Will somebody marry me?

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Brain Food 101, May 23, 2004.

  1. Hello,

    I'm 18 and I would like to get married. I have hair. I wear clothes most of the time. I like Blind Melon, STP, Smashing Pumpkins, 311, the Meat Puppets, and Jane's Addiction. I quit school 3 months ago. Now I work for the man under shitty wages. That's all that really matters.

    Oh yeah, ummmm, I don't beat up ladies or whatever.

    A prime example of how beggers CAN be choosers...

    1. Must be female (and no post operation weirdos)

    2. No evil plans to kill me and steal my CD's. Or my brain.

    3. I really hate sluts and dick feinds.... their mentality is enough to kill.

    4. No crank heads or whatever- let's just stick with the herb, okee dokee?

    5. NO FAT CHICKS!!!!

    HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

    That last one was necessary, sorry. Actually, I don't care if you're fat. As long as you don't have a third eye or whatever.

    There are certain events that led up to me looking for a wife. I'f you would like to know, let's get married and then we can talk about it.

    And I've already heard plenty of discouraging remarks from my friends and elders. I've watched my parents go through divorce and all that- trust me I know what I'm asking for. But I really don't care, and my future wife shouldn't either. Who cares what happened to you guys- I've heard it my entire life. Just let me do my thing.

    So... Does anybody else want to get married?

    Honestly, we could overthrow the world and become a furious evil duo. Or we could fight crime. Or we could get rich by feeding the elderly to the homeless, and the homeless to the starving, and the starving to grade schoolers. We don't even have to stop there, even though over population and starvation wouldn't be problems anymore. Imagine the possibilities, future wife.
  2. Juggalo4ever

    Juggalo4ever KingoftheChubbyGirls

    You're not right

  3. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    my friend is post operation, but not werid so i'll ask her to get in touch

  4. schatzi

    schatzi Member

    Ha! That's the best picture ever!
  5. Dustinthewind

    Dustinthewind woopdee fucking doo

    thats all great and all. but what you missed the most important thing!

    dicksize? (ha ha!) just kidding. :D
  6. Sunnie

    Sunnie Jes-Jes

    "Will somebody marry me?"

    No, I'm good thanks.
  7. yeah, let's get married
  8. no fat chicks? aw shit im out!
  9. Cirrhosis

    Cirrhosis Banned

    No, because you'll steal my 20-something CDs of SP rarities in the divorce.
  10. Epiphany

    Epiphany Copacetic

    I think I'm in lo.... no wait, that's how it started last time
  11. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    if your fat i'm kermit the frog

  12. Earthy Mama

    Earthy Mama Feel my wrath... ;)

    um ok lets go... i need someone who doesnt know me to just marry me so I can suck them in lol
  13. Dude Its Kermit!

    Holy Shit I Wuv Ya...
  14. Samhain

    Samhain Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    that was my way of saying you don't look fat incase you didn't get my drift

  15. well ya said if im fat then yer kermit..

    so now yer kermit..

    you said it...

    yer fault..
  16. Willy_Wonka_27

    Willy_Wonka_27 Surrender to the Flow

    ill marry you ...but i never wanna get married...so that wont work..hehe
  17. Earthy Mama

    Earthy Mama Feel my wrath... ;)

    lol i get lonely easily
  18. lucyinthesky

    lucyinthesky Tie Dyed Soul

    im down. this marriage sounds fun ;) .
  19. honeyhannah

    honeyhannah herbuhslovuh

    I'm everything you don't want, which means I want you, prepare to be chased...
  20. WayfaringStranger

    WayfaringStranger Corporate Slave #34

    hey what are all my ladies doin in this thread. dont f*** with my harem dude!

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