Where did you meet your first steady guy?

Been on a couple dates now with guys. No spark with one. I was too slow with the other.

I’d like to meet a great guy I can connect with on all levels for a LTR. I don’t think the internet is going to work in that regard.

The question is for men in steady relationships with another man, where did you meet your very first guy who you really connected with, not just a hook-up guy?

 

So, I'm in your boat too, looking for that one special guy. I've never had an Long Term Relationship with another man, and I'm tired of one time casual sex. In my 30 years of getting naked with guys in bathhouses, gay sex clubs, arcades, gay orgies, each other's homes, etc., I've only seen 3 guys for sex more than one time, and only one that was a little more serious, though not one I would call an LTR. He and I did go out on dinner dates, hung out watching TV, and had sex. But it was before I was out to myself enough to be able to fall in love with a man, and he was looking for love. So it didn't go beyond our meeting a bunch of times over a few months. But we happened to meet each other online on Squirt, a gay hookup site. But I would not say that's really the place to look for a LTR, since most guys on there and other gay sex hookup sites are looking for NSA sex.

But my recent more gay awakening (which I've written about in other threads) leaves me wanting at least a close friendship, with sex, with one guy, if not love. So, determined to find that, I recently went looking for local gay social groups, and found the only two in existence in my Region it looks like. And I joined them both just last week. One is a Facebook Group, and the other is a Meetup Group (i.e. via the "Meetup.com" site & app).

Well, tonight was my first meeting (it was with the Facebook Group) and it was fantastic! I'm not sure how many men belong to this group, but when they get together, it's often at least 20 guys that show, I'm told, so that's pretty good. And sure enough, there were about 20 gay men of all ages, ranging from early 20s to 75, there tonight (I just turned 60), and the Group meets regularly, at least once a week, in a bar or restaurant. Tonight was the regular Thursday get-together in a small, quiet pub-like bar.

You have to understand, I live in the Niagara Region, and it has no gay bars, though some have tried to make a go of it and failed. We just don't have the population for it, and the Region is quite conservative to start with. Maybe if there was at least one gay bar in Niagara, it might be a place to meet a man for more than just casual sex. I don't know. But this small straight bar has a separate room and that's where this gay group gets together for drinks and chat. So tonight, some of the guys were couples, and others were single, from what I could gather. And all these regulars seemed to know each other--I suppose because this group has been doing this for quite some time. But two of the guys plus I were brand new tonight--first-timers, which was cool, because I then didn't stand out as much.

I can't tell you how incredible it felt to be among other gay (clothed) men (yes, I'm bi, but no longer interested in women for sex or love). I felt like myself for the first time, able to completely be myself. It felt so comfortable, and I instantly liked every one of these guys. I really felt a connection with everyone. Conversation was lively and intelligent, and truly amazing. I have to tell you, it just reaffirmed my budding homosexuality.

So if I had to make a recommendation, I would say try and find a local gay social group on Facebook and Meetup, and then go to their meetings. Or just Google the name of your town or region and "gay social group", and see what comes up. That's what I did. It's a starting place. Then from getting to know these guys, you will learn about other things happening socially in your local gay community. That's kind of how I think this is going to proceed for me. I'm going to definitely go to more of these get-togethers, get to know these guys more, get to know the gay community here, make some friendships, and maybe find a longer-term lover and even a boyfriend. I can't tell you how excited I am.

 

I’m going to do this, it does sound exciting. It’ll be good to be with other like minded gay/bi men who are looking for intellectual connection and not just the sex (which I want too of course but also more than that).
I’m excited for you after reading this and your other post which I commented on.

 

I met my man through Craig's List some 13 years ago. It was a "hook-up" for mutual oral sex. We were both married to women, but very sexually frustrated and enjoyed helping each other out. He and I found ourselves contacting each other almost weekly for repeat get togethers. After a few months we found out through conversation that we had a lot of the very same interests and began do things together that didn't involve oral sex. Our personalities and sense of humor are identical as we have become very comfortable doing things together both in and out of the bedroom. Our wives are aware of our situation and support it, he and I do have five or six other married men we engage with as well. We don't advertise our relationship outside of those within our circle and everyone on the "outside" is none the wiser. We've created our own male social club over time as we gather within each other's homes for sex but we all also do other things together like camping, kayaking, card night, and various home projects. It's a great mutual friendship that also provides happy endings.

 

That sounds great LowHangers. Having sex with people you connect with well outside of the bedroom, male or female, is wonderful. I’m happy for you.

——-

Lately I’ve been so busy with things in life I haven’t had time to meet new men, much less go on dates. I’m very much looking forward to retirement.

Thanks to everyone for sharing inputs.