who gets more jealous, husbands or wives?

I've read a lot of posts from men, and a few from women, about sharing their mates with other persons. I do have to wonder, though, when it doesn't work out, which one is the more jealous?

When I first learned that my first wife had been giving fucks to other men, it was a time of great crisis for me. It took me several months to find a way to deal with my feelings.

Now, I read of husbands who really did want to share their wives with other men, from early-on, even some who got married with this in mind. And I have read a few posts, very few, from women who want to share their husbands with other women. Which is the more normal, and which is the most problematic?

 

I had a threesome once. It was with a friend and his girlfriend (who I was really cool with). I only did it so I could have sex with him because we were really attracted to each other for a while (that was the only way we figured she would allow/accept us sleeping together).

I believe there is a cardinal rule to threesomes, if your S/O is involved. That is, you have to climax with your S/O and cum with them. I learned this after she became very jealous that he climaxed while having sex with me. For what it's worth she also had some hangups about her physical appearance (she was absolutely beautiful, but her height was a sore spot as she was 6'1 and her boyfriend was 5'10 and I'm 5'4-5'5). We slept the night together in bed, woke up and joked about the whole thing. But a week or so later she refused to talk to me and forbid him from talking to me. She later cheated on him out of spite. I made amends with her, and she confided in me that the threesome is what really ruined it for her.

In my personal relationship experience, I've never let a S/O get down with another female and I wouldn't allow it. I sometimes fantasize about pleasing him that way, like having double the pleasure from myself and another woman but its short lived because I quickly become very jealous from the thought. I know that he is very very very very very jealous about me and other men being friendly. I have no problems with his behavior (some people get really upset over jealousy / controlling behavior but I don't).

 

I think it is different with every couple because each person is different. We have never had a threesome but I could see him being more jealous than me. I'm not jealous at all. Imagining it in my mind, I wouldn't have a problem watching him with another woman. I think he would be extremely jealous of another guy though. He would feel like it was a shot to his ego.

 

I refuse to speak for others. I haven't a jealous bone in my body. It comes from being egomaniacal. Jealousy stems from a fear of loss. I feel very deeply that I'm such a fabulous woman that I need never fear loss. I've dealt with some men who I thought had the same confidence, but who turned out to have a jealous streak. It was nothing outrageous though. They just needed more reassurance than I thought they would. Somtimes the other side of the jealousy coin is overprotective behaviors. I did have one partner commit some serious violence when he felt I was in danger, or being hassled. Though he admitted to occasional jealousy when I fucked other men when he wasn't around, he was never violent about that, though he did outdo himself sexually anytime he knew I'd been sleeping around.

 

Sounds like me. I had a boyfriend in high school that was quick to fight like that too. We went somewhere once and someone that was working there said to me "Were you here earlier today?" I said no I wasn't. All he said was "Are you sure? There was someone here earlier that looked a lot like you" I swear I thought my boyfriend was going to kill him. He got in his face and started yelling at him about calling me a liar. He was ready to fight him. He was never like that with me but he was always ready to pick a fight with someone else. That's exhausting.

 

I'm glad my man doesn't become barbaric and want to kick peoples asses for liking me, lol that would be awfully embarrassing for us both.

 

That relationship didn't last long. He has grown up now. He doesn't do that anymore. He'll actually be at my house for thanksgiving.

 

I guess it is similar, but in your case that was very minor hassling. This guy kicked a guy's ass for peeing in our cabana at a bar. Another guy he dangled off a roof for repeatedly taking nude photos of me after being warned not to. Another guy, I don't know what he was going to do to him if I hadn't wrapped myself around him and made it hard for him to get off the bed we were on, but the guy had been bothering me all day at a swingers venue, had been told repeatedly I wasn't swinging only watching other people and fucking my man, had been told repeatedly to stop tugging on his dick so close to my face (as if he intended to nut on me) and as a final straw, grabbed my ass and parted the cheeks.

Now, my dude had lunged at him one of the many times he put his dick too close to me, and I held on tight and wouldn't let him off the bed. I reminded the guy we were in a couples only room, and as a single who was not our guest, it was time for him to leave. Fast forward to the guy sneaking back in and molesting me, possibly intending to put something up my ass, I was the one who leapt up swinging and who had to be stopped by my dude. Once I was stilled, my dude calmly explained to that guy that it was my dude's job to put him through a window. This agitated me, and I told the guy I didn't want my dude to kick his ass, but that if he was ever in his life arms length from me again, I would rearrange his teeth and make him choke on his own nose. "So memorize my fucking face, Bitch and don't ever be close enough for me to hit you."

See, I think those situations warrant a certain amount of protection from my dude. However, beating a guy up for peeing in our cabana is extreme. Dangling a guy over the edge of a roof is too much. Threatening to defenestrate that last dude...no, actually thrown through glass is maybe the right response to sexual assault, so he wasn't off base there. But that's way different from asking if you were the one seen before. I think my dude would have just said, "My man, your chat with the lady has run its course. You're dismissed." And only if I seemed stressed out by it.

 

Wow, lack of self respect here.

 

On who's part?

 

Yes, I'm with RubySoho6. On who's part, and in what way? Don't just zip through the thread with a cowardly drive-by shitting. Ain't no half-stepping. If you're calling out someone, or someone's behavior, put your big girl panties on and do it properly and with your supposedly self-respecting head held high. Or, button up, don't say boo in the first place, and bite your pusillanimous tongue. Otherwise, what's the point? A poltroon is fucking useless.

 

Irminsul never really adds personal details. He/She trolls (from what I gather of his/her past posts I've seen a lot of this "I troll then rofl @ people" etc). So I don't take offense.

Judge not lest ye be judged!

 

Thanks for the illumination!