Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

I broke an ear

 

im extremely stoned and forgot my way.

 

my ear drum is getting re-skinned

 

My cat had a heart attack and I had to take it to the E.R

 

gonna jerk off all day instead

 

airplane crashed into my house

 

just popped an aneurism

 

billy goat ate all my clothes

 

my neck broke

 

freak tidalwave hit my car as i was driving to work, floating in the atlantic as we speak

 

I Have To Finish My Book

 

accidently super glued myself to the toilet

 

can't find my car

 

my meth lab blew up

 

I have a Moob ache

 

i have to move to alaska

 

I have a seizure scheduled for 3 o'clock

 

my parrot has a sinus infection

 

have to clean the earwax out of my nose

 

kidnapped by garden gnomes