I've known this guy for over a year. We totally had a rough start but there's been many, many chances for him to make his intentions known and he hasn't really been clear about it. We've hung out a few times, but we've only been on two dates. Other than that there's been lot of phone conversations and texting marathons and they have been largely flirtatious, but whenever the question of what is the point or purpose of this "relationship" comes up, there is a huge blank. He asked me the question several times (he did it way before I ever did) and I was mostly thinking things were casual, but that he brought it up made me think he had other intentions, but he won't say what his intentions are. On our dates, I have been at the leaning in stage and testing his body language to see how he felt about it and then backing off because he seems tense. And yet, when we are in person our meetings/datings are largely friendly, but on the phone and text they are largely flirtatious. At our last date there was a little more flirting coming from him and some questions again about my intentions...I told him I didn't know and he told me he liked my personality and also that he liked staring at me... So I am just confused.
If you've known the guy for a year, and you like him, and he keeps coming around and calling, I'd say he's attracted to you, but for some reason is worrying about ruining the friendship he has with you by being too forward or pushy. Most guys are a little bit dense about relationships. If you want to move the relationship forward, you may have to make the first move. If you make the first move and its clear you want to take it to the next level, and he doesn't reciprocate, then I've got to wonder if he's just one of those guys who isn't interested in commitment. But even those guys usually want to get laid! Any chance he might be gay? I'd say it's kind of rare for gay guys to use a relationship with a straight woman for "camouflage" these days, because there is not much stigma to being gay any more. I always find posts from women who say they are having trouble finding a boyfriend (or more accurately, "the" boyfriend they want.) From my point of view, attractive women should have no trouble getting guys at all. The problem is that they are awfully choosy about which guy is "good enough."
