Why do we have to pay for everything?

What is wrong with this picture? I know some thing is wrong with this but I just can't figure out what. Lets say I am going to get a girlfriend, I have to pay for everything!. There was a discussion once about why some guys dont 'try' , thats because we realize its not worth it.Getting a girlfriend is losing hard earned money my friend. I don't know how to do a poll thing, but anyway what are your arguments on this?

 

I don't expect a guy to pay for everything, but I do expect at least a 50-50 split. It's nice if he picks up the first bill (since my first dates generally consist of coffee, it'll cost him a whole $2 to be gentlemanly). My last bf never bought me supper or coffee or anything, and split dessert once. I took him out for supper three times or so, so that was a little frustrating - not that he wouldn't pay for everything, but that he didn't even think to offer sharing the bill or paying next time. I even said things like "I'll get it this time, and you can grab the bill next time we're out, ok?" and he'd suggest we go out for food again, but didn't pay, arrg. That was an unbalanced relationship though, there were a fair number of problems with it, not just bill payment issues.

 

Isn't that nice.

Well, a lot of women expect to be treated "like a diva/goddess/whatever"

If you won't shell out $50 for her, she'll find someone who will.

 

You don't have to get that kind of girl.
I remember when I was younger I understood that guys didnt have a lot of money I personaly like things that have tought in them like picked flowers from a garden to put in a vase or a letter...oer a hamp necklace with prety beads or if my man cooked me something. hose things are simple enough.

 

Imho:

If you have to pay for everything then she's not the right kinda girl


~

 

Goes back to a time when women didn't work outside the home, ie. get a salary. So they didn't have much moola in pocket.

Times have changed but mindsets lag a bit.

If the woman you are interested in has a job and your interest is a bit more long lived than the good ol romp, then you might ask her how she feels about dutch treat. If she doesn't have a job, isn't an heiress, doesn't have access to her trust account, then you should just pony up or investigate ways of having fun for cheap.

 

I dont expect my man to pay for everything. I expect him to meet me half way. Sometimes I find it really frustrating when we're at his place and we go out to get chow, and he 'accidentally' leaves his wallet home, or he has no food or money , so I end up buying something for us to eat. That pisses me off.

What bugs me is the fact that I'm expected to so most of the work and paying. I'm expected to do the travelling, I'm expected to stay at his house because, even though he smokes like a chimmeny, My house it too far away and the smoke in it brings on his asthma....

okay I know that was a tangent, but I'm really upset right now, and just the very notion that you think you have to pay for everything bothers me, because as a woman, I constantly make a point of paying for my own meals, and my own drinks, and I never expect presents, or ask him to buy anything for me. What would be nice is if he actually met me in the middle some time...

 

RE: okay I know that was a tangent, but I'm really upset right now, and just the very notion that you think you have to pay for everything bothers me, because as a woman, I constantly make a point of paying for my own meals

Maybe YOU do, but MANY women consider feminism to be they can wear pants if they want to and smoke cigars if they wish but you'd better open the door for them and pay for their drinks cause they're ladies. Feminism: what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine.

 

Damn, Iron Goth. You make a lot of good points, but you make them very abrasively. It's probably because you're so angry.

Look, ladies. I know that, this being the hipforums, and this being the Men's Issues forum that you're coming to, most of the ladies here are going to be more open minded than the standard American female.

But that doesn't negate the fact that in the majority of the population, we're expected to pick up the tab. And those of us who refuse to suddenly have trouble getting laid. We're here to share each other's pain.

And Iron Goth said this very abrasively. But feminism really isn't doing everything it could to address this, publicly or within itself.

 

RE: Damn, Iron Goth. You make a lot of good points, but you make them very abrasively. It's probably because you're so angry.

I'm tired. I'm a crankly old man who's just sick of sugar coating rank bullsh*t.

 

..

 

dave paid for our first outing and the next. so i purchased gifts for him, sent him flowers and made up for it in several ways, including helping him with his laundry. just because you're chasing lazy grasping bitches doesn't mean we're all horrrible.

what exactly is your criteria for choosing a woman, seriously? because if you're wanting a woman to act like a hooker, you better be happy with paying up...

 

i never feel i have to pay for everything. but i like doing it because i think its nice. and when going out for a meal its easier if one person pays. even though ive never really had any money it was something ive always done. i dont mind if the other person does pay though. i know some people are uncomfortable about it. but its only money. they print more and more money every day. being able to spend time with someone is worth way more than any money.

 

you know, i've taken friends along on trips with me to different places, paying their way, because i'd rather have the joy of their company than a few extra dollars in my pocket. but if you don't feel that way, don't pay their way.

 

i agree with dharmamillo, if you have to pay for everything, than you've got the wrong sort of girl.

the first date, especially, should be split... you might not like each other by the end of the night, so it's not like she can "hit you back later," or whatever.

i pay most of the expenses in my relationship. i make more money, so i don't mind. i pay the bill when we eat out most of the time, and my man will drive to the restaurant or cook dinner the next night. this past spring he took me to florida, and this summer i took him to jamaica. even when i wasn't making the money i am now, there weren't any scorecards or "you owe me...!"'s. we do what we can for each other.

 

For women to have Equality, It has to be all or nuthin!
Whoever does the asking out, should pay.

 

though i suppose an argument can be made regarding the rates of pay the man and the woman receive...but i agree, whosoever asks, pays. which means i usually pay. but it's easy to have a good, cheap time.

 

RE: dave paid for our first outing and the next.

Ah, so as a result, all women expect to pay their own way or at least half.

 

I once dated a girl from a very wealthy family. Her dad was CEO of some chemical company. It was almost impossible for me to impress her with anything or any type of exciting date.


Once, for the first time ever for me, I actually took her on a date in a white streatch limo, with expensive wine, to a fancy restaraunt. I even payed for an extra hour for the limo to take us to the movie store to rent a movie at the end of our date. I found out that was nothing special for her that she often takes a limo when she goes out, even when she was in high school.

She really was a sweet girl who wasn't seemingly high maintenance or materialistic. But, the "norm" for her was so much different from the "norm" for me. She didn't realize how hard it was for someone who really wanted to show her a good time, and to do something special relative to her unrecognized "spoiled" past.

 

yeah, go ahead and completely disregard the rest of the text. it's typical of you.