Wife wants to be used in bed

My rather vanilla wife told me to use her the other night in bed -- of course my mind went in a million directions, so I wanted to get some opinions from others.

What are your ideas of being "used?"
How would you prefer to be "used?"

 

Just thinking outside the box. You could build this into including others in your bedroom. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. Obviously she has a imagination. It’s just sex. Adult play. It took a while for my wife to understand, but she’s got it now.

 

It would depend on what one considers being used. My wife considered being used if the guy got his jollies, and never pleased her. I seen several gangbangs where the girl got used and were no more than a cum bucket, and a few of them liked it.

 

Well, I'd start off easy. Her idea and level of 'use me' may be totally different than yours. Maybe start out a little playful and work your way up to see where it goes. "Use me" doesn't always me "abuse me"....

 

True but you'll never know until you pursue it .Maybe she has more in mind .

 

There's always hope......

 

And that's what keeps us going .

 

To me, used means she wants to feel like you're doing what you want and only thinking about yourself not her. It's more complex than that but its really liberating to feel like an object, to feel like you're exciting enough for him without needing to do anything, just being there. Theres also a power play there, she wants to see you as the powerful male figure, taking control

 

I have a friend whose fantasy is to be kept in a dungeon (any basement or closet will do) as a sex slave. The fantasy is that it be for real, but she's sane, so she just role-plays it with her current boyfriend. Most guys, apparently, are no good at this.

Put her in a closet for a while, if you don't have a basement. Tell her that she's good for only one thing. After 30-60 minutes, take her out, give her a good hard fuck, and then put her back in there for a while.

Get her consent a day or so ahead of time, of course, but don't give her every detail or tell her exactly when you're going to do it. She'll feel used. You don't seem like you're exactly wired for this if you have to ask random strangers what your wife, the person you're closest to in life, means by "use." Not everyone can role-play well or convincingly, so this may not work out for the two of you. Give it a try though.

 

By her telling you, she covers her own desires. She may fear if she wants something, it may upset you. If she wants sex with another man, and you set it up. You have no one to blame but yourself.

 

First of all, I would ask her what she meant. Assuming could be dangerous (to your relationship, that is). When I've asked that of a guy, without getting into specifics, in general I meant for him to "use" me in any way he desires for his sexual satisfaction. Maybe she's trying to determine what it is you really enjoy doing sexually. So just show her and see what happens.

 

Typically this just means you having complete control and making full sexual use of her for your own pleasure without any thought for her. So include oral, anal and vaginal sex. Cum inside and over her. But not just physical use, make her feel submissive too. Include some role-play and tie her up. Instruct her. Use insults too. But most importantly of all, only do anything you know she will be comfortable with and consent to without the need to ask her, and only you know that.

 

EXACTLY - What he said!

 

Your reference to the bum sinking reminded me of a friend who really wants anal but is really afraid of doing it. So she masturbates with one of her fingers just a little in her back hole but she either watches anal porn or imagines herself being held down by hands on her waist while being penetrated there. Big climax as she "feels" herself being taken in the ass. But, at least so far, no one can actually fuck her there. She goes from excited to "done" whenever it gets to that point. I think she wants it to be something she has no control over. I mean, the control she has is to let it happen to her in a way that "feels" like she has no control. If she just lets someone try to penetrate her anally, it hurts a little and the experience stops being erotic. I've told her in the past that if she takes it hard, it'll hurt more and I think in some ways, that's what she wants. It's complicated for her. In any event, she does manage to get a climax with the tip of her finger in there while imagining a whole cock being pushed home and that works for her. Thanks for the reminder. She's the one that I've mentioned here that normally masturbates in her jeans which is a new one for me but she'll do it multiple times a day. Kinda cool.

 

Use this to explore her limits (and yours).
It sounda like she wants to explore things but does not want to either shock you or be the one to suggest things she feels perhaps you may not be up for. Have fun!

 

If she is anything like me, i was so ready to move past the "we have sex on Saturday, the same boring way". When we opened the door to say what you want and I'd be willing to try it.... Wow. I love knowing my husband wants me. For me to it more of him taking me vs using me. First, i love when he tells me all the things he's going to do to me later. Foreplay with your word is very hot! Love when he surprises me in the shower or pins me against a wall.

I like him to tell me what to do in bed, pin my hands down. I love when he is on top and pulls out and shoves his cock on my mouth and tells me to suck it hard. When i feel how much he wants me, it actually makes me want to offer more to him. Want to cum on my face, sure... try it. Tit fuck? I had no idea how much we'd both like it.

Maybe she wants to be tied up... Ask her. I kind of would love to be gently tied to our 4 poster bed. Or maybe she just wants you to show her how much you want her.

 

Be sure to communicate, ask her what she means and wants. Make it fun for both of you.

 

I very much want to hear how this played out for you. Similar situation on my end but rather than specific marching orders I get hints for being into more spice without any specific details or ideas. I have so many thoughts but no good course of action. Excited for you in your upcoming adventure but I also feel your hesitation! Happy humping!

 

Clairee probably has the best-put, for a newbie-lady having said what your wife said, explanation. I've studied, both by gathering and filing away comments from different sources, and experimentally (real world), that 80% of women (I won't say 'all' because there is no 'all women') have an urge to be 'submissive' to a male. Now the degree of which is widely variable, and there are no clear guidelines other than what several others here have said, basically to proceed slowly. But yes, DO proceed!

 

If she asks me to "use" her, then she must know that I will do what I want with her.

But this is communicated and made clear before going forward with it.