Wife with disability. Autoimmune disease

Wife in pain all the time. Wears a pain patch. Gets crabby not feeling good. So we don't have sex very often. Both of us on zoloft so SSRI affects my sexual ability and have enlarged prostate. And on blood pressure med. I would like some sex. Maybe sometime with someone else. Even think about a first time with a man but that is as far as it goes.

 

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I hope you both are doing ok…I know from experience that all those issues are tough. I have myasthenia gravis, also an auto immune disease and the depression and prostate issues you mentioned. My wife is very healthy, but I have no capacity as a sexual partner.

 

My mate's sexuality was robust and joyous...until we were rear-ended by a SUV >60 MPH. Her TBI flipped her libido off like a light switch, and the trauma triggered what appears to be a rip-roaring case of SLE. She's perpetually nauseous and in chronic pain; she says it feels like every joint in her body's on fire; it's hard to even cuddle or embrace her for fear of causing her more pain...and that's just the briefest summary of all of her symptoms. We haven't made love in over two years now. She's a strict fundamentalist when it comes to monogamy (once burned, twice shy); she wants me to leave her and find a companion who isn't "broken", so she can end her life in peace.
I will continue to respectfully decline her offer.

 

Of course matey, you're a Gentleman !!!

 

Wow man. My wife also has fibromyalgia. Degenerative bone disease. Osteoarthritis. Dermatitis. Borderline lupus. A cracked pelvis. 2 cracked ribs. From falling off horse twice. Not fun at all.

 

Between her TBI (high lability & anxiety/low frustration tolerance & impulse control), some preexisting psychiatric issues (Delusional Disorder, Persecutory Type) and the grief, depression, fear, and mourning for her old life you'd expect under such circumstances, caring for her can be...challenging.
Sex in general just doesn't seem very appetizing to me now, which considering the dearth of it, is probably just as well.

 

Man. Exactly.

 

I'm a 53-year-old female, and I have serious health issues. I have a brain tumor that because of where it sits, is making me lose use of my legs and arms. Due to the tumor itself, and the side effects from the treatments for it, sex has been practically non existent for the past few years. My BF of over 20 years has been supportive, but also has recently come out as a heteroromantic bisexual - where he wants a relationship with women, but sex with men and women. Working through our situation due to my health issues is tough, but working through our sexual issues has been just as hard. Since his coming out to me, we are being 100% open and honest with our feelings about everything, no matter how awkward. We have decided to try an open relationship, so that he can fulfill his sexual needs that I cannot do. He will be having non-committal sex with guys. And at the same time, we will also be getting creative and reopening our own sex life. Communication is key.

 

My wife developed health issues and sex went downhill. Though she wasn't in any danger she mentally couldn't get interested in sex anymore. Doctors fixed her up medically but her sexuality hasn't come back. I found myself needing something other than masturbation. I unexpectedly one day masturbated with a male friend who too had a non sexual wife. We have since gotten together secretly a few times and have advanced to oral with one another. Neither of us ever imagined this in our lives. I find myself comfortable with the arrangement now.

 

I guess I’m fortunate to have a fulfilling sex life with my wife. That said, Recently we both experienced a near death illness. I was on a ventilator and losing the battle and my wife was in the next room struggling too. We have always had a pact about sex. If either of us are unable to perform for the other, we can and will find sex elsewhere. This is a twenty year pact, so nothing new.
Fast forward. We both survived. However, it renewed our commitment and we have recently opened our marriage to include others. We do this to show compassion, love and compersion for one another.
We never want to live lonely and sexless. I never want to see my wife without a warm bed fellow.

 

Yes I've been there. It seems the only way forward, no anal though. Most Bi's seem to expect it

 

I'll second that.