Why do we have to pay for everything?

People are sexist, and people are racist, and worst of all people are stupid and selfish.

 

My dh doesn't beg for it. He just pouts, on the rare occasion I don't want to.

 

well, my husband loves me dearly, but after a steady diet of red m&m's, he's wantin' some green one's, if you get my incredibly lame drift.

 

No, I don't.

 

RE : why is it, then, that i have to give men credit for the ones who are willing ot make a compromise for the greater good and fair treatment, but you're unwilling to give credit for women who are also working to bring and end to an unfair practice?

I'm sorry if I've been unappreciative of your efforts. Thank you for everything that you've done. It's just that you seem to be saying that because you don't treat men like bags of money, men don't have the right to be upset that most other women do.

 

Maggie, I'm glad that you see the problem. And I'm glad that you see how the two relate to each other. Men's Issues and Women's Issues often meet at a paradime that is oppresive to the freedom of both. Just as women were seen as baby factories that aren't any good outside of the home, men were seen as money machines good for nothing but bringing home the bacon. Neither is recognised as a wholistic human being.

These problems are best dealt with by considering how they effect both sides of the equation.

 

prehaps you're too young.

 

but i'm not just saying that i'm the only one who doesn't treat men like bags of money. i've got a whole generation of friends and relatives who are also known to split expenses equally or take turns buying the dinner.

but for a simpler way of dealing with a woman who doesn't think she should be kicking in for the entertainment, you have two options: find a girl who shares your values and will reciprocate, or do something cheap and fun.

 

Well, I am sure you are different but no girl buys any flowers for a guy (and sends to him) , its the other way around always. Helping him with his laundry?- well that is in "maybe" zone.

and also, almost all girls nowadays depend heavily on guys- from what I have noticed anyway... I am talking about college girls... but also women in general also depend heavily on guys- which is okay, but you see this attitude also makes them feel like guys have to pay when they are taken on dates.

 

*sigh* some women in fact, DO, send the flowers. though they usually don't appreciate it THAT much. i find a stainless steel tire pressure gauge or some such thing is better than some roses and a stupid teddy bear.

and i know from experience that men are every bit as capable of being money-grubbing assholes. the question is, how are YOU going to address it? what standards are YOU going to set up? or is the matter not truly important enough to you when weighed against the need to get laid? because i bet you good money that these women have their own standards for feeling appreciated before handing out the honey pot. everyone's standard is different. what are you going to teach your daughter, should you have one?

 

and this is true for 99% of all women and guys compete and strive only to get ahead - the survival of the fittest my friend... the entire society revolves around pleasing women.

 

I'd say the major problem here is that you boys need to learn how to tell the difference between girls and women. A woman shoulders her share of responsibilities and costs willingly when and how she is able and dosen't rate a relationship with a cash register alone.

 

yeesh. what a terrifying thought. while i protest unfair accusations and blame throwing, women are a terrible lot much of the time.

 

Way I see it, if ya don't have any kids to support then you can pay for the damn dinner, tix,whateva so I can go home at the end of the night, pay the sitter more than it costs to get into a concert and put dinner on the table in my kitchen.

peace

 

it's a shame people are bent over who pays for what. If you are really intrested in someone then the date should be fun and the time you spend together far outways how much the date costs and everyone gose home happy and not fing broke. Because ovbiously spending a ton of cash on a stranger is just stupid. Money does not buy love it only supports a superficial need. Women and men both do your part to pay and be payed for throughout a relationship and everything will be even.

 

I worked in a local sweat shop for a couple years. There was this little sewing circle in the room next to the one I worked in. Literaly, a bunch of women sitting and sewing and gossipping. It was a pretty liberal bunch, as people go. Mostly college kids, working for a business that sells hand made, low-poluting fine furnishing. And I would overhear them say things that would truly, truly offend me. The one that stand out the most was "the next guy I date, I want him to have a car. Not a cheap piece of shit, either. A real car." And none of her friends batted an eyelash when she said it. Now that was a group of women in a demographic that is the least likely to be into stuff like that.

Kinda like Dancer Annie coming in here and telling us to take dating tips from Wil Smith. You don't see too many men telling groups of women to go buy them stuff if they want to get laid.

RE : but for a simpler way of dealing with a woman who doesn't think she should be kicking in for the entertainment, you have two options: find a girl who shares your values and will reciprocate, or do something cheap and fun.

Sheesh! I feel like we're going round in circles. If you're sick of having a low-paying job because you're a woman, you have two choices. You can find a higher paying job, or you can just get used to being poor. Oh but wait, there aren't enough high-paying jobs to go around, and maybe you don't want to be poor! The other choice, of course, is to get together and start complaining about it, and maybe try to change cultural standards instead of blaming ourselves. Now there's a novel thought! Oh, wait, no it's not. Feminists thought of that a long time ago. They just seem to have trouble applying that reasoning to men. Or at least you do.

 

oh, please. i just happen to think that in a world where there ARE women who aren't expecting men to pay for everything, you can find some. ALSO, bitching alone doesn't get the job done. sometimes you gotta be more proactive. and you'll be more proactive and effective if you look for the pussy that doesn't need to be paid for. me complaining about being unable to get a high paying job doesn't mean dick if i dont' have the skills for one in the first place. i have to be prepared for it. i have to work for it, i have to demand it. or, yes, i can sit around and be pissed about staying poor when the opportunity passes me by.

 

There was this one woman I dated for a little while. Picked me up while I was working a poll booth. Took me out to dinner. Bought me pizza and iced cream. I was broke, and she wasn't, so she paid.

There was a woman I was dating last spring. She had an apartment and I didn't, so I stayed at her place a lot. I would cook her dinner and bring her flowers that I grew myself. And she would buy me alcohol.

So yeah, it happens. But it doesn't happen often enough.

Well, there ARE high paying jobs available for women. Just not very many of them. So when there are a bunch of women that have skills and work hard, some of them are just going to have to sit out in the cold. And that's when you start talking about demanding.

People gather statistics about women's rate of pay compared to men's, and recognise it as a problem. I wonder what the statistics would look like, if anyone bothered gathering them, on how much men spend in relationships compared to how much women spend. I wonder how much it would take to make you recognise that there is a problem.

 

Agree and there is nothing wrong with being up front about the money thing - like - I want to spend some time with you but I'm tapped out - what would you like to do that does not take bread?

 

who's forcing you to accept women who won't pay their way? seriously. it's not like you don't have a choice. comparing the wages that women are forced to take for their livelihood to the women you CHOOSE to date is kinda assinine. and do you actually read what i write, or do you just look for the first point to disagree with?