Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

I got my tie caught in your daughter's zipper.

 

today is my execution date

 

I got kidnapped by terrorists

 

i locked myself in my room

 

I'm stuck in the future I broke my flux capacitor

 

i was abducted by aliens

 

My water broke

 

Stuck on Planet Cumsontitties

 

Axe stuck in my throat.

 

out of colostomy bags and ziplocks aint cuttin it

 

the dog ate my car keys

 

I fell....and I cant see anymore

 

i have the bird flu

 

I died again

 

cant get of toilet

 

got kidnapped by the mailman

 

i've fallin and i cant get up

 

Having sex again

 

windshield wipers dont work

 

door is frozen shut