Who is the most delerious poster?

get pimples? jeez, i get more going without. masturbation cleans out my system, gets my hormones all in order, cheers me up and makes me a happy, sweet, gentle person.

 

Dear -GOD-,

I've recieved several complaints about you taking your joke too far. Us forum goers have grown sick and tired of the corny words slapped with "th" on the end. Please grab a pair of scissors and decapitate all your fingers so we don't see or hear from you again on the forums.

In Regards,
the whole forum

 

Dear FireQuint,

I've received several prayers about you that you're taking yourself too seriously. Us forum goers have grown sick and tired of the corny posts. Please grab a phone book and contact a surgeon so that he can remove that hemroid that is causing your brain to swell.

In Regards,
the whole forum

P.S. I love you my child.

 

need some help, father? i can call up the crew and have them take care of this guy.

 

Nah, stay away.

He's the Judas of the boards.

 

i greatly enjoyeth the corny posts, god. thine wit is great.

 

Thank you Kacey, I'll make sure that some little dying kids in Africa waste their food to a statue of you.

Quint -

I don't think you'll find the sittuation so funny when I re-incarnate you into a sheep in a Kansas farm. Some farmers there are very lonely and have some...er...uncatholic ways...

 

ooh! i've got just the statue!!

 

Dear God,
I am a Donkey Hunter. Lately there is a shortage of vicious, murderous donkeys, and I need some prey.
Your Humble Servant,
Herbal

 

Warning: The following paragraph deals exclusively with the internal processes of Herbals sexual body, and is not intended for people who are squeamish and don't like to become aroused by disgustingly graphic things; and since Herbal is wired on coffee he does not feel like figuring out what he wrote.
Well KC I find it very exciting when you talk about masterbazion. One of the key differences between male and female masterbation, is that sperm accounts for a males greatest energy source. When it is constantly squirting out everywhere(I find), a major depletion of overall enegry reserves ocurrs. Often this is a preferable state of affairs. That cozmic goo is the planets most pure potent source of protein acclaims many raw foodest! Making it is one of the male bodies primary functions, and probably constantly depleting it results in very primitive male behavior. Fortunately I have read alot of tantric theories and done some kundalini yoga and learned to orgasm and use the tension of my body to block off the ejaculartion and physically pull the energy into my cortex: where it orgasms there instead and can be maintained indeifnitely and rather than depleting energy and creating a lazy afterglow it recycles energy and increases a balanced horney drive. Doing so, though, requires a state of perfect health, and one moment of laziness can break the free flow needed to do it. Not too many people realize an ejaculation can travel up the spine through several conduits and be used to create energy throughout the entire nervous system. Actually alot of those get your penis bigger schemes involve flexing a muscle in the second chakra region and having strength there is on of the primary necesities for sucefully wielding the tantric flow(of course a tantric women is also necesarry, for me it is just experimentation as only women on the internet love me and none in real life lol, although I have had suces in the past! Very lovely indeed.).

On that note I am going to go hunt for an evil donkey and bring it to justice.

 

Good luck finding the evil donkey, if you find him tell him I want my weasel back.

 

Thank you. The force is with us. God demands justice now, finally, after so long of refraining.

 

what an interesting thread this is.....

glad i could be a part of it....

 

No scarlett! Being part of the matrix is good! Er, yes, I mean, scarlett! You are very inteligent and sexy, thanks for encuraging the art of mental masterbation!

 

it's a myth that the male ejaculate requires so much energy to create. however, i am in wholehearted enthusiasm for any practice that increases the potency of anyone's orgasms, and willingly offer myself to anyone attempting them with the full knowledge of my experience and enthusiasm behind the effort. just call my husband. we can work something out. after, i find steve buscemi to be unbearably hot and sexy.

 

"it's a myth that the male ejaculate requires so much energy to create."

No it's not, LoL. Alot of buddhist say a male should never ejaculate more than twice a month. Alot of spiritual gnostics say the only way to achieve mystical communion is to NEVER willingly ejeaculate period. It is one of the most massive energy procedures in the male body besides digestion.
A fully efficient body would never ejaculate. The energy would be recycled. Males that ejaculate constantly have very little energy arriving into their upper nervous system. Although, it is true, some males are not as exposed to this type of energy as others, and can go on ejaculating all day without effect. I am on the opposite side of the spectrum and am highly sensitized to subtle vibrations and other unknown factors.

 

You've taught me so many things, Ryan.

*feels enlightened*

 

For the males that can ejaculate constantly and still have plenty of energy- they are fortunate, and are also simply in a circumstance or with a partner that is used to this level of energy. For males that wish to cease ejaculating in order to experience the effect of recycled sexual energy: some sort of yogic/meditational/physical discipline is routinely required in order to keep the energy cycling.

On a side note: years ago I experienced energy movements of extraordinary proportions(to my awareness). There was a strong suction action on my nuts, so strong it caused momentary pain and a physical pull; and then I experienced the feeling of a massive field of energy physically make its way up my spine(I had to wiggle my spine in order to allow it to pass beyond parts of the spine that were out of allignment) and into my skull where I lost sense of space and time momentarily and experienced the sensation of my 'mind' expanding to larger then life proportions. This experience ocurred after not having ejaculated for over 12 days and having begun doing kundalini yoga exercises off the internet a weekish prior(kundalini is the eastern term for what happens when a males reproductive system reverses itself(recycles as opposed to ejaculates) in order to fuel a transcendent(the action is not yet backed by science) highly energized awareness). Also I was not on any drugs, even cannabis, at the time.

Many males are not drawn to the mystical nature of reality and can then physically ejaculate all day long and have tons of energy(making the ejaculation seem trivial). Though, for me personally, and mentioning the above experience as just one minor example, I have learned that there is more to it then I can perceive directly and that my own functions require very specific disciplines in order to get maximum results. hehehehehe. bla bla bla etc etc etc