wishing i was dead...

Hi inbloom and all u other people.It is so weird but as im reading what u guys have written i get this feeling of love and caring towards u all.I dont even know u but i already care about how u r feeling.Ive been feeling how u have been inbloom.Like no one cares about me and y the hell am i here and like when things r going good and im actually feeling happy something f**ks up and i get all down.Its like a vicious circle.

 

I know what you mean..but, reading everyone else really helps..its like just words on a screen but it really helps.

 

I hear yu. I feel the same and then one day I realized that I get these suicidal thoughts at times when I get really overwhelmed by fighting with my family or something....and then it hit me that that is how I was tought to deal with stress kinda because my mom was so suicidal all the time that I picked up on that habit of feeling like that is the way out of my pain. So now when I am really down I think death. Even though I really wouldn't do it...it's kinda weird.

 

I live in AB, about an hour out of Edmonton, in a small town called Lamont.

 

Don't kill yourself, don't even try....I tried, three weeks ago, (read my post) and it was horrible. I didn't even want to die so it wsa pointless, and it just made my problems worse. I had thought about it many, many times, but this time I actually went through with it, without even wanting to die. People on here have helped me realize that I just did it for attention, for my parnets to talk to me, and that is the stupidest most selfish reason ever....and, did it get me attention? Sure, whole lot of negative, unwanted attention.

 

I feel like that too, more often than not. But then I know that there are other people out there who, like me, care about everybody, just because they ARE, and that makes me feel better, if only a little bit.

 

in bloom, I live in Grande Prairie! Not too far from your area!

 

Not too many people give a shit what happens to me, haven't had a girlfriend in my life, and I'm fairly happy. I guess my brain chemicals are balanced well. Or something.

 

....................me too