will I find someone.

Discussion in 'Lesbian' started by LostSumfin, Sep 1, 2013.

  1. LostSumfin

    LostSumfin Guest

    Hi, im 30 yrz old and I have a problem that I would like ur opinion on...
    K, this is a long winded post so hold on.
    Because I don't know anyone and no one knows me im gonna be honest and raw with you all.
    I do not like to be touched in any way, I do not like the idea of letting anyone
    Go down town or even getting close to it. Now I know most
    Other people will start with "selfish" and "unfair" coments.. because
    Thats all iv ever heard. Trust me, if I didn't feel sick at the thought
    Id let it happen but the sad fact is
    that it Does make me feel like im gonna be sick!
    I know why I feel this way and there is nothing I can do to
    Stop this. No therapy No drug No Dr Phil special speech
    And no magic is gonna make me feel any different about it.
    I was damaged far to young and I feel like I lost a part of
    What makes me human. Iv lived my life behind this mask for 27 years
    And as hard as it is im still alive n kickin, I feel ill never be ok with
    It and iv accepted that this is the life I have. My worry is that ill never
    Find happiness, ill never find someone that can truly be happy with someone
    Like me. Every post I looked for to find help all stated that people like me are
    Selfish and that its not right to be purely a "giver" because its unfair to whoever
    Im with. Now I understand what these people are saying but they are not
    In my shoes they do not feel how I feel when it comes down to it.
    I guess im asking if there is anyone out there that has found happiness
    That can just let me know its not all darkness n rain clouds?
    Im not a Stud and im not a lipstick , I dont ware makeup because I
    Dont want to look pretty and get attention from men... I dont even like
    When they look at me, and before you think im a man hateing feminist
    Bra burning loon, no im not, I love my da I love my brother and ALL of my
    Friends are male, and not because I hate woman but because thats just
    How things turned out in my life.
    I work I play I sing in a band im a social person, iv my outside life
    Sorted. So please if anyone can help a lass out n just post something
    That might help please could ya?
    Cheers x
  2. sunshine186

    sunshine186 midnight toker

    Don't let anyone tell you it's not okay to not want to receive sex. It's not selfish.
    Maybe it's like an asexuality thing, Maybe you just don't like it.

    Find someone who doesn't care

    or bvetter yet, find someone that'll help you like it. One day
  3. LostSumfin

    LostSumfin Guest

    Thank you for not straight off calling me selfish.
    And thank you for replying. :)
    Iv yet to meet someone who can swallow that pill..
    I dont think there are many that can, but I guess time will tell.
  4. sunshine186

    sunshine186 midnight toker

    Gotta look for them I guess. Try a dating site
    sometimes being a lesbian is like getting a job. look online or get referred
  5. BeachBall

    BeachBall Nosey old moo

    I don't quite get why people would call you selfish for only being a "giver"??

    My partner is only a "taker". I can see why some folk might call THAT selfish ... although I don't.

    People are what they are. And yes ... you will find somebody who is right for you, and who accepts you and loves you just the way you are. Have confidence ... and keep on being who you are, hun :)

    Big hug from me.
  6. numberphile

    numberphile Member

    A relationship is about giving and taking. You have to do both, but not necessarily in bed.

    You will find someone.. Love isn't only about sex.

    If someone truly cares about you, they'll accept you the way you are.

    It'd be harder to find a partner if you only liked 'taking' .. ;)

    I don't see why they call you selfish just because you prefer pleasing.

    Btw, my guess is, if you find the right person, after some time, you might let them approach you and who knows, maybe you'll enjoy it after trying. ^^
  7. LostSumfin

    LostSumfin Guest

    Thank you for ur messages gurls its nice to know not everyone is so harsh :)
    I get cald selfish because they say its unfair to the other girl if she wants to give.
    And I understand that. This is why I am afraid of finding anyone that will accept me for me.
    Its not that I have never taken its that it makes me feel sick :-( so iv never enjoyed it, and of course whoever im with will sense this. And no one wants to make someone feel
    Bad for doing something during, ya know. It ends up akward :-/
    And thus the cycle continues. Rock hard place....
    Iv been inlove before and they have loved me back. But it always comes up
    In the end. Like I said before, I totaly understand why this would make life difficult in thee ol
    Bedroom. I would never wish to make someone I care about feel
    Unhappy in anyway. I take on board everything everyone has been kind enuff to
    Reply to this sad ass post lol thank you for doing so tho x
    I know its my problem n theres no quick fix and I know its a hard one.
    But ur kindness has atleast made me smile and gave me a release to talk openly :)

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