Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

Im pulling the grass out of the weeds

 

There is a skunk in my front yard.

 

my door is frozen shut..(actually happens)

 

my cat hid my car keys

 

I don't know where I am.

 

A guy (who is always looking for the smallest excuse to fail, by the way) said that his co-worker was complaining about the smell of his hair, ostensibly the result of a shampoo or conditioner. So, rather than switching brands or rinsing a little better, he simply was a no-show because "he didn't want the other workers getting uncomfortable" when he was there. He was fired, of course.

Pretty lame.

 

My mom didn't pack my lunch

 

I had a 2 day fuck fest wit one of my lovers
i couldnt get outta bed
let alone walk for a while
too dam sore

 

my fingers fell off

 

I've still got a viagra erection...

 

my toe polish is still wet

 

lol

I'm about to give birth to Ted Koppel's clone.

 

I fell on my ass and broke my tail

 

the gnome that lives in my closet told me not to go...

 

my pants are broken

 

My foot fell off.

 

swallowed my dentures

 

All my dresses are stained...

 

things i've heard from my co-worker

"my abs hurt. i worked them out too much at the gym"
"i went to bed last night and woke up with what i think is poison ivy all over my legs, i have to go to the doctors"

the abs hurting one is the best

 

because i just posted a 1000th post