Why Am I In Charge

my whiny bitch complaint is totally selfish

some background:
in the last 2 years my husband has had pericarditis (swelling in the ventricles of the heart) h phylori (a GI thing) viral meningitis (seriously wtf) strep (which damn near killed him) and now pneumonia. and no one seems to be concerned about the healthy wife who has to drive her husband to the ER or call an ambulance because he cant stay conscious enough to get to the car. did i mention with that meningitis they fucked up the spinal and he has permanent nerve damage but until we knew that he was losing spinal fluid and his brain was sitting on his skull...and we had to rush him to the hospital a day after he was discharged, he spent a week there in a bed and no one noticed his brain was on his skull they just gave him more drugs for the pain until it went away,

well now he is in bed with pneumonia...that same day the tire on our onlyand shredded. my cousin who is my backup ride drove off of a cliff and has no car and lives in the camper outside the house

soooo my complaint is that i gotta take care of all these people and that i am so sick of it and i just want to be normal and get hammered. i also care for 4 dogs (3 aren't mine) 4 cats (only one not mine) and the entire house that get this 9 people live in. (4 bedrooms) i also cook dinner for all these people every night and drive kids to school (well i will again once we have another car)

i get texts to change the channel because the remote is lost from one room away.
when i make myself food i make extra for my cousin and husband because they cant do it
and i deliver that food
i am just tired of watching the love of my life almost die in front of me and i am so sick of no one even acknowledging that i might be a human and have feelings!!!

i know, i am healthy, no broken bones, i was not just in a car wreck...but FUCK i am also feelings feelings and i think that's damned okay

 

Dump the dogs and cats, you don't need them.
Dump everyone apart from your husband, maybe dump him too.

Or just move without telling anyone.
At 25 you should be having fun, not a slave to everyone else.

 

thank you!!! .......................HOWEVER
i am the one who had a baby at 15 and graduated at 16....one could argue i did this to myself...i knew when i started the post i was being selfish....i just GRRRR lol but thank you
if my hubby didn't walk on the water of my soul i might dump him but to find sexual emotional and humor compatibility? i am not tossing that out
the animals....as much as i hate it, are also totally my fault they might not be mine but i had a hand in their being part of the household....i know i am being stupid ridiuclous and that essentially i did this to myself and that the reason it isn't fixed is also something i did to myself....i just wanted a platform to bitch out on because some days...i really hate what i chose for my life path.. but to be clear, i did all of it to myself and the spot i am in now is years in the making and i can see that. i just wanted someone to be on my side...please don't stop being on my side....please just like fake bullshit support and then some hateful things lol
i do love the internet, only place you can say "hey i am without a doubt wrong, but hear me out anyway" and people hear you out (or read you out, whichever the correct verb is)

 

Almost every woman i know had children when they were between 13 and 20 ..... it's entirely normal for most of the world.

 

olddude2. you are correct. except in this country, you're right its normal, that doesn't mean accepted. When i was 15 it wasn't treated normal. i was cajoled, chastised, disowned, rumored about and hated....which...also, is normal, at least in small town, right-wing USA hell....where i live

 

olddude2 i like your signature....but noah had a lot of help, and he was hammered drunk for most of the construction of the ark...

 

hang in there Luna

 

thanks the king of jo!!!
so i press quote and get nothing and i hate the 2 letter recognition.
sooooo everyone gets a lovingly decided pagan, yoda, slash harry potter name....
it will work as my pneumonic device to recall specific details so i can be the best and john numbers..that will be your name in my memory now
jphn1234567891011121314152627282920
thank you for your response.

 

jo king, at first i thought your profile picture was a uterus....took a minute to realize it was Christ. nice pic!!!! i like that it made me think


then i realized the king of jo was only joking....and the pun hit me.

 

2 of my step daughters school friends already had children at age 15.

 

*mutters* "stupid area of internet hell and the quote button"


it isn't uncommon, as i said...to say having kids young isn't normal is incorrect. What i said was it isn't ACCEPTED

yes numerous girls have babies young. my own grandma had a child by her father that she gave up. i am not ignorant, albeit inexperienced. the STIGMA is really all the difference. i could care less if you know a girl who had a baby young in a culture that allows loves, respects and goes for it...live that life......just...i cannot count the ways...just like everyone who feels stigmatized, no one but the people who know..can know...so just RAWR (which means i love you in dinosaur)

sooo RAWR

 

Meh, who is ever accepted by everyone ?

There's always someone to get bitchy or judgemental about some action you to

Who gives a shit

 

i do and it is my ultimate downfall. but i definitely care

 

I'm not sure if 211 (www.211.org) could help you, but it might be worth checking into.

 

So you're also planning to become a psychiatrist, and start school soon. My impression is that it's fucking hard to do, since I think you have to get both a medical degree as well as a degree in psychology. You can make big bucks if you can do it.

On the other hand, quite a few psychiatrists become disillusioned. Whatever value psych meds have, they are also poisons to some degree. At best, they are necessary stabilizers that also have side effects, and shortening the life span of the patient is often one of them.

Taking on the burdens of a tough degree program and being caregiver to multiple adults, children, and animals sounds like a recipe for disaster to me.

 

You cant really depend on anyone to care about your feelings..except yourself. Take some time out and just feel, allow yourself to be weak on occassion because being a strong person all the time can be a pain in the ass. Lock yourself in the bathroom and cry. Aint no shame.

 

Why can't they do this for themselves? Do they help you out at all? If not then maybe let them go hungry for awhile.

 

my cousin broke her heel bone and bruised her ribs. my husband is making a full recovery but his fever was so high that he was fainting and the antibiotics and ibuprofen weren't getting it to break until last night. pneumonia is a little easier to kill in a healthy adult male than a heel bone is on anyone so that is good

it is very likely a recipie for disaster. I am hoping that once I start school the people I live with will realize shit isn't getting done and step up, if they don't I might have to actually try confrontation for once

i still cant get the stupid quote button to work. i press it it brings me to reply but it does not show the quote

i tend to stay up later than everyone else for my good cries. and they happen...

i finally just dreaded all of my hair and i play with them to keep my brain stable. if its getting to be too much (as of yesterday at least) i just go to the bathroom and palm roll them in the mirror. there are 40 so it can take awhile and by the time i am done, i feel much more relaxed and can try the fuck again.

this website and all of its amazing awesomeness is a great way to unwind as well

 

My gosh...you sure do have your plate full, and so many things going wrong at once. hang in there......you seem strong and level headed enough to get through anything....

 

I guess that's the life you ask for when you have babies at 15 lol