Why can't I ever get ladies?

you seem to have a much different idea of what self confidence is than I do.

 

I think it's a misnomer. I can't conceive of self-love without love for another (and for life).

And what I'm trying to say is that there are plenty of people without self-confidence that are in high-demand by the opposite sex. Why?

Because what matters in the individualistic notion of self-confidence is status. Everything else becomes irrelevant, at that point (bandanas, and being in touch with your body notwithstanding).

That's why I suggested that the OP immerse himself in a community of friends in which relationships are not status-denominated. He will find acceptance (and get laid) then whatever his faults.

 

well like I said, your idead of what self confidence is and what it means does not match my idea. I think we just see things very differently when it comes to people and relationships.

 

Thank-you...status and immersing oneself in status free cliques ,self confidence,etc....sounds like a lot of work..if you decide to go that route then do it without the bandana....substitute ''the prize'' for ''ovaries'' in the quote above and throw the bandana away.....................................................................................................................look...go to the bar with an 8 ball you will get laid for sure

 

Have more confidence. I don't mean proud, I mean sure of yourself.
Physically, you could change a few things if you wanted to. My suggestions are groom your beard. You could keep it full and widespread like you have it, but trim it so it looks like less growth. This'll look more sexy and less teddy bear.
Getting some exercise will help too, make your face thinner and bring out your features.
Other than that, you look good. I like the glasses.

 

There is never an end to the game of "self-improvement." Once he gets more in touch with his body, or loses the bandana, people will find another fault in him. And, after he "fixes" that fault, there will be another...and another, and another ad nauseum.

Once he becomes confident, he will be deemed arrogant. Once he tones his arrogance down, he will be deemed too cool and detached.

Buddha himself is not good enough to get laid according to that way of thinking. But Donald Trump is...

Trust me, I've been down that road. Eventually I learned to manipulate the outward signals of status to pick up chicks. That happened in my late 20s and it was a period of poignant despair in my life. Today, I'm seeking community through the things that I love (as opposed to for-profit self-improvement).

The OP is an imperfectly perfect, sovereign entity in and of himself. There is no use finding fault in him. What he needs is the act of our acceptance. He laid his heart bare to us, and in my book that makes him braver than we who give advice.

 

what he needs is his own acceptance.

 

That's true. But without Big Acceptance, self-acceptance is masturbation in front of a mirror. And Big Acceptance starts with not following any of our self-improvement advice and following his own path.

 

oh is that your advice to him?

 

It is there to be ignored.

 

I'm sure it will be.

 

The important thing is that I accept him. NOW.

 

actions speak louder than words.

 

Then fuck him. I'm not his target audience.

 

I lol'd.

 

Yeah i think you are very good looking

 

Ehem I guess what it boils down to is, I am very confident in and of myself, but I've just never gave a damn how any one else felt about me or the way I dressed, etc etc. I don't want a woman who only likes me because of my looks, thats a superficial love, I want a woman who loves me for my personality and my looks, because both are a big part of me. If a woman can't love me for who I am then she's obviously not worth my time or energy. But obviously this entire mindset is one of the biggest reasons I can't seem to find me a girl. No worries tho I've got this lovely lady from Michigan I'm talkin' to currently, that may work out, guess we'll see

 

Bingo! :cheers2:

 

LOL then take up something you like - a sport or martial art, for example. Hell, go to the gym - lots of women there. The only drawback to the gym is if you haven't been working out, chances are the hot chick standing next to you will be lifting heavier weights than you are. Talk about a blow to the male ego! On the other hand, yoga class tends to attract oodles of females IME.