Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

my diesel turned to jelly because its so damn cold

 

i'm lost in my bathroom and can't figure how to get out

 

split my pants

 

someone broke into my house and stole all my shoes

 

theres a hole in my bucket dear Liza dear Liza

 

cops are raiding the neighbors house... i've been told i can't leave my house until i get the "all clear"

 

I havent taken a bath in 3 days till yesterday.. I tried to hold out as long as i could, but my eyes were watering..

 

I have to go to a tent revival...

 

my fingers are stuck to the sticky icky

 

lost my left shoe

 

have to drive to canada and steal BBAD's right shoe

 

woke up slightly retarded

 

waiting for an unmarked UPS package

 

couldn't find my bra

 

the bus driver wouldnt let me on

 

excuse me i need to steal my neighbors ugly hummer

 

job?....what job?

 

im reading children books about war

 

My shower was dripping whiskey and I had to drink the overflow.

 

I was banning the last poster..