why must relationships always have titles...i am guilty of this very offense i hate: getting hung up on someone so much that you feel you almost own them. it goes against everything i believe in, but i've been conditioned by this society to feel like you must label your relationship with someone you love... i feel it is possible for the human heart to love more than one person. i feel it is possible for human beings to "share each other" and not have to feel like we can only be with one person all the time. i feel the time has come for people to love each other unconditionally without the labels, the titles, the bullshit, and to love each other freely and openly, and honestly. meh. i just ended an almost 3-year relationship a month ago, but i didn't really end the relationship; the relationship changed. it's not the end, it's a new beginning. he is my friend now, and i am his friend. we still love each other but in a different way. it's actually quite cool. we still live together right now and since we have this mentality, we are getting along pretty well. we aren't sexual anymore, but we are still affectionate: there is still hugging and a light kiss on the cheek from time to time. we still have very intimate talks and share thoughts with each other. we are still very close. anyway, i guess the whole point of this rambling is that relationships could be so much easier if we took off all these labels and hang-up we have...western society's ideals have completely fucked love over. love is infinite - it doesn't need a label....bleh.
YES! I totally agree! I too am in an 'evolved' relationship that was going for 4 years in circles, we ended it geographically only to follow our dreams. We fully support and love each other and give support, but we also fuck like minxes when we get together! I am also living with a roomate who is my bestfriend, a connected soul and lover and all the time he is trying to label what we are. As if a NAME would give it any more strength! This battle of the title is causing incredibly bad attachments and long talks of "why aren't we together? Why aren't you my GIRLFRIEND? DUDE!!! I DO IN FACT LOVE YOU! Get it through your head already! There are people who have room in their hearts for more than one and that doesn't make them slutty or a bad person. People get so torn aboout labels it's almost depressing. I love and feel love from many arenas of life and I doubt it will ever be sourced through one single individual. Sorry to rant, I just feel that so much of these attachments people have are from trying to organize their emotions into labeled boxes. I say spill the shit all over the floor and see the lovely mess you have before you!
I totally agree too. Yes but with just a notice: it is far better if all the people involved share the same philosophy. I think it's wrong to involve narrow minded people in open relationship. This bother the open minded person and make suffer the narrow minded one. "If you love somebody set them free"
Polyamory is a hot topic these days. Love is not a pie that is divided. It is like an endless spring that is never dininished by sharing. Jealousy is just a lack of self love. Those who can truly love themselves can then love others selflessly, wishing them the greatest happiness without selfish limitations. More Love Less Fear Jim
i've always felt that love is love, and sex is sex.... that you can have sex without being in love, and that when you're in love you want to explore everything with your partner, even all the aspects of sex... even if it is being with a third person (or more)... i tried bringing this up once with my last girl though, and got quite burned by it... so, alls i'm saying is that if you're going to do it, make sure it is with the *right* person for you
meh, well it's not for me anyways Sara's mine And I've got no probelms being selfish when it comes to her...
yeah.... thats the problem, i feel free to be with others and have been, i dont feel it 'takes away' from my love for jose, but still the thought of him making love to another person really gets to me... we've talked about a mainly 'ignorance is bliss' attitude, as in no lying, but no honesty for honesty's sake because it can be cruel.... i think its faulty, but realistic for our emotions. i know in theory i am all with you, but in practice its so hard not to be possessive and insecure, even if those traits dont really show up in other aspects of your life.... definetly something to work on together, but at the moment i feel he's going through a really insecure period, so for his piece of mind i'm not going to explore with anyone else.... at least for a while has anyone who initially whole heartedly believed in this philosophy had an experience to make them change their mind? or anyone who's had a long lasting open relationship?....dont hear many of those.
I would love an open relationship with someone who I trusted enough to take care of himself for my sake, who would be both honest enough to tell me who he'd been with and secure enough to accept the same from me. But I've never really met anyone like that. Not yet anyway. There are a lot of people I'd love to be with, at once, but I know that few to none of them share my ideas, and I accept that as an indication that it's not meant to be.
Liz, the people worth being with don't play the jealousy game. Jealousy is just a poor self image. I find that many people do not open up to poly arrangements until they have seen the dominant paradigm fail them repeatedly, and they essentially all get that experience sooner or later. Help change society by insisting on being treated with love rather than jealousy! Don't accept the advances of those who are too insecure to want the best for you! jim
Thanks man....even with all these proponents of open relationships and free love on these forums, I still wasn't too sure anyone knew exactly where I was coming from. You appear to. I think I'll eventually find an arrangement that's nice, but eventually could be anytime in the near or distant future, and until then, it's been surprisingly hard to get anyone to play with me lately.
Mooka, I have had a long lasting "open relationship"... and married for 27 years. Surprisingly, when we decided both to open the relationship ..abt 20 yrs ago ...then the sexual inuendos with others diminished dramatically. We have had few strong long term relationships ...both her and I. I can answer any questions you may have. Love,
So Tonynaturalist, at the beginning of your relationship with this girl that you eventually went into an open relationship with, do you think you could have imagined that happening at the beginning? Had you tried it before? What about you, Firelip? I really, really want to try this, and I am not sure where to find the people.
