Why is PUSSY used as a bargaining chip?

Oink...

No one has to be exactly alike, but if a man and a woman talked about their views before they became a couple and agreed on everything, then there should be no reason for either of them to compromise. The problem with today versus the 40's and 50's is that back then, each person understood their role in the relationship - so there was no need for compromise. Men brought home the bacon, took out the trash, did the yard work, planned vacations, and everything else as the captain of the family. And equally, the wife played her role as the home maker. Back then there was no compromise, because each of them commanded their respective environments without question. These days with both men and women working, things are a lot more different and competitive between the sexes - which opens the door for more argumentative and "compromising" opportunities to occur.

 

Thats the point. Nobody will ever agree on EVERYTHING. I agree with women taking care of a home and men working, but where is the line? Who makes it? Both partners are equals and therefor equally decide. Roles should be determined between eachother - via compromise.
You truley are an idiot.

 

These household rules were not established just yesterday you Moron. They were instilled and beaten in us as children growing up. Manly duties for boys and womanly duties for girls. And each sex understands their role in the household. That has absolutely NOTHING to do with compromise, because each of them already knew what they had to do long before they even met... That's why you fail miserably grasshopper.

Bottom line, if you need to constantly change who you are as a person to accomodate someone else, then you're with the wrong person. If you hadn't figured that out, then you really are a Moron.

 

I am of that first generation of rebels to this old system. I've had over 50 sex partners and two long-term relationships that did not last a lifetime. So, it is debatable whether my rebellion improved at all on the self-appointed "Greatest Generation" that was my parents (possibly Cuff's great grandparents).

However, I enjoyed the free will to choose my own course, something my parents' generation did not do in great numbers (there have always been rebels, but my generation seemed to have a movement of them). Therefore you have those notorious lifelong marriages - 50th and 60th anniversaries that we see in the news.

But, were they really happy? How many wives stayed in bad marriages with a drunken, cheating, lout because she was programmed to do that? How many women grew old and bitter because she never explored her potential outside of housewife?

I came to my marriage to Brenda late in life. She was 30 and previously married twice and I was 35 and only had a 5-year partnership with Jim. We both came with history and were both making it on our own when we paired. Also, the economy had changed from my father's 'Bread Winner" era, and it took two incomes to survive. We both worked at low-paying jobs we liked and got by.

My sister has been in a long-term relationship with her husband going on 40 years but they have both maintained careers and tho she has raised 4 kids to maturity she is more than a housewife and has been a partner in her marriage.

Somehow this thread has moved from women controlling their men by denying sex to what is a relationship. I am leary of those past relationships that formed in the 1940s because women were not fully franchised in that era. It was actually World War II that liberated women to their potential outside of housewife. When you spend 4 years building bombers and other heavy equipment, you may like that lifestyle better than being your man's cow. Looks like most of the compromise had to be done by men who had antiquated ideas of sex-role assignment.

 

Calm down guys you’re talking about two different things, profezzor_x is talking about compromising who you are, core beliefs and that should never be compromised.
Where as Cuff is talking more about the everyday compromises that two people have to make just to live together.

 

Why do you have to follow 'rules' made by other people in terms of your relationship? If you want to thats fine, but pushing it on others who wish to find a friendly equal that suits them better is wrong.

Learn to read. Looking for reason to call me a moron is fine. Make sure those reasons are at least accurate.
I never said change who you are as a person, because thats not right. On top of that, that isnt compromise. As ive said, compromise if finding a FRIENDLY balance. One that both partners accept and agree upon. Are you saying compromise shouldnt be made at all between two lovers, just because theres a set-in-stone way things should be?

Learn to read.

 

yeah, serious difference between changing who you are and changing what you do.

as I told my last girlfriend, over and over 'you as a person, I wouldn't change a thing. a couple of the things you DO, however, annoy the piss outta me.' (of course, I know it's the exact same on this side. It's how do we deal with the minor annoying crap while keeping the relationship stable?)

Shale...a couple questions for you, man. And I apologize if they sound rude, but they're truly not meant that way...they're things I'm actually curious about from someone with more experience.

Do you think there are advantages now as compared to then to the woman and the man both? Also, Do you see the same problem I do with a lot of people not having a clue what their role in the relationship is, and the relationship going to crap because of it? If you've got advice for us youngsters, I'd appreciate it, because I find myself, at least, facing dealing with a great many liberated women who have little or no use at all for me except to be a walking dick with a heartbeat. I look around and see a bunch of guys being pussy whipped, with it being used as a way to make them heel, sit up and beg, because the women have the attitude of 'well, I've got everything I need, and if I had a good waterpic, I wouldn't even need you.'

I think this is still the thread i was reading, for a few moments it looked like it turned into the 'insult the poster above you' thread.

 

You suffer a extreme case of egotism to believe you're good enough to satisfy a lover in every way.

Sounds exactly what you're doing

 

It is a dynamic as far as I can see between the two individuals as to how they do their relationship. You just have to find the right partner. (or partners if into poly). Comes back to that compromise thing, which you seem to have a grasp of.

I would never have been comfortable being my father, having to make all the money so that wife and kids could live comfortably in the 'burbs. In my late teens I realized I could not do that and resigned myself to living in inner-city rental (since that time they made suburban rental places just as cheap) Hence, I always had relationships with partners who also supported us. At times one of us would be out of work and leaned on the other - that is what relationships are about - but neither me or my partners ever thought of being a stay-at-home.

