Why did the hippie drown?

Because he was too far out man.

 

You need to post that in morrows kids joke post.

 

Hahaha yeah.

 

Why didn't the hippie with an attitude sweat in the summer, because he’s cool – fool




Hotwater

 

A hippie walks into a bar with a toad on his head. 'What the hell is that?' asks the barman. The toad replies, 'I don't know – it started as a wart on my ass ...

 

A hippie goes to work in the morning.

 

We long for the day when the motive of hippies is no longer questioned.

 

Where's the punchline?

 

Haha! Fuck!

 

A seal walked into a club.

 

Two Hippies are walking down a railroad track stoned. One Hippie says "This is a really long fucking staircase!" The other Hippie says "I don't mind the stairs, it's this low fucking handrail that's killing me."

 

Two hippies are walking down the street when between two buildings they see a dog licking itself, one says, "I'd like to do that" the other says "Go ahead and try, but he might bite you"

 

How do you know a hippy has been staying at your house? He's still there.

What did the hippie say after the drugs wore off? 'Man, this music sucks!'



You Might Be A Hippie If ...

Your hair contains a fully functional eco-system. (Nope)

You've ever put a flower is someone's hair. (Yup)

You child is named after a celestial object. (No kids, they cost too much, a dog is cheaper and it don't talk back)

Answering "what's your favorite Dead song?" takes five minutes. (Nope)

Breaking up with your girlfriend leaves you homeless. (Left my first hubby and I was homeless for a year, an old motorhome did the trick and it was fun)

You carry a picture of Gandhi in your wallet. (Nope)

You're at a funeral and you light a joint after the eulogy. (Nope, don't smoke it)

You don't object to being labeled a hippie. (Not at all)

There's people you consider family and you don't know their last name. (Yup)

Half your funiture is bean bags. (Some of it is)

You're always getting pulled over and searched , and you're white. (Nope, never been pulled over sept once when I cut off a cop on a highway in the dark, a warning and some cool chat did it)

Out of habit, you pass your cigarette to whoever’s sitting next to you. (Nope)

You name you children Bud, Herb, and Mary-Jane. (no kids, they smell funny)

You roll perfect cigarettes. (Nope)

You're still waiting for those flashbacks. (Nope)

People you never met before ask if you can get them some weed. (Yup, had it happen)

You think 'All You Need Is Love' was written by Ghandi. (Nope)

You can fall asleep in the mud under the rain. (Had to do something similar in boot camp)

You trespass onto private property to pick flowers. (Done it)






Ok, I have two beanbag chairs and three beanbag foot stools,,, but that's not a whole half of my furniture,,, and I have crossed a property line to pick flowers and I don't mind being called Hippie.

Edit. I added the bits that are really me.

 

Hehe...

You've ever put a flower is someone's hair.

Answering "what's your favorite Dead song?" takes five minutes.

You're at a funeral and you light a joint after the eulogy.

You don't object to being labeled a hippie.

You're always getting pulled over and searched , and you're white.

Out of habit, you pass your cigarette to whoever’s sitting next to you.

You roll perfect cigarettes.

You're still waiting for those flashbacks.

People you never met before ask if you can get them some weed.

You can fall asleep in the mud under the rain (probably but not tested!).

You trespass onto private property to pick flowers.

 

Yeah right, a hippie with a wallet :toetap05:

 

I'm a bit hippie and I have always had one. We even had em when we were kids. Mind you I know a guy who is really hippie and he has one he made out of duct tape, looks pretty cool, then he has to make another one after it gets worn out.

 

How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Hippies don't screw in light bulbs they screw in sleeping bags.

 

What do you get when you have 32 hippies around a camp fire?


A full set of teeth.

 

Haha! Brilliant!

 

A hippie dies and goes to the Pearly Gates. St. Peter looks him up, and says, "I'm sorry, but you'll be going down to Hell." The hippie, astounded, peers through the gates and sees God walking in the distance.

"God!" he says. "What gives? Remember that time I was tripping on acid? I saw you, and you said we'd be in Heaven together forever!"

God thought for a minute, then said, "Oh yeah, but I was drunk."

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1 more>
Q what kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
A yours.
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Man,that aint nice- -