Wives who conceal their sexual past from husbands

Just the fact you said it like that means there is doubt

 

OMG! She might have had sex with your friend in the car becuase "she is an extreme people pleaser" ?!?!

Man, you have been brain...washed!

 

Sorry - when I say there is no doubt about it I don't know how that sounds like there is doubt.

If you ever studied "People Pleasing" you might find that it's an interesting topic. These people go out of their way to make sure everyone is happy. Combine that with a low self-esteem with weak to no personal boundaries you have a recipe for disaster. She went to therapy fo 5 years to try and address this then we went together for counseling years later to figure out how to address it again. I don't know what you mean by "brain washed" but I do believe the reason why she had so many sex partners is because of this very reason which, BTW, is an easy condition that predators spot and target. BTW during her college days she hooked up with 3 guys while she dated another so that shows that she is quite capable of "having an affair" in my eyes.

 

Oi vey

 

This.

Sounds like your wife is quite a master of manipulation, OP. She shouldn't be finding herself in all these situations, where men are ''persistently'' asking her for sex. While some men don't take no for an answer unfortunately, your wife has the ability to get out of the car or situation, and say no. She sounds like she has been playing you for a long time, and comes up with creative excuses that are nothing but manipulation, because she doesn't want to lose the married lifestyle she has enjoyed with you. I think you deserve way better, now that you've shared more of this here.

 

I would not be able to get myself in a serious relationship, let alone get married, where my partner and I couldn't speak about our past relationships and whatnot with honesty. My girlfriend and I had "the talk" a few months into the relationship where we pretty much spilled our secrets to each other. We also have serious discussions from time to time where we speak openly and honestly. In fact, due to the extremely long distance nature of our relationship, we've talked about our needs as sexual and emotional living things where I offered that she could seek comfort from someone local, should this be something that would help her in any way during long periods of not being able to physically be with each other. She says that isn't necessary, and since it's not necessary for me either, we have one fewer matter to worry about. It's all about communication, though, and we do make it a point to stay on the same page in our relationship. I don't think I could be in a relationship, or marriage, if this sense of being on the same page with my partner couldn't be achieved.

Details aren't as important as simple and to-the-point facts as far as I'm concerned. In fact, juicy details of the past relationships/sexual encounters typically are better left unsaid, unless both parties are comfortable sharing(and/or because maybe it's a turn-on for both?). Well, I will add, however, that circumstantial details in terms of how the situation took place without getting all X-rated about it could help explain things a bit, and thus preventing further misunderstanding. I've also never quite understood the whole notion of friends being off-limits to exes, or exes being off-limits to friends, so I would be totally fine with my partner's previously having sexually involved with a friend of mine. If she lied about it, then I'd be like "it's no big deal, why would you even lie about it?" Which pretty much echoes the OP's below statement:

It also depends on whether or not there have been malicious intentions on her part as well, in which case I would obviously become upset about the revelation. But I think it would be more of a "why are you doing this to me NOW?" type thing rather than a "why did you sleep with my friend and not tell me?" had I ended up in such a situation. There was a girl I was interested in many years ago, who had expressed that she had romantic feelings for me. It was a mutual situation so I expressed my own feelings to her, and............well, she fucks some other dude the very next day, ouch!. To be fair, though, she had some serious emotional issues and was unstable at the time, so I try to be understanding about it all. But that whole experience with her definitely got me fucked in the head for a while.

 

A word of advice, most women will never tell you their true sexual history for various reasons...the most obvious is our current hypocritical, “slut-shaming”, anti-polygamous culture that has somehow became embedded in the psyches of most humans around the world due mainly to religion (even though monogamy is a relatively new human behavior in our evolutionary lifespan).

Bottom line is women like to fuck just as much, if not more so, as men do. What sucks for us all is they have the added burden of having to keep it low-key due to the potential of damaging their reputation, being humiliated and even possibly physically harmed or killed. If it wasn’t for all that bs, everyone would be getting laid more frequently

 

It's not just wives, it's girlfriends too; they ain't gonna bullshit me.

 

I agree with what he said above and about keeping the communication on going.

We talked it all out well before we got married.