Why is it so hard?

To truly be yourself? Especially when you are with someone....

 

Because relationships make the people in them change, you become influenced by each other, and in doing so learn so much more about yourself.

 

you're not with the right person

 

Maybe...but C has been with her partner for a long time and has always seemed very happy previously?

Has anything changed?

 

Theres a lot of pressure to act and look a certain way, people get caught up in all of it. A lot is to blame on society creating these idealisms of what is and isn't considered normal so people change to fit that description. Social/self acceptance I guess. And in a relationship...this is just my guess. sometimes you subconsciously or purposely create this false facade in order to impress or keep someones interest and it carries on into the relationship. It's only natural to do and say things to get someones attention and appear worthy of their time. Change is inevitable and a way of life, sadly most of the time it's for the worst.

 

the things you say in some of your posts seem above and beyond a 19 yr old, if you really are that age you are very smart indeed :2thumbsup:

 

I can't not be myself. Too much personality and character.

 

It really shouldn't be hard to be yourself if you are with the right person. Regardless of how long you two have been together, I think you are starting to see many incompatibilities with your partner. People tend to change each other but if it isn't for the better, then it's probably worth reevaluating.

 

Because most people frown upon you masturbating to tentacle porn in their presence.

 

other then the completely justified paranoia of being burned at the stake by village idiots, i don't understand there being any other difficulty about being precisely my true self at all.

of course there IS social and economic discrimination. that's why people identify with whatever religious views they are familiar with their parents and peers professing. but then that's really, ultimately, part of the same thing.

 

Relationships are hard. Change is really hard.

There are times through no fault of either party that change happens or that goals change. Sometimes we grow apart and yet that does not mean that it can not be worked on if both parties wish to continue.

Keep communicating as when that stops there is little hope of solving anything. Time can also give a clearer perspective. At times we can be so in the middle of the muddle we can not see a way past it.

Make a mental list of the good things as well as those that need work. It can sometimes help to remember the things you also really love or admire about the person you are with.

 

I find that most intimate relationships are a joke. I have found it's much better to be casual friends with a woman and just have sex. You can still have feelings for the person and even love them, but every individualistic person needs their space. I am not looking for a soul mate, and I think the idea of one existing is, quite frankly, bullshit.

What defines a proper couple anyway? It's bullshit. It's not even natural as far as I am concerned. No two people are meant to be together for any prolonged period of time. If so, they're probably deranged.

 

Because the self is an illusion.

 

Is it? So individual thought must be an illusion, too?

 

You're my soul mate

 

I suspected it all along. It has now been confirmed.

 

Think of it this way.....isn't it a lot harder to be someone OTHER than who you are? If representing oneself isn't about truth of thought and emotion, than you're making something up, and that requires something else.....like .... acting. Don't we all want to be free within ourselves with no shame or inhibitions.

 

I wonder if your opinion here applies to couples raising children as well?
Does feeling suicidal or grossly alienated from your species constitute 'natural' behavior?

I understand what you are criticizing but an opinion like this could possibly prevent you from proving yourself wrong, Matt. A relationship that does not allow room for personal space is a prison. You are condemning a shared lifestyle situation as an entirety from the point of view that sexual intercourse is it's fundamental, and perhaps I'm old fashioned, but I couldn't disagree more.

 

I'm always myself, but different sides of "myself" become more(or less) pronounced around different people.

For example, when I'm around new people, or if I'm just in public and surrounded by nothing but strangers, social anxiety takes over and I become awkward and shy. I sometimes think this prevents people from seeing the "real me", but the anxiety/awkwardness/shyness is part of the "real me".

Just because your demeanor isn't always what you'd prefer it to be when you're around certain people(whether it be your significant other, friends, or even strangers), that doesn't mean you're not being yourself. It just means you're not showing a side of yourself that you'd prefer to be showing.

 

cause i just took a viagra