Wife sent sex-picture to male "friend".

Backstory:
My wife and i had some trobles lately because lack of a more spicy realtionship. ALot of work and 2 kids ect. The usuall story..

Three months ago I caught her hand in hand with a male collague one night out on town. After i confronted her we both agreed to spice up the realtionship and work on each other more. We even made a few nice and daring pictures to put up here on SF and things were looking up between us until this last weekend. The pictures we made were in my shared folder on internet wich i always get a email when something is downloaded (for security reasons). The folder was also shared with my (ONLY) wifes account so she could have access to them and send me something nice on work-days ect. Lately (two last months) she have been spending ALOT of time on phone and snapchat wich makes me a bit paranoid.

What happened:
So this last weekend she went out again to meet up with some workfriends again. Including the guy i caught her with last time. Turns up hes was the only one to show up and they had a nice one-on-one night out together. That same night i get a message that two (really sexy) mastrubation photos of her were shared out and downloaded. I thought first something was hacked so i asked her when she came home drunk later that day. She first tried lying to me by explaing that she showed "the guys from work for fun". I quickly because supspicious and asked more and she confessed to have sent them to this same guy from work wich i caught her with. SO offcourse i threw a huge fit.

She cried and begged me for forgiveness. I told her in the end to relax and we talked alot to try to work it out just to de-fuse the situation. She explained this was only a friendly gesture and not romatically. She had alot of male friends before because of her personality. A bit of a guys sense of humor. And she does in my opinion so i have no problems with her having guy-friends.

Now what?
But im thinking - this is not normal even for friends to do that. I confronted her several times about this if they are romantically involved, but all i hear that they are only friends.

Im not so sure.. and it have me really confused. Should i continue to trust her?

Any girls out there with male friends who have a similar friends realtionship towards men?

 

I would say more than likely she has already been having a full blown affair, or she will in the near future.

But then again I have trust issues.

Either way it's not cool what she's doing, and that alone is enough not to trust her because she is going behind your back then lying about it.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94MK2JQIgFs"]Young Dro - F.D.B. (Explicit) - YouTube

 

^ sums it up

 

I don't have trust issues and I'd say the same thing. She's either screwing him or will be soon. If she has a bunch of guy friends because she's "just one of the guys"...cool. But none of my guy friends send me pics like that just for the humor in it.

Takes emotion out of it for a sec....she wasn't really into your sex life....she gets caught with this dude (this is where most people would say hey...this is nearing a line and I shouldn't be doing this)....but she didn't say that. She went on to get caught with him again and just in case that wasn't suspicious enough...she thought she would throw in some hot pics too. Not to mention what you haven't seen on snapchat.

 

She's totally fuckin him. Hellooo ?? haha


Your chick is sending him pussy shots etc, and you caught her with him twice. She lies to you about who she's going out to see (and then she goes and sees him). And you really have to ask?

 

You should not continue to trust her.
Not only were they hand in hand, but they went out AGAIN when supposedly others were supposed to go out too. That's called a lie.
Plus pictures?

Fuck that. She's a cheater. Even if they are friends- you are correct- that is not what friends do.

 

Probably not going to be the most favored response, but I say go beat the living Hell out of the guy, break bones and shit, I'm sure all parties involved would get the message real quick.


then kick her to the curb.

 

Uhh no, cross that line and she wins.

---

@OP, the facts speak for themselves she's a cheater, she puts on a good showof waterworks out of guilt but guilt isn't enough for her to not do certain things that she knows disrespects you and goes against what your relationship stands for.



You are too trusting, and if you don't have trust issues NOW, this experience might change that once you realize how badly she's taken advantage of your ability to deny reality that is not in your interests.


If you live together, take all the property you can to a friend's and LEAVE NOW! Get a good divorce lawyer, before she serves you divorce papers first that contain legal language favorable to her.

Also go to the doctors and get tested for every sexual transmitted infection and disease ask for a full work up before you do anything sexual with someone else and don't touch your wife like she's the Black Plague...for safety assume she's infected.

 

I read this again. Maybe last night I was high and being too prone to giving the benefit of the doubt.

Fuck that whore, tell her to kick rocks. Don't leave your house though. Kick her ass out.

Or even better try to play along just enough to get a pic of her with this guy. Holding hands minimum.

 

He can't do that either it's illegal to kick some people out like that without proof. If he's gonna kicker her out he has to do so legally through a lawyer and through divorce papers.

He's also got commit to doing so too and be immune to any begging she's gonna do in response.

 

Everyone isa robot. Existence came to be by impersonal means. Most relationships, no matter how we tell ourselves they are different, are completely impersonal. She has no problem hurting you.

So, change your stance on her and your relationship or leave her. If she loved you she wouldn't hurt you.

 

I don't ever recall sending masturbation pics to a man 'just for fun' unless I was interested in something more, and was single at the time. With that said, OP talk to your wife. She isn't being totally honest with you about the man she was meeting. If they truly are just friends, she wouldn't be sneaking around, and sharing intimate pictures with him behind your back. Even if she has not actually cheated on you, she is being dishonest and not very trustworthy.

Do you want to forgive her? Do you want to work things out? Does she? Only you and your wife can make such life altering decisions. I hope that the two of you can find a way to communicate honestly, and either work through this and build a stronger relationship, or end your marriage...without destroying one another in the process.

Good luck.

 

Whether she is cheating are not (which it does sound like she is doing) she is lying to you and doing shit behind your back. That is all the reason I would need to end things with her. Also come on people don't just send pics of themselves getting off to their friends for fun. This woman has zero respect for you. If you saw her out in public holding hands with this other guy how many other people you know might of saw it as well? You deserve better then this from someone who is supposed to be your wife.

 

Yeah, you can actually. Tell her to get the fuck out and sign the papers when they come, or you will own her legally and be collecting alimony/child support and the like.

Personally I'd rather just blackmail the bitch out of my life if I were ever in that kind of a completely fucked up situation, fresh start for us both. Part ways without getting all 'legal' and anal retentive about some process that is supposed to take place. And ends up screwing both parties regardless of legal liability or finances.

 

I'm pretty sure documents signed under duress are invalid if she got the right lawyer though.

No I still stand by my advice that while blackmail is personally gratifying, it is not very effective method to use.

But I also refer to my past statement that, State law is what would make the difference here, and I don't know all the State laws and how they differ on divorce proceedings since I myself have never been through the divorce process.

 

Well actually forcing someone to sign papers in an uncomfortable / threatening situation is called "signing under duress" which voids the paperwork. And he would be in a lot of trouble if she decided to challenge it.

Edit: Omg I just read what monk posted and AGAIN we post the exact same thing what on earrrttthhh.. lol

 

This is one reason I've never been married, haven't felt like I met someone I could really trust that much and have fantastic communication.

But if the person has proof of infidelity, any smart person would 'sign under duress' then keep their mouth shut and move on, rather than dealing with a drawn out, contested divorce.. when they will be found as the cause for failure of the marriage.

 

I'm still single for that reason and a few others.

But yeah he should take his proof, get a lawyer and divorce with terms favorable to him.

If he acts fast enough it won't be a long divorce process.

 

Definitely agree with this part. She'd be a real **** to not only cheat on her husband, but to try and contest a divorce. Drawn out divorces are so shitty. My sister refused to sign her divorce papers for months just to be a bitch. Her ex is in the army, and if he gets caught with another woman while separated, he gets in trouble. But my sister is sleeping with half the city and gets a large check when she finally signs. Bullshit.