Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

squirrel grabbed my keys and ran up a tree

 

countrygirl stole my car and drove into the woods

 

im coughing up my lungs

 

I have to make BBAD some chicken soup for his cold

 

Its too cold (I aint that sick..I make stuff up for game threads)

 

I have a cramp

 

my brain is bleeding

 

I wasnt allowed off the school bus..

 

bird flew into the windshield of my car

 

lost my peg leg

 

metlife blimp had to make emergency landing behind my car... i'm blocked in!!!

 

I have an appointment with my gynecologist

 

Im taking a religious holiday, ceremonial nut sack stretching

 

i have gone to find myself

 

my fingers stuck in my butthole

 

I stepped on a crack and subsequently my mother's back broke.

 

i was attacked by penguins

 

stuck in a rut

 

I have to have my pipes cleaned....

 

my knee exploded