Women and bisexual men.

This question is mainly for the ladies. Have you/would you ever date or have sex with a bisexual man? I've gone on a few dates with one years ago, but nothing really ever came of it. I recently made friends with a bisexual man I met on a swinger's site, and we got to talking about how it's not very socially acceptable (even in the swingers community) for men to be attracted to both genders, while the women are almost expected to be. Thoughts?

 

Personally I have never really hit it off with many. There are a couple I have been with, sometimes more that once but they don't seem to have that same draw that gets me all hot and bothered. The ones I have been with were more dominant sorts as most of my men tend to be, but the spark of lust was missing. Absolutely nothing against it, I just feel like I do about pegging a guy, great for you if you like it, but it's one of the few things that doesn't do it for me.

Maybe I am just jealous and think if we were in a mmf I might not get as much attention, lol

 

Lol, good points. I'm not into pegging either. It seems this one is very much a man's man, which is pretty hot. Then again, I'm one of those weird females with pansexual tendencies. I think male on male action is sexy, but the penetration aspect does nothing for me.

 

I can see that, a little touch and rub doesn't turn me off, but when it is time to stick something in someone it's me me me me me!

 

:iagree: Although, I'm down with male on male oral as well.

 

I think you are correct about bi men having a harder time in the swing community where as bi woman are what people really want! I am straight myself, but my lady is bi. I know when we are looking for other to meet we will only be interested in couples where the woman is bi and the man is straight.

Even though my lady is big time bi herself she tells me that bi guys are a big turn off. She admits she is a hypocrite, but it is just how she feels.

For sure the biggest want out there in the swing world is single bi women! They are the prize and any woman in this position has a lot of options out there and can be as picky as they want.

 

Why do you care if the man is bi or straight, as long as he is respectful of boundaries, like ALL people in the community should be?

Lol, that's why the single bi women are called unicorns. We have a marvelous unicorn, but prefer couples. Less chance of jealousy that way, and everyone has someone to play with.

 

I don't care if the man is bi or straight. We just find it better to be with people on the same terms with the same wants. I am the furthest thing from a homophobe. I also agree that ALL people in the community should be respectfull which we are. Can't say the same for many of the people we have dealt with.

 

Crazy this came up. Just today i was talking to a friend and she asked if i was bi. Im not and asked her if it would be a dealbreaker for her. Her said it would be even though she makes out with women and is considering going further. She didnt see the irony.

I have no problem with anyone elses preferences and just thought it odd how she felt.

 

Wow! What a good question/point the OP brought up.

Yeah, it's a deal breaker for me. I know what I like in guys (relationship-wise), and being bi falls outside of the parameters I have established in my mind.
Yes, I have sex with other women, but if a guy I am interested in is not interested in me for that reason he has every right to pass on me. In that regard, it's not a double standard.

So far this has not been a problem, not even a little, but I can see how a bi-male would could face a uphill challenge in finding women who are not only open minded (tolerant) but who would find a specific sexual interest in guys who are bi. Fortunately, it's a big world.

 

As long as I'm getting mine, he can get his anyway he wants.

I'd be totally OK with a bi man.

 

Interesting replies....I'm curious though. For those who consider it a deal breaker, WHY is it? Assuming they were going to be monogomous with you, would you be ok with their sexuality?

 

I actually find it very attractive when a boyfriend has had sexual experiences with both sexes. Not because I am into fantasizing about these encounters or anything, but because I like the fact that he is open to different life experiences and kinds of connections with people. I find that sense of curiosity and open mindedness quite attractive. But I also think if I were single and seeking a relationship this would not be a deal-breaker. Hopefully this person would display those qualities of curiosity and open mindedness in other areas of their life.

Also, about the threesome discussion earlier mentioned. I have found sexual encounters with mmf sort of uncomfortable if the guys do not pay any attention to one another and instead solely to me. For one thing, it is a lot of pressure. And for another thing, I just think it is incredibly hot when all members of a sexual act are interested in one another. That way, everyone can take turns receiving the most attention. I am not trying to put anyone else's sexual desires or experiences down here. I understand that a lot of women seem to be into being the center of attention in a threesome, and before actually trying one, I thought that was how I would feel. But just based on my experiences, that isn't necessarily the most ideal threesome scenereo for me.

 

Mama, I'm sure you figured out that you'd have your own unique experience with this guy if you dated him, but as for me and my experience, it didn't work out.
And because I dated a bisexual man, I was exposed to other bisexuals dating straight people and theirs didn't work out so well either.

The problem for me was that in a 'straight relationship' and you date someone, you are committed it's just you and them - with the bisexual guy, it wasn't like that -It wasn't just me and him - it was me, him and his bisexuality ALL the time. It's a daily issue and baggage.

Not only from the guy I dated, but from all the others I've been around that dated straight people - it was like their tendency always strayed toward a preference for the same sex, rather than being with you. It was like I wasn't enough or just what he wanted.
And that carried over in to every part of the relationship -- he began wanting to be nurtured excessively and selfishly -- he wanted me to act out gay sex in the bed with him or asked for anal sex or oral because of his preferences of males but me being female --- he really damaged my self esteem.
He wanted to talk to men online to fill his 'other' need.
And it was VERY hard to deal with him getting turned on by guys just as we sat there at watched tv.
Now, I'm a bit of a jealous person and don't like a man to look at women in front of me...so imagine someone looking at guys AND girls in front of you.

I would not date a bisexual guy ever again for many reasons.

 

Oh man, I'm so sorry that happened to you . That sounds like a terrible relationship. We wouldn't be dating. He's married (they've been together 11 years), and I am too (we've been together 10). Neither of our relationships are monogamous, but right now we're just friends. Even if we did get together, it would be nothing more than causal. Nothing serious.

 

I have mixed feelings about hooking up with a bi man. I find the masculine, muscular ones very sexy and love man on man action. Besides I'm bi so it only seems fair to give them a chance and not succumb to this double standard. But there are so many diseases and it seems like bi men are very promiscuous. So I think I'd have to pass, bummer.

 

Interesting perspective....although, diseases can be prevented with safe sex and regular testing. I've never had a single std. I think most single/ non monogamous men strive to be promiscuous though.

 

One of my ex's was bi-sexual, so yea, apparently it doesn't bother me.


I also used to really like and slept with quite a few times.. a guy who said he was bi-sexual and I was the first girl he was with. He later turned out to be totally gay and not bi. He just felt it was better sounding to be bi than gay. But anyways, when I found that out I wasn't really surprised and it didn't bother me either.

 

Surprising. "Logistically" 2 men for a woman works out so much better. One can "recover" while the other performs. Men need more recovery time than women. She can feel like she's had many men loving her when in reality its only 2. The men dont ever have to even touch if they didn't want to. I don't consider myself bi, but honestly there's nothing I wouldn't do if she wanted it. If a woman I was having a threesom mmf with asked me to get into 69 with her on top and guide the other man's cock into her then take it out and suck it a little....she wouldn't have to ask me twice. Same for his creampie or kiss her after he gave her a facial. Yup, in a second I'd do that to make her smile.

I always want a mmf 3 way. If my wife wanted a mmf I wouldn't even hesitate.