lodog, seems to have tried to 'fit in', and this produced amazing results - but he wasn't happy with being all things to all people.
It didn't, ultimately, make him a happy person.
So, I think 'fitting in' is important - a skill I think you may lack - but being genuine is also a trait that should not be lost.
Clearly, at the moment, what ever you are doing isn't working.
For this, you seem to be placing most of the blame on women.
It could, indeed, be you.

How do you deal with a woman that is attracted to you but you are not attracted to her?
Do you immediately shut her down, or do you try and let her down gently?
Is that a game?

Perhaps the fault lies in not being attracted to those that are attracted to you, and being attracted to those that are unsuitable.
It is also the case that not all the women you are attracted to will be attracted to you.
This 'nice guy' mentality might be an issue too - perhaps try and be you (warts and all) .

If nothing works - perhaps buy a cat or a dog.

 

I know how you feel, OP. I used to be the same way, assuming that maybe women were just terrible and manipulative. Then I realized something. I realized that I was the only one who thought that way. So, the problem wasn't with women -- it's with me. And maybe with you, too. We're defective. We're the portion of the population who won't get to reproduce and spread our genes to the next generation.

But really, who cares? Why does it matter in the long run? Just focus on improving yourself and trying to stop being beta (I know most people hate that term, but it has some validity here).

 

Dude. With shoulders like yours, I'm shocked you aren't swarmed with lady folk.

 

Let the record show that I didn't bring it up this time!

 

I would not call it defective more than being really stubborn might seem defective. To some it seems like one is 'breaking his own windows' so to speak but in essence it is sticking to your own principles. Except the principles and bad experiences may cloud the perception.
What is clear to me as well is that this game takes to sides to 'play' so if men would not play along and hit so much on the ladies in the way Rat and others portray as women games there would not be so much women feel like it is the normal and only way to go. I find it quite suprising to be honest that some people that seem rather sensible turn this issue in to a mainly one gender thing.

 

No matter what, be immune, indifferent to the behavior of others, and press on if you like her/him. That's the most genuine, the most attractive, the most nongame-playing.

 

for what it's worth, I would love to see a video of these two. And a video of a dude being a dick. I'm also lead to think there's a lot of "nice carefree guys" who are lead to believe they're giving 'nice creeper guy vibes,' -- being insecure about it sure doesn't help -- but tis prolly not true, & you're just not big pimping it for other reasons. Standards too high. Don't have a fake confident mask. Expecting women to be cordial then finding out they're likely more selfish than you mr. nice guy. etc.


But ain't it crazy there's so many reasonable attractive men admitting to struggling with women? A man has to create a relationship from nothing. A man has to make it so we both succeed, while a woman just sits back, looks pretty, and is rewarded by a man's hard work. Sad.


A lot healthier to say fuck all that though, and pick on smaller battles.

 

I'm in a relationship with a man that I find very "charming", yet many could, and do, interpret it as flirtatious. He's complimentary to women, and engages most any of them in a conversation. On occasion, he'll get a bad reaction from one, and he thinks it strange. But it's the way he is, and he's not going to change, and nor should he.

The day has arrived (and you can thank feminists for this) that men have to cater to the whims they sense coming from women. It's backfiring though, because us women now find them pathetic for doing so.

Really people!!!!!! This merry go round won't stop, unless we all stop getting on it.

 

women are no different to men with relationships surely

ask yourself

do you want to go out with desperate girls
who are clearly only trying to be nice

so they can play with your man tits?????

 

Good points. kudos for admitting that. But it takes all kinds of selfishness to call the man pathetic when you do nothing to discourage or change said behavior. Do you take initiative yourself, step in and say "Hey! I wanna know what YOU wanna do!?" - No. Instead you likely say nothing, while secretely cringing & then gossiping about it later with your ovarie buddies.


Women say they want confident, strong willed men who don't cater to them but lack every single one of those traits themselves. Yet they're still demanding them.



On top of this, should a man "get off" this merry go round, he's dateless. Unless he naturally attracts in other ways.


A women has the luxury to get off, get on, or basically do whatever the fux she pleases.



And actually, the blame is men. We've made 'hooking up' tooo easy for women.

Who they are as a person is not tested NEARLY as much as a man -- in fact, it's pretty insulting because initiation-lacking (no confidence), uncordial, selfish girls get laid left and right.

While someone like Matt is 32 and still trying to figure out this perfect balance of being a great person. :juggle: Is this point making sense to the female posters here?

We're not having relationships. We're just catering to women.

 

It's your choice to feel insulted about that since no one in fact is insulting you in any way. And like said earlier in this thread, when generalizing about the other gender it is appreciated to point out that you do so, otherwise it just really seems like a mock and blame game and people will react to that.

 

Yes. Especially if she makes a good sandwich.