Wife misled me about past lover

I’ve known for a while that my wife, then gf lied to me about dating someone I vaguely knew. She and I discussed our past lovers and I knew she had gone out with a guy I vaguely knew, I knew this because of her mother calling me his name several times, I played ball against him in HS.
My then gf told me she only met him out one night with a group of friends, that was it. After we married I found out she dated the guy several months and went on beach trip with him and her friends.
First it was her mom accidentally calling me his name even after we married, she still insisted they had never really dated. The I see pictures of my wife and her friends at the beach right before we started dating, it was easy to see from the pictures they were a couple. When I saw these pics at her friends house she panicked a bit and started telling me some of the truth but stopped short of admitting they had been intimate. Why then did you lie about dating him? We had shared our past about people we slept with especially if we both knew them. How would this make you feel?

 

maybe she is so shy to talk about her ex lover .. just forget about man and move on

 

I would be upset after marriage, even engagement, that she won't come clean with the relationship. Being open and honest is the only way a marriage can work. Now, it doesn't matter what happened while they were together. If as a single unattached woman she wishes to have sex with Mr. X it is her choice. Having her mother call you by his name is another issue but that needs to be addressed with MIL. Wife needs to correct her mother but after that you need to take a stand with Mom. Back to the former flame. She may have issues due to the relationship that she doesn't want to relive. Gently approach your wife with that in mind. If you inquire about her past with compassion instead of anger she may open up easier.

 

My wife has shared most things about all of her past lovers except one. He was a special friend, almost like a brother in college. I don't know why she won't open up about him, but she must have a reason, and that's okay.

 

If the pair of you are happy now as a couple then let sleeping dogs lie, as others have said it was before your time and it was only a relationship with one bloke, it's not like she had a secret gang bang with the high school football team or was moonlighting as a call girl is it? Starting to nit-pick over who did what in previous relationships is a recipe for disaster, we can soon go from what can be perceived as big things like she went out with him and didn't tell you, or you slept with so and so, and didn't mention it, right down to silly things like her now telling you she blew a lad from school, or you not telling her you felt a girls tits while on a school trip, just leave things be, there's nothing to be gained and unless things start getting brought up that might cause problems, like, so and so had a biggeer cock than you, or such and such used to swallow when she blew me then just leave it, if you love her it's not worth starting a big row over something silly, after all, it was you she chose to marry.

 

I guess what bothered me was that I asked her specifically if she had slept with him and she lied, she told me she only saw him once out with friends. She asked me the same questions about specific women I had gone out with and I answered her truthfully. I knew when her mother knew the guys name so well that there was more to it than she was telling.

 

Well, I suppose that puts a different slant on it then.

 

Really?
For fucks sake child let it go.
Why the hell does it matter?
She probably didn't tell you because she sensed you are the jealous type and would get upset.
She was right.
You have two choices:
1) Drop it in the past where it belongs and enjoy her.
2) Refuse to drop it, keep stewing about it and fuck up your life.

Your choice

 

I've had this happen with my current bf too. The reason I didn't tell him everything at first is because I thought he'd get jealous of how much I did with my old lovers, since I'm still in contact/hangout with a few of them, but since then I've told him everything. Maybe your wife is the same way, be sensitive in asking her about these things, though i also think she should've let you know since ur married.

 

Things didn’t happen the same way with my ex, but option number two had similarities with her she carried on and pushed me over the edge. I had reached the point I was not able to get hard even using Viagra.
It’s not only a true story but also a warning.

 

She loves still loves him. .?

 

I divorced the lying brat.

 

Lots more options than 2. Pretty silly response.

 

No. She doesn't love him now, and I don't think she loved him then. i think she won't talk about their relationship because it would be embarrassing for him.

 

Hope there were other reasons. than one lover.

 

Maturity in these matters is the key to understanding the past. Everyone and I mean everyone has memories tucked away in their closet. Embrace those times when someone trust you with their past.

 

Past = passed. In the big scheme of things what difference will it make....none. I used to get so hung up about things that happened, didn't happen, wish it would have happened...we got what we got.

 

Nevermind.

 

Yes of course, this had nothing to do with sex it had to do with lying. She lied to me, point blank. I couldn’t trust her after that.

 

Tried that, didn’t work. She lied.