Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

my hand is stuck in the mail box....

 

getting my toes and thumbs surgically swapped

 

One word................ Dwarfs

 

i haven't done my 523 push up yet.

fucking asshole

 

I got a turtle head poppin out

 

Zippy the Pinhead is visiting.

 

broke my toe

 

its Sunday....

 

i'm getting sued for a charge of farting and blowing the next door neighbour's offspring over.

 

gotta mow the snow....

 

i need to have my flu jab

 

got scabies....

 

the floor gave way in my front garden and i fell helplessly into a chasm.

 

being chased by a horde of nude women, so I stopped runnin....

 

i got stuck under the carpet

 

I crawled into the glove box in my truck and cain't get out....

 

i fell, and kept falling - and i still haven't landed yet.

 

aardvark glued to my forehead

 

my eyes keep twitchin....

 

I am alergic to asshole bosses. Makes me break out with a bad case of not giving a damn.