Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

have to wait till those posters of me are taken down

 

BBAD and Countrygirl and Christv are throwin a big party....

 

i can't stop eating limes!

 

shop vac sucked my balls off

 

my keys are running around the living room

 

I have an unknown illness

 

i need to go to a farmers market

 

We can be like they are, (don't fear the reaper), baby take my hand (don't fear the reaper)

 

i dont know how to walk on my toes that well

 

Month long sittin' marathon..

 

cotton mouth is sucking in my lips

 

My cat ate my dog

 

the carpet in my house has turned to water

 

talking to Jehovah's witnesses

 

i haven't walked through my froooont door

 

got diaper rash....

 

i've got a penis on both hands where my thumbs used to be

 

my boomerang wont come back

 

I entered the witness protection program.

 

I tripped and smashed in my nose