Selfish? It's your fantasy i'm aiming to fulfill! I have sexually identified as a toaster since childhood btw
I accidentally whacked Shitlegs [one of my pooches] with the toaster,this very morning. Oh,how he whinged...pansy!
I bumped into George Foreman this morning. He was having a conversation...[I bet you can fill in the rest]...
The secret,trashed,is to sidle up to your toaster and in a soft,seductive manner,say,"You have VERY nice buttons...mind if I stroke them?" Suddenly,your toaster will be feeling VERY hot [grrr!] so be prepared to catch pinged-out airborne hot slices of bread! [yep-I'm Captain Hotstuff,with a toaster!]
Cosmic Microwave Toaster My microwave toaster is cosmic, A reactionless drive that violates, Newton's third law of motion, Producing thrust in a vacuum. Without requiring any lubricants, Or any propellant spit out the back. And lending entirely new meaning, To sex under the moon and stars. And, "Try, there is no try!" "Feel the force Luke!" "Do or do not!"
Stoned Philosophers The Philosopher's Stone is recognized, As the only way to transmute any material, Transforming not only elemental lead into gold, But, the plainest water, into the finest wine, Stones into the loaves of freshly baked bread, Using wine and bread to make the perfect toast! By transmuting the essential elements themselves. For nothing from nothing ain't nothing in Wonderland! Ya gotta have something, if you wanna dance with me!