Why can't I just like playing tie up ??!!

I liked playing that with my girlfriend before I ever even heard of the term bdsm. Before the internet. I am not dominant or submissive or any of those other labels and words. With all my girlfriends in life we always took turns at who got to be the tied up one. I would suggest the activity and so far never met anyone who doesn't like to play. Haven't had that many girlfriends in my life but still its 100%.

I don't know, I just don't like "official" bdsm invented by the porn industry or who ever became the self appointed people in charge of all those labels and words and how to do it "correctly"

Playing tie up is the best game ever, makes bedroom time/ foreplay last much longer and definitely a turn on.

 

Don't worry about labels and what others think, and enjoy!

 

Call it whatever you want and works for you

 

Two of the best books on the subject .

I just cant tie knots full stop lol

 

Tying up and blindfolding is one of my favorite fun things to do! The trust, domination, control and enhanced sensations due to anticipation are extremely erotic. It's not always done in our bedroom, but when it is, those sessions last a long, loooong time!

 

I have never tried tying up before. I have used handcuffs with my girlfriend before. I know what you mean about being labelled though. I think sexual preference is such a mix theres far too many variants to have labels for them all.

 

The "B" in BDSM stands for "bondage". The word means: "sexual practice that involves the tying up or restraining of one partner." It's what you do. You say that you associate the activity with "bedroom" and "foreplay", so it involves sexual arousal for at least one of you. You are engaging in the dictionary definition of "bondage," the B in BDSM.

Even if you don't consider any of the rest of it to apply, it isn't an all-or-none proposition. BDSM is a catch-all that covers most kinks that involve power exchange or explicit power balances. What you do falls squarely within BDSM.

Call it whatever you like, but what you do is bondage - tying and being tied.

Your objection is like saying that you fly a lot and stay in hotels, but you don't like people saying that you "travel" because you never board a train. To each his own, and call it whatever you want. However, the frequent flyer does, in fact, travel.

 

All i meant was i haven't used ropes before. Tying up is to do with ropes, i dont have any objections.

 

Love it. She's tied spread eagle to a four poster bed, blind fold, and noise cancelling head phones. Loved using and pleasing her. Then she'd do the same for me. Gawd I miss those days.

 

we do the same thing. Takes away all of your senses except for pleasure. Actually I want to tonight now that I’m Thinking about is haha

 

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A possible way around that is too loosely tie say silk scarves around her wrists so she can slip them out if need be . I am assuming that there is not psychological reason here from her past that is forcing her to object.

 

Exactly. No senses except for the physical aspects. Not quite BDSM, but a little ice play is an added pleasure.

 

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I would try and find the reason just in case you accidently do something and she freaks out . I am just wondering if she had a dodgy experience with a previous partner ?

Restraining doesnt hurt at all unless the restraints art too tight . I just think your missing out on a lot of fun .

Just curious does she object to restraining you ?

 

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Maybe he tried to tie her up against her will .

Yeah I think your better being safe and leaving it and having it as a boundary . Shame but thats life .

 

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My newest FWB likes to get put on her belly and have her hands held together behind her back and right above her ass. When I tell her what I'm going to do to her, she tells me to just hold her hands and do it. So, we talked about handcuffs and ropes and she's nervous but just wants her hands held tight while she's getting whatever is on the menu. Work in progress.....

 

Please keep us informed!