Where it all starts, and she is clueless.

You've been with her for 20+ years, gave it your all and then some at times. Both of you have, yet she no longer gives her all when you are needing it the most. She says you're being selfish when in fact she is unwilling to provide the least of effort to satisfy sexually with even a hand-job. Many resort to actually begging for sexual attention which can solidify her unwillingness. It's so very common.

We're still vibrant in our 40's and so very sexually frustrated when all of a sudden, we become intrigued or propositioned by one of the same sexes to orally satisfy our much-needed desires.

Yep, you allow him to suck your cock and before long you are sucking his cock. She left you with no option.

SOUND FAMILIAR?

 

Yes

 

It really does. The best option for me has been to go around her for sex. I dont beg.

 

The sad part is if I were to be found out she would be clueless. I really don’t think our wives have any idea how strong the sex drive is in men, and they make the mistake of thinking its like theirs. Or they don't care and just think we will adjust to not having sex and be ok with it.

 

Most wives that have no interest in sex and as long as her guy gives her all she needs then the marriage is great. So no I don’t think most sexless women really care. I know mine doesn’t. She says she does but I know she does not. I could fly her around the globe for a romantic getaway and she would rave about how great of time we had but she’d yawn and turn over and go to sleep. It’s just how some of them are wired I guess.

 

The only time i talk to my Wife, during sex, is if she phones !

 

Yes very all started at 37 for me just like you described now I question my sexuality

 

It was a viable option, as suggested by my wife. She was unable to have sex any more, physically and I was left with only a few options. Since she wasn't to keen on me and other women, she thought it was time to try bi, which I promised her I would years ago. I knew that she had a facination about gay/bi men and when the option came up again, I accepted the offering..I can't remember ever receiving a bad bj so I took up the offer and subsequently returned the favor, while she watched .
Whileher circumstances didn't offer many options, I had the oportunity to explore my own. Being over 70, it didn't make much of a difference any more. Getting a great bj is worth the effort to give great bj. It just doesnt happen enough. Sometimes you just have to play the cards you were dealt.

 

Amen to that!

 

Yepp, been there, living it. Twice in 5 years, which were flukes, and sparse before that. Says wouldn't bother her if she never has sex again! Well it would very much bother ME if I never have sex again!
I'm going to bring up an open marriage, she doesn't know, or has turned a blind eye to my bi interests. I did not get married to become celibate, let alone at a non elderly age.
My bi interests have always been there, far prefer women, but when the female well runs dry and you're thirsty, the bi well looks mighty appealing. Would prefer a married couple with a bi husband, but difficult to find.
The women often don't like a guy stepping outside the marriage for sex. But in my mind it isn't cheating if she has closed up shop completely!
I'm just very cautious about who I interact with, have some quality possibilities in the works. Waiting on the last grasp (hopefully) of covid to simmer down first.
I'm sure when I bring up an open marriage it will be met with anger, hostility, jealousy, threats. To which I will steadfastly point out the hypocrisy. I won't get suckered into sex a few times out of her misplaced fear of losing me, nor accept once a year or every few months, as the games of rejection & never ending putting it off would soon start up again. I've already been conned the last decade with that.
And the irony is, I'm very attracted to her looks, body, and it wouldn't take that much damn effort to satisfy my urges and keep me from being miserable!

 

I had stated this to my first wife many, many times and the few times she gave in she was extremely satisfied to then return to her closed-door policy. I was done asking and found satisfaction elsewhere. We divorced three years later after having been together for 28 years.

 

thats the part I don't get, like you the few times my wife is open to sex I have made sure she has a very good time and is satisfied. it just seems to me she would want more of that.

 

My wife and I are both 50 now. She has pretty much lost her desires, but she wants me to continue mine. She asked me to invite my man to move in with us. I guess this is the opposite of this conversation. She loves me, and wants me to be happy.

 

Who's bed would you sleep in every night?

 

Now THAT sounds interesting. Does she know him?

 

This is *exactly* my situation. Wife stated one night during a reoccurring argument that, "I'm fine with never having sex ever again".

We have an 8 year old together so leaving isn't an option for me... yet. Its been a dead bedroom for YEARS.

I've had a few bisexual and gay experiences when I was younger so its always been an option. I've begun to explore these options again in my late 30's because I feel sex with another woman is cheating. Being with a guy again makes me feel like it negates cheating and it also makes me incredibly excited.

 

and they wonder why men go Bi or have affairs. thats what started me on both.

 

Yes !

 

So true unfortunately

 

happened to me, she stopprd I started