wife wont do anything or let me see her naked

I have had this battle for a while, she wont do oral, she wont do any position other than me on top, I know I can get her to O and trust me there is no problem there.. she is gorgeous.. and very fit and thin, will NEVER let me see her naked fully, only topless... I love her to death, but she is my wife, I would like to at least see her naked!

I have tried to talk to her about it, she says "I hate the way I look" and she just gets mad and changes the subject.

Oral, forget it.. its been two years and I have got it from her once for about 5 seconds. She is usually up to sex, but I have to do all of the work, and she always seems very resistant... meaning she obviously wont let me go down on her, she never has.. but she wont even let me touch her down there hardly... What the hell am I supposed to do?? I love her so much and never push her to uncomfort .. but every time I try and talk to her about it she will conveniently change the subject..

it is getting to the point to where I just dont want sex as much any more

 

How did you make it to marriage without seeing her naked? Nevermind....

It would have never gotten this far, if you ask me. I would pitch a major fit and say you either get naked or I'm leaving your ass.

 

Ditch The Bitch, Problem Solved...:2thumbsup:



Cheers Glen.

 

Couples counseling or maybe a book. I'd guess talking about it without putting too much pressure on her.

Maybe even get her to look through the sex forums here. They are pretty mind opening.

 

He Didn't, He's Just Another "One Post Wonder"...:troll:



Cheers Glen.

 

I have seen her naked, just either when she had been drinking, or a VERY quick glimpse.. topless all the time, underwear all the time.. but thats all.. idk what the fuck to do.. yeah we have a kid together too..

 

also, I dont want to leave her at all, but like I said everytime I mention it, she immediately gets mad .. not like I am a fatty .. I am athletic, and before her, I had NO problem with women in bed, it was VERY easy for me to go to the bars and bring one home... and have a GREAT night.. she is great in every way except this one thing...ugggggg

 

Have you considered it could be a self esteem issue. May people are brought up being told that sex is dirty etc. I also have a gorgeous wife who I adore. We have a large bedroom with an ensuite separated by a wall with plantation shutters... she will pull them shut at the earliest opportunity she gets when getting out of the shower. So I can empathise!

My wife doesn't see herself as beautiful, despite my telling her pretty much every day that she is. I've tried watering this down by saying that she is 'to me'. Not a great change... just less of a battle as at least I can claim to own my thoughts and opinions and they are real to me. So she can't negate them.

What to do? I also have the same issue re: Oral sex. What's that? It had never previously been something I had to get permission for before indulging. I could count the times it has happened... and she makes out that when it has happened, that it has been for my benefit. I guess in part it is, as I love doing it, but the idea is to please her.

As for her reciprocating. I think it happened once last year for about 2 minutes, for 1 1/2 minutes I think she just held it in her hand. ... Oh, and I am suppose to close my eyes and not watch... despite her knowing that visuals play a big part of the total enjoyment of the experience. Being told to 'Just imagine in'... really points to an issue in my mind, that there is something wrong.

I saw another post on a thread where I woman said that she wasn't happy to go down on a guy after him performing anal sex. I get that!

I don't know. I think we think the same way... when you are in a serious relationship ala married... there shouldn't be any barriers

 

I risk being attacked for saying this but you need to grow a set and tell her to take her clothes off. She's being ridiculous.

Edit: I realize how insensitive this sounds. But I just envision you pleading and negotiating to see your own wife naked. She needs to play her part instead of depriving you of a full sexual relationship with her. I usually defend women in these situations if they refer to sexual exploration but you can't even get off the ground with that if she's unwilling to get naked. I guess if you're still trying to make things work you need to flatter the hell out of her. Be really really expressive with how much you looooove her body when you're having sex with her. Don't be phony about it, but you need to really express it to her. This might help. If it doesn't, she needs therapy. I mean this is just ridiculous.

 

great advise, only problem is I know her well enough and she will get shitty pretty fast if I mention looking on forums.. idk.. everything in our life is great, except for this..when we have sex, it is great.. except when I want to change things up.. she immediately gets offended thinking that she is not good enough and its over from there

 

If she's willing to get shitty with you, get shitty with her.

It's pretty fucked up that she won't get naked with her husband, you committed to her for life.

Put your foot down.

 

no you wont be attacked, you are right.. I have tried everything, showing her how I feel and being as sincere as I can.. without being an asshole... and it never goes anywhere.. she plays it off like it is no big deal.. It will sometimes turn bad, because we get into it about it.. I am like WTF?? with my ass flappin in the wind here

 

self esteem is prob a huge part.. if oral is not what she likes, I can deal with that, I guess.. but to not even let me see her body, as my wife.. that is offensive to me

 

I try and try, never gets anywhere.. I am going to have a serious talk tomorrow with her, just about how we are husband and wife.. and we should be totally open.. I am with her, and I want her to be with me.. I am not even going to sugar coat it, I am going to tell her it is a big problem that needs to be fixed

 

Good, and don't let her guilt you into backing down. Be respectful, and firm when you talk to her. Her sexual hangups do not translate to villainous sexual perversion on your part. I have a feeling she tries to make you feel bad for wanting it at all.

 

yeah, it is not about being dirty, it is about enhancing that connection.. nothing worse than when we are trying and she either pushes my hand away when I touch her down there, or when I pull the covers off because things are getting intense and she stops and grabs the covers because... I am not allowed to see her.. bullshit

 

She needs to see a doctor. How old is she? Get some therapy or even just talking to a normal doctor...get her to let you go to the doctor with her and any decent doctor will let her know something is off. Sexual health is an important part of being an adult.

 

It sounds like a psychological issue. For all you know she was abused, if not sexually, verbally shamed whatever. Or she just has body image issues.

It's weird because it seems simple enough and totally reasonable for a bunch of internet strangers to tell you she just needs to loosen up and get naked, but perhaps she needs years of therapy and like some intimacy training (if that's a thing, if not it should be).

 

So basically any cause that is external, some one or something elses fault. Or if her, something where she will get sympathy and gets to play the victim.


Couldnt possibly be her being calculating and manipulative?

Even though thats the most likely reason, by the sound of it. Her plan all along was to hook up with some guy she wasnt attracted to to have a couple kids, but didnt even get to a couple cos after the initial joy with the first one it all got old pretty quickly, cut off the sex until he gets fed up, then divorce settlement and child support payments. Then she can hook up with whoever she wants (if she was ever going to be interested in any one at all) and he's still paying for it.

The not letting him see her naked routine is because if she does he'll get excited and he'll keep trying. She cant end it cos that will make her the villian, if he ends it he'll still feel guilty enough to keep up the child support payments