Where wis this headed?

I need some advice from both men and women out there. My woman is really gorgeous. I'm talking Print model face, and a body that is a combination of porn star and bikini model. She enjoys to dress to show it off too. So far, AWESOME. But here is the thing. She has said she wants to be a webcam entertainer she says because she wants to make more money for us. At the same time when we go out she loves to get noticed by men, and is always getting hit on. She has made it clear that she would never cheat. And I believe her. But she does seem to love the attention. Her dream was to be a Playboy model. She has even filmed herself naked and playing with herself on video, and sent the video to me, and she has done this while in our bedroom while workers were in the basement. She will walk around in the backyard at our pool naked or at least topless. She always wants to wear less and less clothing when we go out. She always tells me to just enjoy her. And I do. But.... Am I the luckiest guy in the world? Or the most naive guy on the planet?

 

too bad you cant convince her to shoot a bit higher in life.....this is a tough one.....

dudes cant touch her through the webcam.....but they can recognize her in the street....

and they will offer her cash to meet in person....happens everyday

i'd say if you wont be able to get a better looking girlfriend ever then put up with it and try and spend as much of that dough as you can[on yourself]

if you yourself are good looking and will have no problem replacing her then you gotta replace her......she's bordering on tramp imo

 

There's a term for this kind of behavior: "attention whore". (I know a couple women like that, myself.) Your woman might actually need therapy (which, of course, requires that she recognize that she has a problem in the first place.)

She says that she would never cheat on you. At the same time, she wants to wear less and less clothing in public. Also, she loves being noticed by men and hit on. So, what (in her mind) constitutes "cheating"? Does that only mean that she'd never fuck another guy? If so, that leaves a lot of open ground. If she's wearing skimpy clothing and a handsome guy hits on her (say, in a dark, crowded club), would she consider being touched by him cheating? How about slipping a hand inside her clothes for a quick feel? How about a kiss?

Cheating takes place at a lot of levels. Make sure that your definition agrees with hers before moving forward. My experience has been that whenever a couple sets limits like this, there's a good chance that, sooner or later, one or both of them are going to want to stretch those limits.

 

Your comments are eye opening. I do not know if she was in that situation, and maybe had a vodka drink or two whether she would allow a guy to get a quick feel. (When she drinks vodka with me she tends to take off her clothes- albeit never to my knowledge in front of other people).

She did once tell me that she understands that men have a need to get an occasional blow job from other women and that if I ever did that she would forgive me. (I would never do that as I take my vows seriously).

I had not heard the term attention whore before. It is causing me to think about this.

 

This would be kind of a red flag for me. If she's will to "forgive" you for getting a blow job for another woman, then the implication is that she may expect you to forgive her if she gives a blow job to another man. This sounds like grounds for a long, heart-to-heart conversation, at the very least.

 

I agree with both of buzzgunner's posts, the ones posted so far in this thread 100%.

Her comment (which is faulty in it's logic if she's indeed implying this) about the occasional blowjob, does seem to be implying she expects you to have the same standard of forgiveness about her blowing another man.

Many women often take a man's silence, as an "okay that's cool" with the assumption they were understood correctly through inference. When they bring up topics like this that imply something.

I'd bring up that topic with the girlfriend again just to clarify the communication on that topic and on the broader one about both of your definition of "cheating".

Imho, a "cheating" act is any act through which an STD/STI can transfer from one person to another, that's done with another person in a monogamous or other type of closed-relationship with an unapproved person not from the group of allowed persons.

Examples: (Hugging > Okay; good friends hug and this is an unfair expectation)
(Kissing > Cheating; Not okay because of herpes transference)
(Oral sex > Cheating; not okay of oral transmission of STD/STI's)

(Vaginal/Anal >Cheating; not okay for the same reasons as above, in addition to the risk of pregnancy and the issues that come with that abortion/new kid, and split resources for that like money)




(Webcamming > okay with me, it's a profession just be aware of being
noticed in public or what you do, and if your a parent
take the embarrassment of your children into
consideration if you adopt such a profession.)

 

I hear you on this. I am concerned about it. The immediate thought I had was that she was trying to tell me that if she were to blow some guy that I should also forgive her. She has mentioned that she sees married couples that appear perfectly happy where the husband has sex outside of the marriage because that is "what men do." This man, me, don't do that.

Now she also wants to be a trainer at a hard core gym. She says she wants to train over weight women, but I am starting to have my doubts and wonder if she wants to "train" people at the gym so she can meet guys to give blow jobs to. UGH. And I thought this was going to work out.

 

Ask her. Don't go assuming things she'll go do either, she could be telling the truth.

Also there are a lot of men who are one women men, contrary to the belief that all men are players.

 

WIfe. Married about a year. Been together about 3 years. 40 years old.
Behaviour has progressed to this over time. It seems to wax and wane. Some days very much this way. Other days she will be sad and upset.

 

so you are worried about a 40 yr old broad doing webcam?....dude that's a bit sad....I thought she was like 22ish...............this info along with the info you have given in ALL your other threads leads me to question the legitimacy of your threads

 

the threads are legit. She is always telling me that I am suppressing who she is. The other half of the time she seems to not want to be this way. Very confusing for me
BTW, if you saw her, she looks like she is in her 20s. Blessed physically in many ways, including skin, body genetics, etc.

 

then set her up with a server and a camera....buy an ad off this website and start spending the cash......don't even hesitate

there is a tiny chance she would fall for some handsome rich dude from Ecuador but its a small one

its easy to lure customers from particular countries so you have less chance that bob the neighbor doesn't stumble across her cha cha on the internet

 

Hmmmm...... Not so much concerned about her falling for someone else- prenup is lock solid - more concerned about the potential for her to do something local. I don't think she would but one never knows. I would not be surprised if during the day she walks around the house naked in a manner that she can be seen from outside. I also know she wears micro bikinis in the pool in the back yard and I have to believe she has strayed from the yard like that. All that is one thing. But I draw a line on actual cheating along the lines someone else described in post before.

 

I don't like cheater either....I am constantly telling people here on hf to lose their partners after cheating starts....its over if that happens...imo

thing to remember....if she wants to cheat you wont be able to stop her......marriage is kind of a ''all or nothing'' when it comes to trust.....

 

You offer some really good advice ROLLINGALONG.

Doe anyone on here actually have a wife who is on a webcam? Wheter to fulfill her need for exhibitionism, or her need to help "get men off" and that power trip without actually physically doing that in front of them in person, or to make money?

Id be curoisu to know how this word out?

 

No, I think someday she would cheat on you.

 

Yup. I agree.