There was a time after my wife finished nursing school and was an RN, she brought home bigger paychecks than me. That is an issue a lot of guys have a problem with and probably goes back to that old sex role assignment.

I looked at both my relationships as partnerships and not a traditional marriage. And, I always had a sense of freedom while in a relationship - but that depends on the acceptance and tolerance of the partner.

Hence the non-compromise that Profezzor spoke of. Told my wife going in that I was bi - meaning unless she grew a cock I would have to occasionally go suck elsewhere. She understood that. So, I loved the sex with her, but I could always go have a night out with the boys if need be. Which is why I can't countenance pussy-whipped guys begging for some. I'm prolly more like a cat than a dog.

 

Sushi - what's the emotional investment in trying to make Cuff admit to something she's not doing? Because it's honestly starting to make you look like a troll.

If it works between her and her boy, and she's not using it to punish him for not being exactly the way she likes, then obviously it's working for them. Why do you need to 'fix it'?

There's a difference between being sick, or being tired, or wanting to leave sex out of the equation because of an argument (because it can make things worse); and saying 'well, no pussy for you til you buy me a car and apologize for being a prick by telling me I was wrong for something'. Whole difference in attitude.

 

Shale, that's probably one of the most enlightened outlooks on it that I've read. After all, you've pretty much 'been there, done that, and sold tshirts for them'. (teasing tone) IT amazes me just how many people 'don't get it', including some of the women who think they're justified in treating a guy like scum just because she's got the pussy. Modern males do not fare so well, you know. Kinda disgusts me, to be honest, because you've got men and women who have no idea what they really want, which is the worst state to be in when getting involved, as you'll settle for any old common rubbish, instead of what's good for you.

 

Thank you.

And to comment on the first piece, i dont expect to satisfy him 100%, 100% of the time. But that doesnt mean he (or any other man in a monogamous relationship) has "other options" just because he is briefly unhappy with sex that night. I am his only option, he is mine. If im not absolutely perfect in bed he can teach me how to be, but if he resorts to some one elses pussy because im not good enough for him - he shouldnt expect to get mine back. Same applies to me.

 

NP Cuff. Despite my own comments about the matter, I'm simply speaking from my own experience, and don't expect all females to behave the way the ones I've seen have.

 

In my dating experience in past years, I've encountered a variety of women that have had emotional and physical needs. Of course all of them weren't the same, but as we gradually moved forward in our dating status, the one common thing they all shared is that they started to "take control" of the sex - conveniently providing reasons why it's died down, or why not to.

This was usually around the time that I split, because I was refused to "compromise" my sexual appetite. And whether or not these women cared about that was no concern of mine after the second time they decided to use sex against me... or as a bargaining chip.

 

Wise words. No guy should have to put up with that crap.

 

Some people on here are talking frm there own limited experience, namely Sushiosoyum and Profezzor whateveryourname is I forgot. What about the other way around? My husband is off sex lately for some reason or another, he withholds it from me. But there are a 1000 more reasons other than plain control in withholding it. If he has pissed me off immensely I certainly won't just drop to my knees and let him at it, that would be degrading and would throw off our relationship anyhow. Shale has definitely been the most enlightened one in this conversation, Sushio & Prof are just spouting off like egotistical males, which is so boring.

 

We're not talking about guys with sexual impotence or pissing women off here, but yes, that would be another determining factor which also by the way contributes to the 'bargaining" theory. If a woman is willing to put aside her sexual desires to begrudge her partner because of a verbal altercation, or his lack of physical ability, then she IS holding it against him if she's frustrated enough. And chances are, it's not just for one or two days.

Scientific studies show indesputable proof that there is a significant drop in sexual behavior in new marriages with no children within the first year alone. And it's not as if the male has suddenly ceased his sexual drive either. If you're naive enough to think that this is due to a mutual arrangement then you really need to open your eyes.

And if you consider dating 400+ women over the course of 18 years "limited experience", then I don't know what bar of excellence you're rating from.

 

it's a bargaining chip because it works! I mean... I'm not saying it should be stereotyped like it is in the media, but seriously... it works and women should definitely take advantage of that fact - assuming they're the kind of people who take advantage of things. And in reality... it's not like it will convince somebody to do something they really truly would never do - hence calling it a bargaining chip.

 

Sounds like that guy who had a different girl each night.
Couldn't get any of them to go out with him a second time.

(Sorry, couldn't pass that one up. A little Wilt Chamberlain humor )

 

It really only works with a few guys because guys have realized the world is full of other options.

I agree with ProfessorX: When a woman withholds sex it is rarely just for one or two days. Much more common is the week, two week, or longer scenario. Women hold grudges and withhold sex over the most petty of things...

"Did you do the dishes honey?" (Wife)
"Oh no I just made us some dinner though" (Husband)

*6 hours later they're in bed and husband wants some sex*

"Ohh, I'm too tired, gotta get up in the morning!* (Wife)

And that is how it works. Plus women will rarely tell you the truth why they're withholding sex from you. In the above example the wife would never say "I'm not interested in sex because you didn't do those dishes today" because it sounds absolutely absurd...

but they do it all the fucking time!

Well, no complains then when wify comes home to find a pair of sexy panties in the bed that are not hers!

:cheers2: