Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

I have musical farts..

 

my feet are on vacation

 

reading a book and got lost

 

I'd definitely go with, I got the shits... this way, your not lying and can be real convincing every time your job or boss works on your nerves... now.. if you want to go to festival, so you don't lie again, tell them you got family matters to attend to and not sure when they will be resolved and they will see you at work when.... ???

my favorite was, I used to tell my boss, I just didn't feel like coming to work and, that alone, usually just stops them dead in their tracks and they don't know what to say back... but that one I did in person as I never gave them a phone to hide behind....

if I had to keep my job and was just late, some car greese on the face does wonders, and if they fire you, collect unemployment and go hang out with your tribe for a few months...

lol

 

Come into work?? That is just morbidly obese

 

undescended testicle

 

sorry im going to be late, the woman needs foreplay

 

my car turned into a transformer and ran away.

 

^^LOL...that was a great one


It snowed so much I cant find my car

 

I can't come into work today because I need to do all my Christmas shopping (online).

 

Im scheduled to appear on Maury today to find out if I am a father

 

I have to get up early to go to Maury and find out if I'm a freak.

 

I need to kill someone

 

I have to run for my life

 

Im out of clean underwears

 

I grew out of all my clothes

 

I am not totally sure where I am currently located....

 

My pipe had something odd in it and left me feeling odd

 

a sasquatch is holding me captive

 

I gotta help Dagaz with her pipe, man...