Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

pooped on the cat

 

my mom beat me up

 

You look fucked up

 

got carried away eating prunes, couldn't stop and couldn't stop.

 

I'm really sick, wink wink.

 

my snow tires melted

 

evil match stick head burned down my house. Hes on his way over there.. run!!

 

I'm unconscious because I fell asleep with the kerosene heater on

 

Im doing your mom

 

it rained on my bed

 

I fell of the roof

 

i pushed someone off the roof

 

I shrunk the kids

 

I put my tie on too tight, turned red and had missing time.

 

all my underoos are at the cleaners

 

I got abducted by little green hippie midgets.

 

i ate garlic bread for tea last night and now suffering from horrendous trapped wind.

 

the satellite is tracking me

 

i blew my nose...


..off!

 

I got blinded by a traffic light and crashed into an arctic truck.