Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

my eye can smell trouble

 

terrorism level orange today

 

I smashed up my car.....with my truck

 

Mysterious goo

 

the sky is falling!!!!!!!!!!

 

I am Spartacus

 

No one understands me

 

I'd rather go bullfrog hunting.

 

my bitch wont wake up and drive me

 

My butt caused a suction and I couldn't remove it from my new machine

 

price is right called

 

i sneezed and my eye popped out of it's socket

 

I sneezed and my false teeth flew out the window six stories up and by the time I hobbled down to get them, they didn't fit anymore.

 

my belly buttons loose

 

was counting daisy petals and got to 'he loves me not' and couldn't stop crying

 

Im going on a trip to everytown in the Johnny Cash song "I've been everywhere"

 

Doin the Hokey Pokey

 

re-enacting all seasons of "24"

 

Hot Dog Eating Championships

 

I have to paint the moon