Why Doesn't He Want To Have Sex?

Ok so guys, I have a very lazy husband. But can he really be so lazy that he would for that reason often rather jerk off to porn than fuck me? Guys I want your input on this. I know that I have a attractive body, very thin but also curvy at the right places, and I put in good effort to act and look both sexy and cute. So it can't be that he isn't attracted to me, right...? He used to be so crazy about me too.. like an absolutely can't keep his hands to himself-crazy :/

And I truly love him, but this is taking its toll on me by now. Because I'm only 22 years old and does in fact love sex. When we DO have sex it's usually very intense as well. We both are very kinky minded (although I'm worse), and gets off from him being dominant over me. And the way he talks to me and treats me can be a super strong turn on, and make me feel amazing, but it doesn't really get any further than that. For some reason I don't really feel much physically speaking when he tries to take me over the edge by touching me, the few times he has tried to give me oral sex I didn't even like it at all (idk but that might be my fault), in fact, I have never been able to come from what he's doing... While it's certainly not hard to make myself come if I just have the right means... anyway, he just lasts like 3-7 minutes of actual penetration (or is that normal? What would you say?) and as previously mentioned, he rarely wants to have sex nowadays. It's always me who's horny and/or just craving the intimacy. And I really have to tone down myself because I would gladly fuck every day if I could >_< When we were newlyweds we did it like rabbits Every day and many times a day... the record is four times in one day :') I used to be totally spoiled at that department, haha...

I don't even know exactly what I want to say, but i'm just so sexually frustrated and don't know what to do with myself.
Oh and we've both agreed to try to not watch porn when we're away from each other. In fact he was the one who was the most intent on that. So I can't get myself off in that way either... but at the same time he has had a problem with staying away from it since a long time ago. And when I asked why he so rarely wants to have sex nowadays, he admitted to regularly watch porn and therefore have no sexual appetite left for me or something. That wasn't exactly how he said it but you get the gist. And I'm personally kinda okay with porn, as long as masturbation doesn't like completely take him away from me! >.>

 

Try suggesting watching porn with him. One thing which is really horny is for the man to have his hands tied while you tease his penis with your hands, bringing him to peaks of ecstasy. I learned this from the book "The Joy of Sex." I got my ex girlfriend to do this, and the reversal of the usual power-dynamic is such a turn on. If you can get him to do this and bring him to orgasm and ejaculation he should be sweet as honey afterwards.

 

He might be avoiding sex with you because he knows/thinks he can't satisfy you. Just a guess.

So, you might need to start masturbating regularly. Doing it for yourself will allow you to explore your body to determine what works best for you. When you know what stimulation works the best, teach him how to do it. Communication is key.

Masturbate in front of him. Masturbate with him. Mutual masturbation can be fun too.

Buy yourself some sex toys. Use them with and without him.

I'm very jealous of your husband. It's my wife that has virtually no libido to speak of and you declare that you would gladly fuck every day. He's a fool.

 

No, i'm guessing less talking is the key with this one

 

Oh my.. Thank you for your reply and advice but I don't think I could do that >_< I'm submissive and following in almost every part of my life, while he is a natural born leader. I couldn't try to take over the control over him like that, I wouldn't dare... And besides, I don't have any troubles with bringing him to the edge. I'm good at blowjobs, he fucks my throat and I'm good at taking it. I can usually make him come exactly when I want like that... Or maybe I'm wrong, Idk...? But I don't think I would be able to switch like that. That is soooo far from my personality and how we are in the rest of our lives.

 

Hmm... yeah that could be. I've noticed that he has a bad habit of simply avoiding things that makes him feel bad, he really hates to fail at something :/

Good tip! Thank you.. yeah, I'm sure that it would help if I knew my body even better!

I would love to try some toys! But I've brought it up once and he just didn't say much and didn't seem excited. I wish he was a bit more experimentative. But your right, communication is important so I guess that I could try to bring it up again

Aww that's too bad, I know how it feels T_T Hm it seems to be a much more frequent problem with wives who doesn't have much of a sexual appetite. I really don't understand them, many of my fellow women!

 

That's interesting, why do you think so? :O

 

shave

 

Haha I'm very meticulous about keeping myself presentable... and make sure to shave to his liking

 

i think is thinking that he he might not satisfy you...that,s why he is avoiding you ..

 

Love Your Posts Brad......LOL.....



Cheers Glen.

 

i just can't read that.

 

You said your a sub when he is watching porn give him a blow job no talk just do it. Tell him it's your job to make him happy.maybe try anal you can play with your clit while he's in you.My ex couldn't get off from oral an it took a lot for intercourse I always wanted to fuck her ass an after years of asking she let me she rubbed her clit an the next we knew she was cumming an squirting she begged me to stop because she was cumming so hard.
Just saying

 

Perhaps he’s taking drugs that ruin his libido and doesn’t want to admit it?

 

Sex isn’t the most important thing but it is important. And if your husband continues to ignore your needs, I see your marriage becoming pretty unhealthy and unhappy. It’s not just the lack of sex but that he doesn’t wish to try to meet your needs at all and just take care of his own. Before you stay in a sexless marriage, ask yourself if this is what you think you could tolerate for a lifetime? Sorry you’re going through this.

 

It's weird but sometimes watching porn gives us (man) more pleasure after jerking off than having actual sex, I can say that 'coz i've been there, I watched porn every night before goin to sleep and it's like addiction to me. hahaha. It could actually cause losing of sex appetite but try to initiate more often and try to convinced him not to watch porn again (though it's impossible that he wouldn't watch ever hahahah)

 

I think he's hooked on porn and jerking off enough to it where he is not interested in sex. I say get in front of this before it gets out of control - you make sex happen, you satisfy him before the porn does. I suggest a first thing in the morning blowjob - that way he is thinking of you all day, and not thinking of getting a porn fix. Then build on that.

 

This is a good idea, I like this!

 

It's possible that he just want's a quick release sometimes. Sex can be very overwhelming and time consuming if you make it that. For example, when my wife and I get together it's usually a full blown production. She showers, I shower, put on some music, kiss and caress, she gives me foreplay, I give her foreplay, sometimes 69 as well, then we have sex sometimes 4-5 different positions. Maybe I go down on her one last time - get he picture? It could be over an hour before we are done. For busy and tired people sometimes you just need a quicky by yourself which can be much quicker than a quicky with your wife.