Whens the last time you shit your pants

summer of 2007.. what a horrible day..

 

I can't even remember the last time I shit my pants.. probably when I was way younger. I can usually hold it haha.

My best friend shit her pants a couple months ago. I was there when it happened, it was so gross.

 

your best friends not so good at holding it?

 

At Dairy Queen? I hope not!

 

I recall sharting once or twice and having to go home and change and shower because of a little bit that came out, but I can't remember actually shitting myself. I do recall one incident at a camp I attended in my teens. A bunch of guys in my dorm were competing to see who could do the biggest "suck in fart" (where you hold open your buttcheeks, breath out and suck air in through your anus and fart it out again). Every now and then one of them would call out "nugget!" and go running to the bathroom with their hands all soiled. It was one of the most fucked up things I have witnessed. Anyway, the guys who were best at it used to suck air in before they entered the mess hall and make a giant synchronized fart at the dinner table. That was quite funny, but ultimately messed up.

 

dang, How do you suck air up your ass? I heard that on the radio once.

 

Pretty sure. But I'm also pretty sure it was my own fault, I think I let my ham sandwich sit too long.

 

yeah, pork is scary to begin with.

 

I'm kind of scared of ham these days.

 

I bet you are.

 

Wow.
Best/gayest story I've heard this entire month so far.

 

when i was 6 or 7. i was afraid to use the toilet at my uncle's house.

 

The best position is supposedly bending over with your pants down and your butt cheeks spread, then making a contraction of your colon (much like you would a normal fart, but you would suck in instead of pushing out) without any air in your lungs. When people get good at it they can do it in any position and thus fart at will.

Imagine the power.

 

when i was pregnant, i sharted at work.

 

i concur! but damn did i laugh out loud on that one!

 

Practice begins tonight.

 

any way to insure against nuggets? I dont want or need the bonus plan.

 

i'd say just don't do it but if youre going to well that's just a risk youre going to have to take

 

well, I fart every day but I havent shit myself since I was a teen. Just need to make sure that remains a fact

 

I don't know. I guess take a big healthy dump first and ensure yer system is clean for the next few hours. Have some disinfectant soap and a bucket of warm water handy in the unlikely case that you will nugget.